What Do I Do With Doctor Visits.

[Deleted member 28862]

On the topic of doctors, I've spent my time in and out of the emergency room because I have asthma, as a child it was horrible. I would visit the emergency room probably 6 times a year for an asthma attack alone. But now, after the rape,emotional and physical abuse, I am disgusted at the thought of being touched by a person. So being ball naked in front of a stranger, man or woman Is out of the question.

My coworker has called me stupid -she literally called me stupid- for not wanting to go to the doctor. I am 20 and she said I should be seeing a gynecologist at least once a year, I have never seen one. The thought of ANYONE being down that causes an anxiety attack. The thought of someone seeing my naked causes an anxiety attack, and I always feel like throwing up in the waiting room.

I have horrible allergies and I am allergic to a lot of stuff, cocoa butter lotion is one of them, I go an allergic reaction to it when I was 14 and went to the doctor, I told him my symptoms but he needed to see me body to tell me what was wrong. I....naked under a hospital gown would be observed by a male doctor and my father (to whom has a lot to do with my emotional and mental abuse). Because I didn't want to show the doctor my image, my father took it upon himself to get upset over it. I had the hives. When we reached home my father began to tell the story of our visit, he laughed at the fact that I was extremely uncomfortable being naked in front of two men.

I don't just "shy away" from clinics, hospitals or anything of the sort. I do my dam best to STAY AWAY from them, I eat my viggies, exercise to keep my health going well, but I know I cant avoid them for the rest of my life, you can bet your last dollar that I'll try.

So what do I do when it comes to getting check ups, exams and other things. For every time I see a doctor I come back with another thing physically wrong with me; asthma,scoliosis, encopresis,anemia and a mile long list of things I'm allergic to that seems to grow every year.

 

[Joan]

I am so sorry for the insensitivity of your coworker. That is someone who does not even try to understand and not worth your time trying to explain. Kind of odd that this arose today as I sit here knowing I need to call dr. office as they will not refill thyroid meds if I do not get level checked. I so understand the anxiety!!! I am blessed with a Nurse Practitioner who does not know my story, but knows there is one. A couple of years ago (I have not been since) I had to have a physical before entering residential treatment. She went through a checklist of what she would normally do and gave me the option of what I could do and what I could not...I said no to anything gynecological, no to mammogram....you are not stupid, not crazy...it is a legitimate fear. would it help for someone to go with you? Female vs male dr? Don't really have the answers, just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this,

 

[Changing4Best]

My doctor sees me with my cloths on unless I need to be examined in a private place. If I need to take my cloths off, I ask for a gown. My Dr. knows I am PTSD and is very polite and understanding about my wanting to be clothed or covered in some way. I get a woman to do my gynecologist pap smear and exam. I know you said that you don't feel comfortable with either a man or a women, but I find I can much better deal with a woman than a man looking at me there. I always choose women as my Drs. for whatever needs to be done, and that does seem to help me to deal with all of this stuff a lot better. I hope this helps you.

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@Joan, either one doesn't help, I'd be uncomfortable regardless. But that's great that you have doctors like that

@SheilaKathy it's always strange dealing with those things here, because in the Bahamas, mental illness is still taboo, it's ruled out as bad behaviour or that person is just having a bad day, mental illness is never an option. And because the doctors are Bahamian as well they have this mindset. The Bahamas is still getting use to children with mental retardation and even then a lot of the people say "that child is just acting out" "he she needs to do better"

So to go to my doctor and say "hey so, I was raped a lot and now I have a phobia of men and ptsd, can I get a female doctor" I'm gonna be looked at as if I'm stupid and also ridiculed because I'm specifically asking for a female doctor (in which we are in dire lack of)

 

[Deleted member 28986]

You're anything but stupid for not wanting to go to the doctor after your experiences. I'm so sorry.

I'm glad you're taking steps to take care of your health, and a big high five for exercising. You're right, though, that you need to eventually see doctors to take care of yourself. Maybe this is something you could discuss with your therapist, because unchecked it will damage your health. Do you have a therapist? Maybe there aren't many therapists in your country. I ask because this has got to be such a strong phobia that I don't know how much self-help can actually help.

Remember that YOU set boundaries for yourself. A month ago I got real bad vibes from a doctor (I think his behavior was very narcissistic) and set a boundary that I would not see him again. If it was worse I could have walked right out. You are an adult with the ability to exit unpleasant situations, and when you DO see a doctor, it will be on YOUR terms—not forced. YOU "employ" your doctors. YOU are the customer. When YOU are not happy with a doctor, you fire them. You don't owe them anything.

Also, I know your aversion to doctors must be really complex, and I hope my words don't appear to minimize your very real issue. Definitely talk with a mental-health professional if you can.

I have been to the Bahamas briefly. It's hard for me to imagine being ridiculed for wanting a female doctor. I know it must feel that way but I guarantee you won't be the first patient to need a female doctor.

naked under a hospital gown would be observed by a male doctor and my father (to whom has a lot to do with my emotional and mental abuse)

Wow this hit home for me. My so-called mother insisted on watching me during some doctors' visits and it was ****ing creepy. At the time I was unaware that she sexually abused me as an infant. Some of the doctor visits she hovered around for were actually for damage relating to that abuse. *shudder*.

I feel so much anger toward your father for doing what he did. I'm sorry.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

@Esha242 - this really hits home for us, too. In our situation, BOTH of us have dr. issues. Having a female dr. DEFINITELY helps me - and as I wasn't sexually active most of my adult life, I didn't "need" to go for a full on pelvic exam for a long stretch (like 15 years!), so that helped me a lot; I don't know if that might be helpful information? For my man, he's gotten to the point where he's able to tolerate the exam(s) if he MUST, but we are VERY careful about choosing WHEN he "must." The trauma for him has more to do with feeling stressed in the conversation with a dr. he perceives might not be listening or taking him seriously, and he'll "click out" into his "grumpy" mood, and that almost always ends with lots of swearing and screaming the dr. for his/her incompetence, and my man recovering in bed from the emotional stress for days after .. AND often with no medical solution for the reason he went in the first place. This frustrates him to no end! So we work very hard to take care of the essentials on our own, and leave the dr.'s for real emergencies. For me, that will become an issue if we ever have a baby, cuz I know that's gonna be a very difficult time. I have my own version of a "click out" and I get very stoic - like Spock/Vulcan stoic. At least this allows me to handle the trigger with some rationality, but I have to make sure I write everything down or I won't remember the proper procedures for whatever is the treatment. (oops!) .. Add to that money issues or lack of insurance coverage and all the stress of managing these pieces, it can be a real recipe for emotional disaster ... I don't know if this sparks any ideas or directions of investigation for you, but that's a peek at our story.

I don't have any "advice", then, but I ditto the comments by @The One Who Knocks ..

Maybe this is something you could discuss with your therapist, because unchecked it will damage your health.

and ...

You are an adult with the ability to exit unpleasant situations, and when you DO see a doctor, it will be on YOUR terms—not forced.

I found this remark very EMPOWERING. :) :)

~S2B

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

PS - @Esha242 - the fact that you have a lack of female dr's might just mean you need to be willing to schedule way in advance. If you're just going for a baseline exam, you could schedule a year out and maybe that would be the only hurdle?

 

[Julesnaz]

I hate hate hate Drs as well and haven't had a full physical in years because I start to feel faint and my doc has to get me an ice pack. I would try and get a female doctor. Asking for one doesn't hurt. As for getting naked, I never do. I'll wear a thin tshirt so they can do what they need. I don't feel it necessary to put on a gown. They know now and don't even bother putting one out for me. Good luck! At least you're not alone in this.

 

[Deleted member 28862]

Thank you guys so much for your wonderful advice

@The One Who Knocks With being ridiculed, you would hear "why do you need to see a female doctor" "what's wrong with so and so that you want only a woman doctor" etc etc. It may be different for other islands, but for Freeport theres a certain stigma.
The one female doctor I do know of gave me pills that sent me to the emergency room, and she has a lot of complaints, so I don't really trust her. I'll have to look around for another one. But I will try and schedule a couple months ahead, I think I should be able to do that. I honestly think there is no therapist here, as a christian nation it's always "do this own your own with faith and God" and that's it. I was so happy to have found this website last year, if I didn't I wouldn't have had the strength to continue living.

@ptsdspouse2b Wow, I don't get angry I just physically sick. I enjoyed your story though, it's another perspective to look at.

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@Julesnaz, It funny that I hate them now but as a kid before the abuse I wanted to be one but know I wouldn't be caught dead near one. But I'll try to ask for a female doctor, hopefully I can use these tips and I won't pass out at my next visit.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I honestly think there is no therapist here

I really feel for you. I don't know this counts as advice, but it'd be really cool if you could find a therapist. It's really important to take care of yourself, and some people would even relocate in order to get proper treatment.

You're right, Google doesn't know much about mental-health services in the Bahamas. I found one website (click here) that has a phone number you could try calling. But with a culture that denies mental illness, it's going to be hard to get help.

In the meantime, maybe the dogs in your avatar can provide a form of "therapy" for you :-).

 

[Deleted member 28862]

@The One Who Knocks Yes my angels provide a lot of help and happiness for me, My little family is what a called them, theres a daddy and mommy and the baby princess :D I love them so much.

Thanks so much for that, I'm going to give that number a called. Hopefully it's still up