Sufferer Introducing Myself Stargazer

[stargazer]

Hello, I am Stargazer. I am diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD. Lots of trauma. I need to communicate with those who are going through this thing. I am diagnosed for about 6 months. Lots of disturbed sleep, anxiety that is free floating, and huge problems with night fear, checking, dreams, hypervigilance, and somatic pain all over esp. my neck, head, and shoulders. My therapist says I carry it all there. I am a very good pretender. I work a good job with lots of responsibility; but when I get home it becomes too real. Shrill sounds, fire alarms, intruder alerts, screaming kids really shake me. I wish I could cry; but I feel like stone. I just need to know that I am not wrong, irresponsible, or out of place in the world. Body smells kill me, esp. old woman, going in their pants smells. One perpetrator was so foul and stinking that I flash when I smell them. And they are as close a family member as you can get. I do mindfulness, exercise, dance, laugh, and play; but it is always there waiting for me, tapping my shoulder even when I am happy and safe. My therapist says they can't hurt me anymore, but they do every day. So that is why I am here. ST

 

[Nighthawk]

Welcome to the forum.:)

 

[Em C.]

Hi @stargazer welcome to the forum! I hope it helps cope with the trauma you've experienced!

 

[Lucycat]

Hi @stargazer and welcome to the forum

 

[intothelight]

@stargazer Welcome to the forum!

My therapist says they can't hurt me anymore, but they do every day.

The memories do continue to hurt, but with time and trauma processing it does get better. I hope you find this site beneficial to your healing.