Dealing With Realisation That Full Recovery Isn't Coming Quick

[Cool Cat]

My therapist told me today that while going 'deep' in therapy will be the key to a full, comprehensive and lasting recovery, it isn't safe to force it or go it all at once. He has even gone to say that some of his clients of my age (teens-twenties) even take a few months in and then a few months out of therapy and (by the sounds of things) work on themselves gradually over a few years. This realisation, that I am not going to be good as new in the next few months is quite....overwhelming. Of course, I kinda knew this. But I dunno...

Note.
Why I'm in therapy
Basically because of a lot of c-trauma

Another thing is while he know's I've found comfort in labeling myself, or knowing what I have, he doesn't want me to dwell on it. This is also causing me stress.

 

[seedling]

My therapist always said "you can't legislate when the memories are ready to come up for processing." He was very patient - in the beginning way more than I was. It is true that it can't be forced.

Even if therapy takes a long time it doesn't mean it will feel like it does now the whole time. You will be busy working on things, realizing things and seeing changes happen. Your life and activities will shift and change as well.

My teenage son was in therapy and my therapist said much the same about it being typical for people that age to come and go from therapy.

Take care :)

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm 33. I've been in therapy for 30 years. Nope, stuff doesn't get fixed quickly.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you expand on the not dwelling bit?

I actually think it is quite healthy for many people to be in and out of therapy. Why? It gives you a chance to put your skills to work. You will be without the safety net of therapy so you learn to cope on your own. I think that this is good once you've learned a number of skills, grounding tools, etc and you aren't highly symptomatic. Of course, if you are dealing with a lot, then therapy is a good thing to have to help you through the tough times. I think it really is a balancing game in which you really need to learn to listen to your own body/mind to figure out what is best for YOU. I actually worry more about the people who are in therapy for a long time without breaks because they are never forced to put those skills that they've learned to the test. Honestly, there IS a huge difference between learning skills in therapy and then being forced to use them on your own. It was hard when I first left therapy, but I know now that being out of therapy was actually the best step that I could have taken at the time. Again, this is your healing, and its important to do things at your pace!

 

[Cool Cat]

Can you expand on the not dwelling bit?

He means me almost identifying as a trauma person

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I so wanted to end therapy quickly and it was so painful for it to go on and on. Nine years of therapy plus tune ups here and there.

I know how discouraging it is to realize that it will take so much longer than you wanted.

It is a journey and you will really change into the real you as you heal and recovery. So many realizations etc. I like me now so much better than I did at the beginning and I do not invite unhealthy people into my life anymore or if I do it unwittingly I quickly distance myself from them.

There is so much growing and maturing that takes place. I wish you the very best.

 

[Nam]

You won't be "good as new". I think this is a lofty and unreachable goal. I remember being very impatient. I wanted to be done in six sessions. Ha! I went for a full year weekly then phased them out after that. I've gone back here and there to make sure I'm on the right track. You can only heal as fast as your body wants to. The only advice I have is to not get in the way.

Maybe now that you know that therapy is open ended with no deadline, you'll feel safe and relaxed enough to get to the real stuff.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

But aren't you a trauma person? I guess I don't see the issue with accepting the truth.

 

[Friday]

LOL... I remember having a very spirited debate over 2 days with the flight surgeon who initially diagnosed me. He was arguing for 6 months of treatment, I was arguing for 2.

Not that I had any basis for my argument, other than wanting my flight status back, like yesterday. He said 6mo, I shot back 2mo, and then stuck to my guns, and then we went rounds for the next couple days. I didn't even know what PTSD was.

15 some odd years later? The whole memory is piss funny.

 

[Tanishq]

it isn't safe to force it or go it all at once.

I agree with this. I have observed this, people who suffering like us do become slower in attaining the healing.

Another thing is while he know's I've found comfort in labeling myself, or knowing what I have, he doesn't want me to dwell on it.

I disagree with this. Thinking on you are finding the comfort zone for yourself can empower you.

Cool cat, may be you need to talk about this with your T and ask him why he thinks not to think on this one? Dwelling on positivity always helps IMO.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I agree with @Solara. If you suffered trauma, you are welcome to identify as a trauma sufferer. I don't think that's rocket surgery. I already hate to acknowledge my problems---and that's without a professional telling me not to dwell on it!

One of the first steps of my recovery plan is to "acknowledge that the trauma was real, important, and undeserved."I believe that some interesting, positive things are going on in myself as I make sense of my reality. As crappy as this time is in my life, I can't discount the fact that I'm learning more about myself than I ever thought I wanted to know.

Obviously you don't want to go around "dwelling" on your diagnosis and letting the thoughts consume you, but it's important to acknowledge your reality and not make light of it.

 

[shimmerz]

Another thing is while he know's I've found comfort in labeling myself, or knowing what I have, he doesn't want me to dwell on it. This is also causing me stress.

I think this depends entirely on whether you use the 'label' to empower yourself or to use it as a crutch. It doesn't sound like you are a 'crutch' kinda person. Just an observation.

15 some odd years later? The whole memory is piss funny.

T says: Complex Chronic PTSD, Somatization Disorder, Conversion Disorder (yadda, yadda, yadda)
Moi: Time frame to be functional again? (Left brain girl in action here)
T says: 10+ years with intensive therapy
Moi: Look T-doc, I am losing a ton of money here because I can't work. I am too busy for this shiest.
T smiles.

lol. lol. lol. No idea how he kept a straight face.