Relationship I Think My Sufferer Is Reacting To My Family Situation

[Glara]

My sufferer recently canceled plans with me and told me to visit with my Dad until he was available. There was more to the conversation, but the most important part was I told him my dad hasn't spoken to me since March. He never answered that text. I get the feeling it triggered or stressed him in some way. I was just wondering if anyone has
experienced anything like this?

That was Tues morning. I haven't heard from him since. I texted today for the holiday. He answered quickly but said he's working and not in a good mood. I never responded.

I know he started out feeling upset and guilty about canceling on me, and he knew I was upset because I wasn't responding quickly. Then I told him about my dad, which I'm thinking maybe was to much?

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm not sure @Glara , but actually "non-important" parts could be the trigger. Sometimes they are not easily identifiable.

Sounds like it's just difficult for him. Does he have family (re: Thanksgiving?) He's communicating if he has said what he has.

Happy Thanksgiving btw. :) :hug:

 

[Glara]

He has some family. He's very close to a sister that lives near me, which is far from him.

He's communicating in that he answered me tonight and he answered quickly. But he didn't answer the last text, which was the one with information. That's why I feel like the information triggered him. The information being my dysfunctional family.

 

[Glara]

And Happy Thanksgiving to you too

 

[Tinyflame]

It might be @Glara . But he did say he was in a bad mood, perhaps he wasn't processing much after that was shared (that being the truth).

 

[Wastinglight]

I agree with Junebug - it's very hard to tell. It could even be that he himself might not know what he's reacting to. My guy sometimes doesn't reply once we get past the usual pleasantries and I actually tell him about what I'm up to. Especially if it's in reference to me doing something without him - even if it was his idea! It's a weird thing that, on the one hand, he often encourages me to go out and do stuff without him (well, if it means that we will spend less time together as a result :O_o:), and then when I do, he seems to ignore me for a bit afterwards, or if he does reply, he never mentions it.

Or it could be that he's feeling bad about cancelling on you, so he wants to avoid talking to you in order to avoid talking about "it". Reading between the lines here, but I often feel that's what my guy does.

I can usually tell when he's struggling because, if he texts me at all, it will be very perfunctory saying he's busy and tired, which is code for: don't bother trying to talk to me about anything right now. This stuff is top of mind for me right now cos he's done all three things this week!

Hope that helps.

 

[scout86]

if he texts me at all, it will be very perfunctory saying he's busy and tired,

That could also be code for "he's busy and tired".

 

[Wastinglight]

Hehe, yeah okay, fair call!

 

[Glara]

I know he feels bad about canceling because he encouraged me to change my plans and I jumped on the opportunity to spend more time with him. I know I shouldn't have. First he was sorry but then he got defensive and tried to turn it around on me. And he suggested I visit my dad, not knowing I have a convoluted relationship with him. So he already felt bad and a little guilty about canceling. I just feel like hearing about my dad pushed him over. Now he's not texting at all but he did answer when I texted. I don't know. It just sucks, I feel like shit. My whole insides feel paralyzed. The holiday and dealing with my family was bad enough. My daughter was the only normal person in my life and she moved out over the summer.