I Hate This Symptom!

[sun seeker]

I'm sorry to bother people... and don't even know why I feel that way, I've never started a post like that before.

I am 99.9% certain this problem doesn't have a physical origin and that seeing a doctor about it would either get me ignored or sent home with a prescription for Ativan. I'll do that if it goes on much longer, but I really, really don't want to.

Sometimes my habitual anxiety takes a turn, just to keep things interesting, and instead of getting lightheaded and dizzy and zaps in my stomach, instead it makes it so I can't take a deep breath or catch my breath... like breathing under water. Any noise and bustle going on around me and it gets worse, I need complete calm and quiet to focus all my attention on breathing and then I can manage to get enough air. This has happened once in a while since I was about 13. Makes me want to scream!! I've been like this for two or three days now with breaks, and I can't stand this much longer.

Funny I've been working on body memories a lot and there is this one flashback I keep describing as feeling like I am drowning and wave after wave keep hitting me.

I don't know what I want. I just wish it would go away. Anyone else have this?

 

[macbeth]

i feel something similar in that when I am feeling a lot of anxiety, I cant breathe and I feel like I am choking, which is directly related to my trauma.

I just want you to know that you are certainly not alone in this. :hug:s

 

[Friday]

Try talking. Out loud. Singing is even better.

 

[Neverthesame]

This, yes I totally get this. I know for me it definitely is anxiety. Went to doctor, also had it happen while I was doing the bowel cancer tests. Could see my own vitals on the readout, normal across the board. Doesn't make it any less frightening.

@FridayJones advice is spot on. Singing works, better than Ativan, better than anything else I have tried. Singing makes you slow your breathing, while your conscious mind is distracted with trying to remember the words.

I do recommend seeing a doctor about it, just in case. It will also give you more confidence when trying to convince yourself that your not going to turn blue and pass out.

 

[Powder]

Um, I'm not sure if the reason this happens is from the trauma or the anxiety, but it is a really bad part of the PTSD.

Is singing to prevent or treat? Or both?
Thanks!

 

[Friday]

Is singing to prevent or treat? Or both?
Thanks!

Both.

First off, simple biology, if you can talk? You can breathe. It's a rescue swimmers trick. You get drowned a bunch in that job. Also a fighters trick (choke holds are mostly effective from the fear limited air kicks into place, they rarely cut off the air supply completely. People freak out, so they go down fast. Knees buckle from fear, dizzy from fear... Not low o2. Happens in seconds. When, really, it takes a solid 1-2 minutes to lose motor function if your air is cut. Sarcastic comments while someone's got their arm around your neck cuts off that fear response. It's not about bravado, it's about tranquillo. Staying calm. Cause if you're talking? You're breathing.). You literally have to be moving air in order to talk. That's how talking works; by moving air past your vocal cords.

Secondly... It's triage. If you can count to 10 in a single breath you're moving enough air to keep your blood saturation in the 90s. When my son's asthma is bad... He's a chatty chatty little bird. Who can only say 1 word, gasp, 1 word gasp, 1/2 of a long word gasp. That's not enough air to keep your blood saturation up. Asthmatics need to open their airways. Fear response needs to sloooow everything down. Calm. Relax. 1 gasp 2 gasp 3 gasp 45 gasp 678 gasp 910 gasp 12345 breathe 12345578 breathe. 12345678910 breathe.

Thirdly... It's regulation. Speech requires measured breathing. Singing more so. Fear response triggers shallow breathing. Shallow breathing creates an abundance of CO2, which creates dysregular breathing (Co2 saturation, panting before diving, means you won't have the "breath!" response while swimming. It's very dangerous to do, because you will suck water or pass out -and then suck water- before you have the impulse to breathe. But it's also life saving. Helps you run faster with less oxygen, swim further without breathing. It's useful. Just dangerous underwater, and can make people pass out and bonk their heads on dry land.

Lastly... It's pattern building. You get used to calming yourself down, giving yourself an audio cue that you're okay, and trains your fear response to leave your lungs alone. Over time. All with one action.

It's a cousin to square breathing. 1234 in. 1234hold. 1234 exhale. 1234hold.

 

[Neverthesame]

Ah @FridayJones, thank you. I am stuck at work right now and don't have time to write out the biology for that right now. Awesome Cheers!

 

[Fred Derry]

Try talking. Out loud. Singing is even better.

OMG I thought I was the only one who knew about singing (you guys are scaring me, I've got to get off this site)


FYI, singing very loudly in the car has probably saved my life a time or two.

 

[sun seeker]

Well that was interesting.

I tried singing (thanks - I never would have thought of that!) and it was going fine until I couldn't think of anything to sing, got out a song book for ideas, and started to sing a song that reminded me of my dad. Immediate shutdown until I tried a different song. Even better was roaring and punching an armchair - deep exhaling. Only now I have a sore throat, so more singing is out. And the body memories are intense. The one time I had this problem bad enough to be taken to the ER I was about 13 and it had to do with NOT wanting to be around my dad. Having all these physical reactions without a story to go with them is driving me nuts.

@FridayJones, I'm not sure if I understand this part:

Asthmatics need to open their airways. Fear response needs to sloooow everything down.

So what I'm feeling when this happens is that my airway is constricted and also that there is something pressing down very hard on my chest. I can inhale, but it's a lot of work, as if I were fighting against a very heavy weight pressing on my lungs. It takes getting very calm and focused and in exactly the right position to get a satisfying breath. So it kind of feels like both of the above at the same time. Any ideas on that?

@Neverthesame, I'm not worried about turning blue and passing out, because this has happened so many times before. It doesn't scare me, it's just very, very annoying.

Thank you for the help everyone!

 

[Powder]

The pressure on the chest is a feeling that for me goes with the emotion of not taking action, not feeling like taking action would help; action would make it worse, so you feel compressed in dread. It feels like someone's pushing down and into the chest wall, thus preventing a deep breath. It feels like a huge burden. You feel like "dead weight" to yourself or whomever you are trying to save.

Before I get rid of it, I need to deeply connect to it and take away further self-understanding and compassion. I recommend you say to yourself "I'm sorry you had to go through that," right after outlining the feeling. This comforts my inner child and makes me feel self-validated and supported. Sometimes, it goes further if you give yourself a hug or hold a teddy bear, whatever brings up a positive from the past.

 

[Neverthesame]

I can't say for certain whether it is physical or psychosomatic. I just know that either way, you are not actually in any physical risk of asphyxiation from anxiety induced shortness of breath.

What I can definitely suggest, which is I do all the time, even at work. (I swear this is the only way I can keep getting through each day). I have an old broken pair of ear bud headphones. I cut one of the ear buds off, set my phone to mono sound and play music quietly in one ear. Makes my repertoire of songs quite a bit larger.

 

[Fred Derry]

What I can definitely suggest, which is I do all the time, even at work. (I swear this is the only way I can keep getting through each day). I have an old broken pair of ear bud headphones. I cut one of the ear buds off, set my phone to mono sound and play music quietly in one ear.

Thank you for reminding me of this. I tried it last year for a few week or two and it seemed to work. Circumstances changed and I forgot all about it. I needed to read this tonight. Thanks again.