Have You Ever Looked Up Your T On Facebook?

[CantSetUpAnAccount]

I'm terrible for being nosy.

I'm not gonna lie, when I started seeing my current T for childhood trauma I googled him, looked him up on LinkedIn, Twitter AND Facebook. I knew it was a wrong thing to be doing but I couldnt help myself. I was MORTIFIED when I learned that Linkedin tells you who has looked at your profile, and I looked at his with my privacy setting on default (he never mentioned it although his account didnt seem active)

There were no major surprises tbh on any profile. Only one was I learned he is in a long term relationship, which to some extent granted me a bit of hope because he has trauma experience (he hasnt given any details of what it is, only that he has experienced trauma) so it makes me feel hopeful that I may have a long term relationship with someone sometime.

But I felt really...like I crossed a boundary spying on him.

I'd love to know what your experiences have been, or even if what I did was rare or common. I am UK based and I am 19.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I do the same thing. Usually I am looking for something they published
Nothing is wrong with checking his background. You're doing your due diligence!

 

[desiderata310]

I have *ahem* trust issues. I thoroughly investigated my therapist. I found him on linkedin, found the number to his license, went through to see if there were any reports of misconduct, looked at what information I could find about where he went to school, and yes, with the help of google, I even found him on facebook, and you bet I looked at everything that facebook would allow.

And what's more, I told him I did it after I was somewhat satisfied that he was at least safe-ish

 

[mrsps]

yes I have done this, I google their name to find out anything I can about them ....... I thought it was just me! I always feel terrible when I look up stuff like this. I look at their facebook pages and get annoyed that they have everything set to private lol

 

[ihateusernames]

found the number to his license, went through to see if there were any reports of misconduct, looked at what information I could find about where he went to school

^I do this with any health care provider I see. I also check linkedin profiles, google pages and reviews, etc. for people and companies I apply for and interview with, do business with, etc.

I see nothing wrong with looking at the publicly available information. You would be crossing the line if you tried to hack into his accounts or sent him friend invites pretending to be somebody else. What you have accessed is what he has allowed you to have access to. Don't worry about it.

 

[Friday]

I don't see accessing readily available public information as spying. Nor verifying their credentials (education & certs). Nor reading their published journals, articles, and studies they've authored or co-authored; or symposiums they've spoken at, workshops, etc. That's simply due diligence.

Spying is accessing private information. Not the information that a professional puts out into the world on purpose.

 

[finding_my_way]

I do this, too. My T is private, but I still found some of her facebook page, her wedding announcement, her parents' obituaries, her sister's info, info about her dead brother, an article about her dad's death, and even her home address including photos, the sale price, taxes, HOA fees, etc. from the listing. I am nosy, but I like to know who she is. It helps me trust her and, by telling her what I found, she opened up more to me.

 

[mrsps]

by telling her what I found

Im curious how you brought this up with her? I am way to embarrassed to bring it up with my T as I feel really bad about searching for her

 

[falling_wave]

I wouldn't look at social media accounts because I do feel like it's a boundary crossing. I did google my T though for two reasons. One I wanted to find other people's ratings and experiences working with her so I can compare my own experience. The other was I wanted to find her picture because it made me miss her less through the week. I actually found out more from her therapy listing page than from anywhere else and that's somewhere I'm expected to look! My experience is so good I don't want to do anything to mess it up for myself.

 

[jaccat]

I googled mine to find out what she specialised in, and found her homepage. I see her through a second provider. It was mostly stuff she had told me in the first session, but I was so nervous at the time I hadn't taken much of it in. My therapist has told me she doesn't use Facebook. I did get a bit freaked out when I saw images of her come up on Google where she looked very different to she does now.

I would imagine most therapists are clued in enough to realise that a lot of their clients are going to go look them up. 1 it's just part of life nowadays, 2. If your dealing with a lot of individuals with trust issues you're going to pretty dumb to think they won't!

 

[CantSetUpAnAccount]

How do T's react?

I would love to tell mine but it just feels so like i crossed a boundary and so taboo. Do T's know we do this? Or at least do T's know we ALL seem to do this?

 

[desiderata310]

He was unphased. He said he understood.

He also knows that I drive by the office every time I go out. He told me it was a safety thing. I was trying to establish that as a safe place. He kind of laughs at it- not unkindly but to let me know it's ok. And tells me it's ok to wave when I see him when I pass.

I'm working on it.