Just to clarify about the victim triangle, I was trying to point out the over-reaction part of things. There are absolutely problems that happen in life, and a normal reaction within the roles of victim, persecutor, or rescuer are totally valid in those situations.
The distortion comes in when there's an over-reaction, that is way more than a normal reaction, and often triggers instinctual survival mechanisms. That's when people often dramatize, project, blame, and over-focus on the recent trigger. It's very easy to get caught up with the recent triggering event, and totally overlook and miss that a big part of the over-reaction and anxiety/fear/panic feelings are from past memories.
For the role of rescuer, TED* suggests moving towards coach. What can happen is that people can get stuck as a rescuer, or seeking symbolic rescuers (escape). This starts becoming counterproductive when the goal is more about distraction, which can lead to habitual avoidance, which in the short term prevents feelings of powerlessness, but long term reinforces weakness because of lack of exposure to the essential nature of existence: being a limited, mortal, vulnerable human being.
Absolutely there is a valid need and time to retreat from life, and seek safety, support, and comfort. I'm just talking about the risks of over-doing it or situations of self-fulfilling prophecies. Retreats can be highly useful and productive periods, but should they be permanent ways of living, or temporary?
David Emerald describing rescuer role moving towards coach role:
The Drama Triangle is directed towards a general audience, so it's going to need some tweaks for PTSD. But I think it can be highly useful for relationships, relating to emotions, relating to experience, relating to other people, relating to yourself, relating to your past, relating to the world, etc.
The distortion comes in when there's an over-reaction, that is way more than a normal reaction, and often triggers instinctual survival mechanisms. That's when people often dramatize, project, blame, and over-focus on the recent trigger. It's very easy to get caught up with the recent triggering event, and totally overlook and miss that a big part of the over-reaction and anxiety/fear/panic feelings are from past memories.
For the role of rescuer, TED* suggests moving towards coach. What can happen is that people can get stuck as a rescuer, or seeking symbolic rescuers (escape). This starts becoming counterproductive when the goal is more about distraction, which can lead to habitual avoidance, which in the short term prevents feelings of powerlessness, but long term reinforces weakness because of lack of exposure to the essential nature of existence: being a limited, mortal, vulnerable human being.
Absolutely there is a valid need and time to retreat from life, and seek safety, support, and comfort. I'm just talking about the risks of over-doing it or situations of self-fulfilling prophecies. Retreats can be highly useful and productive periods, but should they be permanent ways of living, or temporary?
David Emerald describing rescuer role moving towards coach role:
