How Do You Describe Ptsd To Others

[joeylittle]

@munkinmama, I think that's a really poor decision on the part of your church. Can you go back to them and say that you have thought it over, and you understand what their challenges are in accepting your service dog, but that you won't be able to attend unless there is some way you and she can be accommodated.

Then, is there anything you can suggest to them that might help? Would being off to the side or to the back address their concerns? Is there a choir loft that goes mostly unused? Would bringing your dog to meet them and observe her behavior alleviate their worries?

(You may have tried all the above, but just in case...)

Remind them that it is a medical condition, and you can probably make an analogy to epilepsy dogs - those dogs can warn someone in advance of a seizure. A panic attack is not a seizure, but comes on like one, without much warning. Your dog is trained to handle that, and the most well-meaning person in the world will never be as attuned to the issue as your dog is trained to be.

(I'm hoping more education will help them understand, as churches should generally be open to supporting their congregants)

 

[Barberian]

Maybe explain that the sevice dog is also necessary for the trip to and from the church, as well as any stops on the way to and from the church. The SD is with you pretty much 24/7/365. Most people experience a dramatic improvement in their conditions wen they have their SD with them. Being isolated from their SD can be so stressful, a panic attack or other unhealthy event can almost be expected.

A SD is trained to sense the medical and/or mental health of their handler and because of their keen senses are far more likely to detect something is wrong and respond far sooner than a fellow human would. Often they can prevent the condition (depending on the condition) from occurring because they alerted the handler of an oncoming event a human would probably not notice until it was to late to prevent. (I hope that made sense,sleep med kickin in. will stop now before I start typing gibberish).

 

[Justmehere]

What is the barrier to getting the required certification?

 

[Jon Decker]

Wow what a great topic! I'm dealing with this right now myself too and specifically with my employees. There are certain things I can't presently do because of my PTSD and because I have not explained this I often get judged because of it. I'm gearing up to discuss my PTSD with some of my employees, and other people in my life and here are some thoughts I have:

• I'm going to discuss this from a place of power, not weakness. A ton of people have PTSD and I'm not embarrassed by it. It's just a truth and I want to make people aware.
• I might tell my employees hey I just want you to be aware I have PTSD and there might be some times when I get uncomfortable with something and need to get some space. I just want you to be aware so you're not surprised.
• My PTSD has actually lead to me having great skills in things I would not have had without PTSD. I have great empathy, compassion and understanding of others. This helps me both personally and professionally.
• I actually think telling those around me will be freeing and motivate me to commit even more to expanding my boundaries.
• Being honest about my PTSD when I have been has been like unlocking the anxiety a bit.

I hope this helps some, and I look forward to hearing back.

 

[munkinmama]

Thank you everyone
The barrier to getting my dog certified is that she is not from an ADI program. I had many barriers looking for a dog Such as I was turned down for not being a veteran or emergency worker and the reason for this is lack of resources .I then was turned down help to train my dog that i opted to train myself because she was not a program dog. My first meeting with the church was brutal and I have been determined to educate. The one leader has a few misunderstandings and is so focused on the certification

 

[darrenS]

In a situation like this i would suggest getting an advocate to speak for you , i have had many people ask me about ptsd and of course i like to educate people in the hope of dispelling any misinformation, but what i have found most times is its a step into a minefield , of course they want to know about ptsd and then of course they want to know how you got it , and thats where the problems start. If i have a situation where i need to explain myself but dont feel safe , i get someone who can advocate for me , it saves me becoming or feeling unsafe

 

[digger]

The barrier to getting my dog certified is that she is not from an ADI program. I had many barriers looking for a dog Such as I was turned down for not being a veteran or emergency worker and the reason for this is lack of resources .I then was turned down help to train my dog that i opted to train myself

Is there a way to get the dog assessed now, based on the training you've done with her, to get the certification?

 

[scout86]

My first meeting with the church was brutal

There's something about that that just doesn't go well with "church", I'm sort of assuming you mean some form of Christian church, but I can't think of a major religion that advocates brutality.

I generally DON'T try to explain PTSD to people, because it seems to be different enough from "most people's" version of reality that I know I won't be able to convey the concept well enough that they get it;

In your case, I'd focus on the fact that it's a mental health diagnosis that affects a person's whole life. That some people cope with it more easily than others. That there are some things, like service animals, that have been shown to be helpful for some people. You're one of those people. You have one of those dogs. The dog is well behaved and is less likely to create a scene than YOU are. (Ok, maybe you don't want to put it quite like that.)

It seems to me that they need to decide whether or not they want to make it possible for you to attend this church. And it seems like any church worthy of the title should WANT you as a member.

BTW, my answer to "How did you get it?" is "Nothing I care to discuss!" I have yet to encounter anyone who wouldn't take that as an answer and drop the subject. Give their imaginations a chance to run wild.

Sounds like a lot of bureaucratic red tape on the certification! That's really too bad. I suppose you've checked out possible "backdoor" ways to gain certification? (Like could you get the dog certified in the US and then get THAT accepted in Canada?)

 

[Nam]

I'm just all kinds of angry for you right now. There's not much I can say that is helpful because I think that is a shitty thing for them to do. Very alienating, and even a bit like a circus show. This event would color how I proceed with the church. Are you sure it's worth it? Maybe a more welcoming church would be better?

Hugs. We support you.

 

[Kefira]

So I can only speak from the perspective of someone in the US and I know many things are going to be different as far as laws go. Not meaning to offend, I'm sure you have the legal stuff down.

Here, churches are one of the few places that can refuse to allow access to service dogs. I assume this is the same there. In the states, places that legally have to provide access are only allowed to ask if it's a service dog and what tasks it does. They aren't legally allowed to ask anything about you or your condition. Since the church is likely exempt, this probably isn't a legal matter, but if there is a similar law there possibly you could use it to indicate that generally you DO have legal protections to prevent them from asking questions as prying as how you got it or even inquiring too deeply after your symptoms etc. Your medical history is private. They don't have any right to require that you discuss it with them.

If you can keep the conversation general about service dog education and or PTSD education and keep some of the focus off of you specifically, that might help a bit. After all, there are many people who suffer and need accommodations and whether they're legally required to provide those accommodations or not, from your description it sounds like they desperately need some education regarding the whole situation.

The dog is well behaved and is less likely to create a scene than YOU are.

I'm going to have to use this for those situations where I'm at the end of my rope. Brilliant and concise.

I second stressing that your SD helps you get safely to and from the establishment as well as allowing you the normative ability to be able to do errands or go immediately from church somewhere else. This isn't just about whether you need your SD in their church, it's about whether you need your SD in general and how much of a disruption it will cause to your life to be denied access.

If all else fails, is there another branch of the church nearby? Perhaps another pastor would be more willing to work with you. If you want to go to this particular one I hear that, and you should be able to, but coming up with some backup options can help create less stress for you too.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm sort of concerned that the church may be digging in their heels. I appreciate that the purpose of this thread is to figure out how to explain PTSD to them and I absolutely love your heart to educate them.

My own service dog isn't formally certified or officially trained. I trained her myself. When she was still in the training phase, still learning to ignore distractions, my church still opened her and me with open arms. They are somewhat already used to guide dogs for the blind, so transitioning to a service dog for another need was no big deal. They opened their arms to me and my dog (who as still very much in training) anyhow. For them, when I explained that PTSD means that I could freak out in public in a panic attack (my words), and not be able to stay in the church service or gathering, and possibly be of concern to other church members, they were concerned. When I explained that the solves that problem, they were on board. They didn't try to come up with their own plan of rescuing me from my PTSD. They then talked about any liabilities or concerns they had about any risks or problems in including a dog. In the US, the laws are different, and people are actually not allowed to even ask what the disability is that the dog is for. The reason is that it can turn into a lot of people needing to explain disabilities and running into ignorance of disabilities like you are facing.

But, it might be good to understand more about concerns they have. Once you know that, I think you can figure out how to respond more.

For my own church, as long as my dog didn't disrupt things or if anyone had an allergy to the dog, and I was willing sit on the other side of the room (which I am of course ok with) they were ok with it. My dog is now kind of the "mascot" as they have told me... They really love her now quite a bit.

This church's attitude towards you really does reflect a lot of lack of education and understanding. It feels like they may also be valuing the status quo and liabilities, trying to avoid being uncomfortable, much more than they are valuing inclusion and loving people just as they are. So frustrating... not what the church should be about...

Meetings about this stuff should never ever be brutal or make anyone walk away feeling like crap. :( :hug:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Uhm, are you sure they don't work for the other side?

It's inappropriate for them to ask you about your past. I stopped saying it's ptsd as 99.9% of people ask "what happened to you?" as if it's perfectly permissible to ask someone you dint know about the details of the very worst moment of your life!