Why Does Anyone Feel Entitled To Sexually Harass Anyone?

[jmni]

Today I completed the last session of a thread/yarn spinning class. I had gotten some weird impression that the teacher was gay or something and might of liked me or something else inappropriate (not sure what) from earlier. She is in her mid 70s at least. So the first thing she did was put a paper on my leg and touch the inside of my thigh when I was using one spindle. Towards the end of the class she actually slapped me on the ass.

So of course I end up remembering being shamed for not acting like Madea when I was sexually harassed in the past and it brings up 100 traumatic memories. I can't understand why anyone would ever feel entitled to harass anyone or touch another person. And apparently she is the president of this place.

 

[joeylittle]

Ugh. I'm sorry to hear that, @jmni - that is just ugh, ugh, ugh. I don't know why people feel entitled to do that, either.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Geez, some people are twisted. Someone needs to slap her across the face I think (not my actual advice).
I'm so sorry you ran into someone like that... :(

Hug if you want one .

 

[rightkindofme]

I would talk to management. Someone who is that old was socialized to believe that a larger degree of physical familiarity was socially "ok" than is currently believed. If you tell a manager that you felt very uncomfortable they will have words with her about her behavior. The gym doesn't want to risk a lawsuit.

I'm sorry it happened to you. No one has the right to touch you without your consent.

 

[littlelostchild]

Totally inappropriate! Notice how manipulative she was, too, waiting until the end of the session to do it? She knew it was wrong.

I would report her to a supervisor.

She is a pig!

 

[Recovery4Me]

I do hear you Jmni and understand.

I agree with rightkindofme. She is older, works in a tactical field and needs to come to terms with today's thoughts on appropriate behavior.Tell the management.

Backside slapping was an odd custom between some sports & jocks at the end of a game, some farm hand areas to express you did a good job inferring,"Now on with you." & some grandmas. By some people, hugs were considered "too soft" in a harsh world or hippy-dippy stuff. It was eventually prohibited between the opposite sex in the work areas as it became considered a sexual contact around the 80's in my state (but was still used in sports and down on the farm much longer).

Not defending the woman at all...she could be twisted and you should not be touched unless you want.

Just a thought...occasionally you still see it in TV, like a modified back slap with NCIS with Gibbs and his employees (which is actually considered assault now). Their characters are set in our area.

 

[jmni]

I appreciate your responses, but it wasn't a cycling class. It was a craft class (as in spinning wool). They teach stuff like weaving, knitting, and sell yarn and wool. So all of the sports environment stuff is irrelevant. Although you would expect that sort of behavior in that enviorment and not the kind of place where it's 99.9% women.

It's a not for profit arts center and she is the president. Maybe that is an elected position and she can be removed. I would rather kick her in the crotch. Thanks for your support, guys.

Just a thought...occasionally you still see it in TV, like a modified back slap with NCIS with Gibbs and his employees (which is actually considered assault now).

Do you think she saw something on tv and decided she could just go out and do that to a random person? What a f*cking weirdo.

 

[rightkindofme]

Oh wow. I totally misunderstood then. I'm so sorry. :(

 

[Recovery4Me]

I understood about the spinning and wool. Most spinners I know are women. I knit, hang in the communities of artisans ect.

But most important to me, I also understood she presented an inappropriate tactile response for this day and age, as well as your boundaries were violated. :(

Did you tell her how you felt? As a President, she should be easy to relocate. What measures can you do to dissipate the anger in an appropriate manner that would restore your dignity? You are a gentle soul from what I have seen. I am sure, you could decide upon a healthy resolution that would allow you to right this wrong. Just a thought, perhaps not a good one.

For example, the other day, I touched a senior's shoulder as she could not hear me and I was trying to convey something about the menu that was important to her. She got very angry and shouted not to touch her (but then we both are hard of hearing). This allowed me to apologize and make amends. What if you gave her the chance to make amends?...or we could just go together and both kick her...your choice.:clown: :hug:'s if you accept.

 

[jmni]

rightkindofme, that's ok.

One thing I hate about this kind of scenario, is that it refluxes memories of which people were clearly being malicious, aggressive, brutalistic. On the other hand there are people that just lack boundaries and do weird things in a much less creepy way. So then I start comparing someone like this to them.

Although, I did compose a short email telling her how I felt, but I haven't sent it yet.

 

[Philippa]

It's good you have perspective about the differences in people who do this sort of thing. So many people seem to have boundary issues. I've had an overwhelming amount of sexual harassment in just the last year...just today a co-worker slapped me on the ass. She was just young and from vietnam and did not speak much english. I'm sure she thought it was just being funny and having a joke, but I hate being slapped on the butt by anyone, unless I ask for it. People just don't seem to be able to stop themselves and are completely unaware of how violating it is. This woman you had the experience with sounds creepy as hell. Hope she replies to your email with respect and apologises for her bad behaviour.

Oh, I just read that this was from the 1st of december. What was the outcome? Did she apologise?

 

[Anrish]

I'm really sorry that something like this happened to you. No one shall touch another person without being allowed to.

Did you go there again? ...and did you send the mail?

I'm really with you in this and hope that it will turn out well for you. *encouraging hug if you accept it*