Does Anyone Struggle With Releasing Your Emotions?

[Running to music]

It takes trust, with yourself and your therapist, giving yourself permission to accept your emotions and to stop fearing.

Listen to the things you tell yourself, are they true, are they really true?

I do tell myself that I might not recover from the feelings. I probably need to challenge that.

thanks for the insight.

 

[Running to music]

People here have listed a few reasons why the conscious pushing through thing might not be what can happen... some people were never taught what certain emotions were as kids, so they have to learn to identify the sensations, context, and all the basics. Others of us learned that some emotions were not safe to feel for various reasons as kids. Someone might have punished us for them, or just getting no support at all could feel so frightening that we strongly learned not to feel them.

I think you are right about the safety issue. Probably the first obstacle I have to overcome somehow.

 

[Running to music]

I never learned how to express my feelings safely so I believe it takes time and patience.

I am beginning to see from many replies that it will take a lot of time.

Thanks for reminding me to be patient with myself.

I identify with everything you mentioned.

thank you.[DOUBLEPOST=1404924628,1404924433][/DOUBLEPOST]

Yup, I still struggle some... particular with the sad or bad ones. In my abusive home as a child and teen and then later in my first marriage to show pain or cry was weakness and lead to more abuse.

I too learned to be silent in fear of making a sound of pain or crying that would lead to more abuse.

I'm sorry we have that in common.

thanks.

 

[Whitebird]

I'm struggling with it too. I think it takes time. Last session with my therapist I cried for the first time. I had a really bad feeling. I felt like it's not me because it was unpredictable. He didn't interrupt me and let me release my emotion, but I extremely tried to control myself. After that I left his office immediately. I think it doesn't need any effort. It happens when it is the time.

Be patient with yourself

 

[KwanYingirl]

WOW! It just struck me what you said that you learned to be silent so the abuse wouldn't escalate. How have I missed that all this time? Thank you all for helping me get that! I had no idea why I don't cry, or if I do, it is very controlled.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I also was beaten and I refused cry because my dad was a sadist and loved and got off on inflicting pain so I refused to cry. I am very strong willed as a result.

I can tear up but I never learned to cry so I do not do it.

I can, however, feel emotions and some of them are so good and some of them hurt so much. I have learned to identify my feelings better than I used to and it has taken many years to get to where I am today.

I think my goal is to feel all of my emotions although I really liked what Shell had to say about fear and emotions.

 

[Running to music]

I also was beaten and I refused cry because my dad was a sadist and loved and got off on inflicting pain so I refused to cry. I am very strong willed as a result.

I can tear up but I never learned to cry so I do not do it.

So sorry this happened to you. Makes perfect sense why you don't cry.

We share the very strong willed trait.

The more people post, the more I see the connection to intense fear as a HUGE barrier to releasing emotions.

take care.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Yep I majorly struggle with this. Crying especially. It was a display of anguish deserving of punishment because my abuser had not done wrong by me so why was I upset? Now, even when I'm trying to cry, I get close to really feeling and it's like a switch I'm not in control of flicks and I go numb.

 

[xena21]

This week my therapist told me it was time to open up to her. She tells me my emotions are locked with my past, and to let everything out, I need to talk things through with her. I have been seeing her for a few months and I now trust her enough that I probably could tell her stuff that I couldn't have told her before.

She wants to help me get through this. I know I need to let her know what is going on with me, but I am so afraid. Do people understand that? I guess that's natural for the first time.

I feel for you. Emotions are so hard. I don't even know the first of it. I wish I could give you some good advice, but all I can say is hang i there, and keep moving on.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes, I understand what you mean @xena21. I am afraid of my emotions mainly because I don't know where they begin or how to stop them from escalating.

 

[Leigh925]

I spent several months in therapy not feeling...then I spent time starting to feel but definitely not allowing myself to cry...I think I saw crying as a weakness and I didn't want to feel sorry for myself. Now it seems like I can't get through a session without crying...which actually feels better. I had and still have a lot to release and I feel like I can finally catch a full deep breath! Occasionally I wonder if I will stop crying! My therapist assures me that it will all level out and I can see that happening! The tears have been good for me even though I hated them in the beginning!

 

[Running to music]

Now, even when I'm trying to cry, I get close to really feeling and it's like a switch I'm not in control of flicks and I go numb.

yes, a switch just goes on before I can even comprehend what is happening to me.

Parts of my body even begin to go numb one by one-- it's the strangest thing.

My T calls it dysregulation of emotion. Says it is common with Borderline Personality Disorder.

There have been times when I have been able to cry in session, but it took me 45 min of the time to just cry for 2.[DOUBLEPOST=1404956307,1404956129][/DOUBLEPOST]

Occasionally I wonder if I will stop crying! My therapist assures me that it will all level out and I can see that happening! The tears have been good for me even though I hated them in the beginning!

I wonder too if once I start crying, will it ever stop?

so far it always has, but that thought always enters my mind in the struggle to release pain.

I hope that it will all level out as you have seen.

thanks.[DOUBLEPOST=1404956600][/DOUBLEPOST]

She wants to help me get through this. I know I need to let her know what is going on with me, but I am so afraid. Do people understand that? I guess that's natural for the first time.

hang i there, and keep moving on.

I certainly understand what you mean about being so afraid. I think it is natural the 1st time, 2nd time, 20th time..... as long as it takes.

thanks for the encouragement to keep moving on.