What Do People Do To Get The Most Out Of Therapy?

[Elsa23]

Hey, Just a quick queston as the title says to see what other people do to get the most out of therapy. I've been on and off with therapy since May 2013. Generally, I take a long time to get stuff out when I'm talking. TBH it's taken me this long to say what is affecting me most (since May 2013!!) Often I seem to get side tracked on what I'd call external issues (stressors such as work, college and managing my symptoms) without being direct about the crux of it, I tend to be vague and indirect about what is really affecting me. I don't always admit to everything, becasue I don;t want assumptions to be made - especially about dreams when I don't always trust them myself. During the week I notice all these things and have so many thoughts but when I sit face to face with my T I can't get them out or end up saying nothing.

My T is very patient and I really trust her. This is no criticism of her. In fact, it's one of the reasons I trust her so much - she doesn't try and lead or imply anything. We've tried EMDR a couple of times but only for a few sessions in a row at the most. A lot of the time we stop becasue I have too much stuff going on outside. I'm due to start again this week. I know before I've struggled a bit with EMDR - I suppose I feel very concious even though I want to be truthful. I find myself trying to fight what I'm saying or it's like my voice isn;t mine. I realise it's something that can't be rushed but I'm a broke student and I can't afford T indefinitely. Any thoughts or advice greatly appreciated. And sorry, this was supposed to be a quick question, don't know how I tryped so much. (Also I do keep diaries and read over them sometimes before I go in)

 

[MissKB]

I find I get the most out of therapy if I'm given "homework". I like given worksheets to work on self esteem or trauma issues. I like feeling like I'm accomplishing something and not just blabbering for an hour to a person. I take the week to do the "homework" and then we discuss it during sessions. That why if I think of an issue or question during the week it gets written down and I don't forget to bring it up in session.

Just a note on the EMDR. I had a therapist who started me on it and then found out she got a promotion and would be over the counselors and no longer would be taking patients; so she rushed me through it. I keeps you very raw and brought me through the ringer. But it maybe helped for about a month and then everything went back down the shi**er. It probably did that because she had to rush me. Good luck with it.

 

[TonyG]

I was in a bit of a state when I started seeing a psycholigist, I had reached the point where I could not live with my memories,
So I just poured it all out from start to finish in my first session and it took me two and a half hours to finish, That was 3 months ago and now I'm dealing with the details of the event. How I felt and that feeling of hopelessness.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think you need to take a leap of faith and be open and honest with your therapist. It sounds like you are overthinking things and that is your worst enemy. I think you should tell your therapist that you want to focus on the bigger issue which is trauma and stop "putting out fires" which is essentially what you're doing by going in there every week and talking about what has stressed you since your last session. Unfortunately, in my experience, most therapists work like this so it can take forever and a day to get to the crux of the matter---the trauma itself. I processed everything in one fell swoop in a trauma program, so I had the luxury of not having to discuss any stressors since the last session, which was really nice.

 

[ghotiff]

My personal opinion is if your trauma is from childhood there is necessity to discuss week to week issues. For me, the themes my T finds in my weekly gripes are what helps unpick the past and how it has impacted me, not my trauma past, but the issues around the people who knew and chose denial. But I could be way off, and I'm okay to take the slow road.

 

[Suzetig]

In many ways I'm with @ghotiff, it takes time and work. My therapy is a fine balance of week to week stuff and unpicking childhood trauma but with clear links between the week to week stuff and how it ties back. So, we might go for a few weeks looking at trauma and them something happens week to week that I need to deal with. Only you will know if you're using the week to week stuff to avoid dealing with trauma and depending on the type of therapy, your T will work with whatever you bring. So, rather than over thinking things, you may need to decide where you want to start and just see where it leads you.

I dislike homework sheets and specific exercises which is why I don't do CBT

 

[KwanYingirl]

My needs change over time. I have told my therapist that I am avoidant about speaking my truth. We work on the fallout of PTSD-depression, anxiety, fatigue, medication compliance. He teaches me conflict resolution skills, skills to stay grounded, not much sense in diving into memories if all I do is dissociate.
I am making progress. I keep a pad of paper to jot down my day to day symptomsWe have done workbooks (yuk) I get reiki and practice yoga. I consider those as active activities to improve my outlook and ability to navigate life.

 

[shimmerz]

Often I seem to get side tracked on what I'd call external issues (stressors such as work, college and managing my symptoms)

This. When I started being able to see how I could learn to manage here and now properly I had the trust in myself and my therapist to tackle the underlying and core issues.

 

[Ellabella44]

homework, journaling, at this point what we are doing is trying to get me to stay focused. I jump around alot, so right now we are doing self care steps because that has come up as a priority. Telling her the embarassing stuff has come up from being able to post here in anonymous thread. Its also been coming to terms with some things that ive done, admitting having a problem with alchohol and self harm, which could not have come about if I wasnt ready to admit that they were a problem and that I need help.

 

[Elsa23]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think a lot of the problem is that I feel like I'm, treading water and as @Solara said after all this time I feel like I'm just figthing fires. Like I said I can't keep paying for T indefinitely so I need to start feeling like I'm making progress, not just dealing with the present. To be fair I'm probably getting in my own way of making progress though so it's about being more honest about the core issues - I start to go there and then scare myself out of it. I think I managed to say more last week so fingers crossed. Thanks for the help everyone :-)

 

[sun seeker]

Like I said I can't keep paying for T indefinitely so I need to start feeling like I'm making progress, not just dealing with the present.

I know what you mean there. I've sometimes felt like I need two therapists, one to talk about what's happened in the past week and another to actually work on the cause of the problems now! I'm working on refraining from spending the hour talking about the "now" unless it's super urgent, realizing I have friends I can do that with and my time with the therapist is better spent working on the issues that got me into this mess in the first place. Not sure if that helps.

 

[Elsa23]

Thanks @sun seeker it does :-)