Sufferer Hello From Colorado.

[Jester]

You can call me Jester. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar 1 in May of this year. My therapy has done wonders, but one facet my therapist won't bring up (and is hesitant to discuss) is the hypersexuality. I was abused by a family member (but not raped) at least 5 times between the ages of 6 and 12. I was molested by at least two strangers my 4th grade year. Additionally, I was abused--physically (not sexually) and emotionally--by my peers from 1st to 9th grades, resulting in my desire to kill them.

My therapist will openly ask me questions about the physical and emotional abuse, but we've only talked twice about the sexual abuse. He gave me the usual disclaimer about filing a police report if I give him enough information on a crime, but since I have a phobia of cops as well, he's not going to get that kind of information,

I'm here because I see where this community really supports one another, and there are issues I haven't been able to find help for.

ETA: If you have a question, feel free to ask it. I'm pretty much an open book.

 

[Em C.]

Welcome to the forum! I hope we can help you continue your healing process :)

 

[Jester]

Thank you, Em C. I don't expect therapy here, but what I have found to be equally effective is talking to people who understand, even if they can't help, per se.

 

[Justmehere]

Hey Jester, welcome to the forum! Glad you are here. I commend you on your courage to face what you have been through.

Are you a minor? You don't have to say unless you want to. I only ask because a therapist being so quick to contact the police is something ususally they would only do if you were a minor and still in harms way.

 

[Jester]

No, I'm 29 years old. The disclaimer about contacting the police is a law here in Colorado, regardless of the age of the patient. If they confess to a crime, a report has to be filed. If they talk about a crime that hasn't been prosecuted, a report has to be filed. It's up to the judicial branch of government if they want to pursue charges.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you sure that's the law? Elsewhere abuse of a minor gets reported to social services and it goes from there. I reported and had no contact with anybody. Actually my social worker did the reporting for me, and that was the end of that. [If you're an adult and the abuse was long ago, there's a good chance of such a case going nowhere unless others have come forward.]

"Enough information" is actually details that could identify your abuser. Before I reported I could sit here and say "my babysitter molested me" until I was blue in the face and give a million details and they couldn't do any reporting as I had a number of babysitters as a child. What I couldn't say were things like who she was in the community, where she lived then, where she lives now, really, anything that could identify her. So please don't hide it all away because you are afraid of reporting. Just don't give identifying details and there is nothing to report.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Jester

Welcome to the forum, there are many here with certain similarities. I also don't trust the system, due to everything being shoved umder the rug. As I'm a minor, I'm in an ongoing bad situation, so I can relate to a lot of what you say.

For the wanting to kill them part, well, I have a few different opimioms, sometimes I try to think it's not worth it, but a few months ago when I punched a guy in selfdefense I had a short bloodlust, I just wanted to spill more blood, wanted to kill, wanted to taste blood, I feel bad about that, but it's what happened, and It's how I felt.

There are many similar people here! Welcome :D

 

[Jester]

Are you sure that's the law? .

Yes, that's the law here. I checked after my first appointment. I keep trying to bring up my sexual abuse with my therapist, but he quickly changes the subject. I haven't said anything to compromise the identities of my abusers. I did say "a family member and several other people abused me sexually in this way," so he knows what's going on. What he doesn't know is which family member it was, where the abuse took place, and where my abusers are now.

@Jester

Welcome to the forum, :D

Thank you for the welcome. I went through a period of a few months a long time ago where I wanted to kill the people who abused me, but I have since worked out those issues (thankfully). Now my major problem is my hypersexuality.

 

[Justmehere]

I happen to be vary familiar with the laws in Colorado, and that isn't quite accurate understanding of the law in Colorado. If it was, then no one would ever talk about trauma in therapy in Colorado. I suggest talking more to your therapist about exactly when they would report and not.

 

[Lucycat]

f it was, then no one would ever talk about trauma in therapy in Colorado.

That is exactly what I was thinking. How does anyone speak of being traumatised without involving the police if everything has to be reported. I am glad you have said differently. It would certainly seem that it should be investigated and clarified - perhaps even with other therapists/departments to see if this particular one is misunderstanding his own state laws.

I do not understand how you can have successful treatment/ recovery from sexual abuse without discussing it. How come you have been able to discuss other abuse - is that not also a crime?

 

[sun seeker]

Welcome to the forum!

My suggestion would be to ask your therapist directly why he changes the subject away from sexual abuse. There are a few possibilities and it's hard to say what his thought process is if you don't ask. One possibility is that he feels you need to stabilize more by working through some of your other traumas first. If that's his thinking, there is a lot of validity to it but it would be good for you to know so you don't keep getting frustrated.

Another is that he just doesn't feel comfortable working on sexual abuse, and if that is the case, you also want to know because it may be time to change therapists.

 

[ghotiff]

Welcome Jester.

I would want to know why they change the subject and feel you should ask (when you're ready to).

I'm seeing my T mainly for my Csa (childhood sexual abuse) so there is no problem with my T discussing it but I'm careful with stabilization as my first T went too fast and I spiraled downhill. So if they are avoiding it for stabilization reasons, my suggestion is to tread carefully.

I have heard that some T's don't like discussing Csa due to "false memory" problems. If this is the case then maybe your Csa is better to be worked through with someone else?

For what it's worth my T keeps telling me that it doesn't matter "what" happened, but how it felt/feels. Sometimes I wonder about this statement, but maybe she is right (she usually is it seems).