Psychiatrist Insensitive Or I'm Being Sensitive?

[Pinkplatypus]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right category.
I was triggered 2 months back and got reminded of a rough period of time when I was 10. I started having very bad nightmares and I couldnt sleep. So I went to see my college's counsellor and he referred me to the school's psychiatrist to help with insomnia.

I thought that I was merely going to see the psychiatrist with the insomnia, but of course he started asking me about what caused the insomnia etc and my school counsellor also left him a note generally describing the incident when I was 10.

The thing that made me feel so uncomfortable was him questioning me with a smile. Plus my doc's a guy and someone about my father's age. Super uncomfortable. Because my incident involved another boy who was just about a year or two older than me, the doc was rather skeptical. I'm not sure if it's me being sensitive or him being insensitive.

He asked me "so you THINK you got raped?" a few times, with emphasis on the think.
I think it's the whole tone too. And he asked me questions like "He was so young, how did he know all that stuff?". (I'm not sure if there's a generation gap here, but kids now have a lot of access to porn) And a few other questions that made me feel like he questioned my memories or authenticity of it. Like, "How can he have done it if..."

I mean I'm getting nightmares about it and I'm sure of what happened. Not entirely, but I'm clear about the important parts. It's not some recovered memory. It's been there all my life. And If it were a one off, I can doubt my memory. but it happened repeatedly, I'm sure I was not mistaken.
He asked other questions like, was it painful? did he ejaculate? I guess all these were normal questions, so I was fine with these, but the previous questions I was more irritated with.
Another question I cant place is "did you like it?"

I think I'm just frustrated because it took a lot for me to get help after about a decade since it happened. I've always tried pretending it didnt happen and this is the first time I'm telling someone. So I'm not very sure. Is this procedure?

I got my meds for the sleep and I guess that's what matters. But now I'm super reluctant to go for counselling because I dont want to be in that uncomfortable situation again.

Sorry for the long rant. Am I being too sensitive or ?
How did your doc respond when you disclosed it to them for the first time?

(And no, I can't change psychiatrists because they're assigned to you)

 

[Senecia]

Okay, i did not get that response when I talked to professionals. Since you asked, I think thats creepy too. I don't like it. Its more like "what was your trauma" and "when did it happen"... At least in my experience. Not "did he ejaculate?"
Can you find a different one? It would make you feel better, from what you said.

 

[ihateusernames]

He asked me "so you THINK you got raped?" a few times, with emphasis on the think.

I can kind of justify this part- maybe you presented it in a non-committal fashion without even realizing it and he was trying to get you to acknowledge it outright.

The other questions, though. Did he ejaculate? Did you like it? Yeah, they strike me as creepy, too. Even more than insensitive.

 

[Pinkplatypus]

I can kind of justify this part- maybe you presented it in a non-committal fashion without even realizing it and he was trying to get you to acknowledge it outright.

Yea, okay, then that I can accept because he started with asking me if the guy just touched me or did he hurt me too in any other way and I just nodded and didnt say it out loud. Later he rephrased it and asked if he had sex with me. Then I nodded. Then he started the whole, so you think you got raped thing.

 

[Intrepid]

He asked me "so you THINK you got raped?" a few times, with emphasis on the think.

I find that interesting too. I have had to justify, really almost defend, the truth of my experience to my therapist over and over. I don't think she was questioning the experience, when she would word things like that. She just wanted me to be clear. And oh, so unclear I was for years.

It's okay to ask back: "So what do YOU think?" The psychiatrist's answer may be clarifying as to his or her intent.

 

[Tanishq]

@Pinkplatypus That sounds incredibly uncomfortable, I can see why you feel uncomfortable with this all.

 

[Queen Boudica]

The "did you like it" question is totally wrong and I would not go to see him again. I don't see the relevance of 1st World in this at all. She is seeing a psychiatrist.

You are right to be suspicious and he should not have treated you that way. He is not a policeman. And he shouldn't be trying to get information out of you like that. "Did he ejaculate" I don't think is an appropriate question for a psychiatrist. He should let you describe what happened without prompting, in my opinion and this guy sounds totally inappropriate.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Many of the things he said to you sound strange, but the " did you like it" part is absolutely not acceptable.
I'm wondering who he bribed to get himself the psychiatrist title.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I hope you'll soon find a real professional who will help you process what happened to you.

Welcome to the forum and :hug:s if you accept them.

 

[Neverthesame]

Umm. I don't think you are being overly sensitive. That would have creeped me out so badly.

I know that you said you can't see a different one, but I still have to say, if at all possible, try.

 

[Pinkplatypus]

Thanks all for answering this question ans welcoming me :D (I have no idea how to put an emoticon). It makes me feel less crazy and that I'm overly paranoid.
I'm living in a first world country, but sometimes I feel like we have very backward concepts when it comes to mental health (though it's getting better). I.e the mental health institute doesnt include statistics for PTSD because "there is no war in this country" <- get what I mean. But it's improving.

I don't have much of a choice whether I see him again because they give you the same psychiatrist every visit and anywhere outside of the university will just be super expensive. We pay about 10% (so I've heard) of the price others pay outside for the same medication. He's not going to be the one doing the counselling ...only meds, but still, it was quite a bad experience for me.

He's supposedly super experienced and good. Maybe it was just me not able to tell the story very well since I was very nervous and kept smiling (stupid things I do when I'm nervous) and wasnt really saying much to move the conversation along. just a lot of "errr... then... ya" <- which isnt much of a story.
I'm not even sure if knowing the entire story is important for him to treat me and I wasnt very motivated/comfortable to tell him the entire story at all.

Really heartfelt thanks guys. I held it together all the way until I left the clinic and then I was in a mess. ): Maybe i'll have the story in my mind before I meet the next person I have to tell again.

 

[Neverthesame]

Oh, a quick Google search later, Singapore. I don't think it's a terribly "backwards" country.

Actually, I am a bit grateful. I never thought to read about Singapore before now. What a lovely culture.
Sorry. to stay on topic.

Is it possible for you to seek a different psychiatrist through a different source? From a local hospitals non emergency outpatient services perhaps?

 

[Tanishq]

You are right to be suspicious and he should not have treated you that way. He is not a policeman.

This is what I felt. That pysch. is doing something he shouldn't be.

What is this called, being unprofessional or crossing his lines?

I have no idea how to put an emoticon

A link for you. It is about smiley codes.

https://www.myptsd.com/help/smilies

If you haven't seen the new member guide page. I recommend you to see the video in that section. It shows how this forum works and when in doubt, we go to help desk to get an answer about how this forum works or any questions regarding this forum.

Maybe it was just me not able to tell the story very well since I was very nervous and kept smiling

One last thing I would like to tell you is, if someone treats you bad then it is bad. Don't take their blame on yourself. PTSD needs to be taken seriously, if they are not helping you, then it is not considered as help. It is their responsibility to help you to build coping skills.

Glad to see we are being helpful here. :)