Is It Really Ok In Western Societies To Be Mentally Ill???

[MT Johnny]

I know, broken record.

Sorry - having a shitty day watching my boy -well, like a son to me but not genetically related, hover near death, and even if there is a reprieve right now, it is terminal as it is widely metastasized Cancer beyond any combination of treatments to help - just palliative care. That darkens my mood, but I know death is a part of life.

While I should feel sorry for him, my thoughts turn to my own situation.

I've fought the concept of "being crazy" for 2 years and 8 months - and no amount of attempting to not be, feel, do, or act crazy actually does any of that. Granted, I can project sane really well, someone not knowing would not know if I put on my game face.

I surrender. It wins. I'm crazy. Cra-cra. Looney tunes. Whatever you wanna call it.

Now what?

When I was told I was crazy in 2012, my instant reaction was "that's it, I'm a walking dead man, American society in all aspects does NOT tolerate the mentally ill."

I envisioned all kinds of nightmare scenarios that all ended with my disgrace and death - from being homeless to being locked up.

I also knew that various things protect people, from ADA to HIPPA, but I thought "not me, I am a special case".

I have functioned for all of that time, not always well, but I've functioned and fought off the Wolves at the door in my key areas of career, home, family, freedom/civil rights.

That appears to be the objective, empirically measurable reality for most people with PTSD - they struggle, but ultimately they look like the rest of society in those ways.

Please tell me they is true, that no one can "take it away from me" unless I let them.

And, tell me I will be ok if I reframe my viewpoint of mental healthcare from "a form of criminal justice that punishes people for being sick" to "healthcare for the mind just like cardiology is healthcare for the heart or orthopedics is healthcare for the bones."

 

[Kintsugi]

I think it depends on what your diagnosis is and what it entails.

It's okay to joke that someone is bipolar, but it seems unacceptable to actually be bipolar and experiencing psychosis (societally).

It's okay to be OCD, as long as your rituals don't "look crazy."

It's okay to have ADD or ADHD... Mostly, I think, because people think those are fake new-fangled fabrications.

Is it okay to have PTSD? I have found you really need to be in the right company. The media isn't helping at all. People with PTSD are increasingly painted as time bombs liable to hurt the innocent, healthy public at any moment.

JMHO from my experience in the whole of the eastern US.

 

[Friday]

It's not a crime to think. It's a crime to act.

As to whether or not anything is okay, that depends on who you're with. You're always wih yourself. So that's the person it matters most to be on-side.

 

[shimmerz]

I am not certain if you are ready to make the change. I would wait, if I were you, to really 'feel' it in your gut. You know, that you are comfortable with your own stance. That way, if people challenge you on it, make an issue of it, well, you are able to stand up to whatever the reaction may be.

The thing is, in this society, if we are 'different', it is just one more thing to be 'picked on' and if you aren't settled with it then you may have some internal issues. Have you a therapist you can talk this out with Johnny?

 

[Friday]

Just to follow up a bit:

Nothing is okay in Western Society. Not being wealthy. A lot of people despise the wealthy. Not being poor. A lot of people despise being poor. Not being Black, White, Red, pick a skin color. There are not only hate groups who are open about racism, but there are always problems inherent in every state of being.

I'm going to stop there... Although I could go on with religion, sex, sexual identity, physical attributes (tall short fat thin crippled hearing deaf), mental acuity, mental status... You name it, and there are problems inherent with every state of being.

As long as you're looking for external validation that you -as a person- are okay to exist? You're going to get plunged down the rabbit hole on a fairly regular basis. As there are always examples that challenge that.

Being okay with who you are as a person? As long as you hinge it on other people being okay with you, instead of your own value and self worth... Will be subject to the whims of location. Who you happen to be with at that moment.

But once you inject self worth not tied to other people's opinions? Then, yes. It's okay to be whomever you are... Even if you're black at a KKK meeting. And even if you're the guest of honor at an awards ceremony. Neither tell you who you are. They simply tell you who you're with.

So... YES. It's true that no one can take away your self worth, unless you let them.

 

[anonymous]

Uhm, sorry, but I take offense.....

Its sort of rude to come on here and equate a mental illness with CRAZY. Do you realize you've just insulted every PTSD sufferer on this site and told us that we are crazy?

I honestly do think that its a matter of realizing that mental illness does NOT mean someone is crazy! No wonder you've been in such denial. But I honestly don't think you're in a better place by saying "hey, I'm CRAZY!" when you're not.... You've gone from one lie (nothing is wrong with me!) to another lie (I am CRAZY!) I think its time for reality to set in....You have PTSD which yes, is classified by a mental illness, but in no way means that someone is "crazy".



On to the title topic.....

No, society is pretty much intolerant of the mentally ill. As long as you can act normally around other people, then you're ok, and you are accepted. But deviate from the norm and you're massacred. It really IS sad!

I can act normal in public much of the time, and because of that, I am OK. But, I do have my moments when I break down and such. People just think its severe anxiety (which is a MILLION times more acceptable than PTSD). But, in terms of relationships and such? People don't understand. People are quite judgmental. You really do have to be careful whom you tell what. You really can't go out and scream from the rooftops "I HAVE PTSD!" and expect the world to embrace you. Its just not going to happen.

 

[StellaBlue]

I don't think the stigma of "mental illness" is confined to Western society. In fact, it may be worse in other societies. But I'm not positive that it's Western society's opinion of mental illness you are struggling with.

Yes, there is stigma attached to mental illness - and PTSD is considered a mental illness. Yes, there is a special flavor of stigma attached to PTSD. Is it "ok" to have a mental illness? I see your struggle here - but it really does become an irrelevant question...it just is. You can call it whatever you want, I suppose, I don't typically label myself as mentally ill. And like you, I am (mostly) highly functioning by the Western culture's definition. Except when I'm not. And it's when I'm not, that things get really bad, really fast...so neither denying it's real or going to the opposite extreme and deciding I'm totally crazy and unable to heal are helpful for me...although I have taken both positions (sometimes simultaneously!) at one time or another.

And this is very wise (hard to follow, but very wise):

As long as you're looking for external validation that you -as a person- are okay to exist? You're going to get plunged down the rabbit hole on a fairly regular basis. As there are always examples that challenge that.

ETA: I think it's ok if you sound like a "broken record". Acceptance and change take time. From what I've seen from you, you are making changes - struggling - but making changes.

 

[scout86]

I get a lecture from my T every time I use the word :"crazy" in that context, in his presence. He says it "lacks specificity" and very much means different things to different people at different times.

So, it's really important to you, what other people think? I have to confess, I've been told I have "a bad attitude" more times than I can count, so maybe I'm not qualified to speak to the topic. But, IMO, the people who judge you that harshly aren't worth worrying about. OK, some of them control your income and things like that. Don't tell THEM, unless you have to.

One thing that's really struck me, since being on this forum is that this bunch of "crazy people" is way more thoughtful, insightful, and kind than a lot of the people I meet elsewhere in the world. Kind of makes it easier to embrace "crazy". I'm not going to say there is no discrimination or negative stereotypes. Of course that exists. But it doesn't have to rule your life. You have the condition you have, whether you acknowledge it or not. I don't see much to be gained by denial.

Sorry about your boy! That's rough. It may be part of life, but it's not a great part of it. While it's hard for you, I'm sure it's a blessing for him that you're in his life.

 

[BlueOrange]

And, tell me I will be ok if I reframe my viewpoint of mental healthcare from "a form of criminal justice that punishes people for being sick" to "healthcare for the mind just like cardiology is healthcare for the heart or orthopedics is healthcare for the bones."

It is WAY better than it was 10 years ago. Which is WAY better than it was in the 90s. Which is WAY better than it was in the 80s.

It's not easy, but it's completely OK in many parts of Western society, and the parts where it's OK are growing all the time.

 

[joeylittle]

@MT Johnny - please, just start applying some choice-making when it comes to your language around the issue. If there are only 2 options - crazy vs not-crazy - you are, frankly, never going to get anywhere. Look: you don't even have to believe it. Just cut "crazy" out of your vocabulary.

So black-and-white, distortion central.

Is "society" OK with it? Who the f*ck cares, really? You talk about all of this like you are going to get completely ostracized.

Society is not OK with much except status quo. Status quo changes slowly.

But maybe perspective would help? It's dangerous to be black in America. It's dangerous to be gay in America.

And yes, it can be dangerous to be mentally ill if you are non compos mentis.

That's not your illness, @MT Johnny

I think you might be waiting for it to feel OK to say it. But sometimes, new things are just really uncomfortable for a while - and the thing to do is keep working through the discomfort til you find its not so terrifying anymore.

But seriously: try to change your language. And I agree with Anonymous in many ways - try and at least have some consideration.

It's like going on a developmental delays forum and saying "OK, I admit it, my kid is a retard. A spazzy retard."

I hate to be so crass - but can you see the problem? Or appreciate how it's not acceptance, it's deflection, in a passive kind of way?

 

[hodge]

I work really hard in social situations to not present myself as someone suffering from PTSD. I think it depends on your social circle. I am lucky to have many friends who don't have PTSD who are understanding that I do. I've been open about it in FB, posting helpful info and urging people to get counseling if they ever go through a traumatic event. I also felt like outing myself because I am so sick of the media portraying everyone with PTSD as a bomb waiting to go off. I am not encouraging you to go out and do this. You have to be so ready! I live in rural America and I've been pleasantly surprised by how many understanding people I know around here. Of course, though, I think it also helps that most of these people knew me before I came down with PTSD, I had delayed onset.

 

[BlueOrange]

Regarding the word 'crazy' - I don't fear mental illness, but I do fear 'being crazy'. To take the physical disability metaphor, I think it would be legit for someone with a developmental disorder to say "I feel like I'm a spazzy retard" - it's not a nice word, but it's also not a nice way to feel.

There have been times when I was crazy: when I screamed at people in public, launched my body into walls, and was generally the kind of idiot that the public fears and hates. (Not without reason, when I think about it.) For much more of my life, I've been scared of being seen as crazy.

Craziness, fear of it, dealing with feeling crazy - my belief is that these are important and on-topic. It's a word that's profoundly linked to stigmatization, and it's a thread about stigmatization.

I'm happy to discuss it further.