my name is Jackie, I'm 35 yrs old, I have a daughter who is 16 yrs old and a son that just turned 15 who has ADHD and early onset bipolar disorder. I had them both very young, with a man who is abusive, in every way possible, and controlling, possessive, the whole nine, I'm certain he also has bipolar disorder or something else but there's definitely something wrong with him. When my son was only a few months old, I left their "father" because
I grew up in a house where there was domestic violence and I didn't want to put my kids through that. Their father got arrested for selling crack cocaine to an undercover police officer and pled guilty and received 10 years, no parole or probation. He went to prison a month after my son turned one and somehow managed to get out when my son was in kindergarten and it's been nothing but hell since! Shortly after he got out of prison I moved an hour away. He would ask to see our kids for a weekend and I would allow it but I had never went to the courts for custody and one weekend him and his girlfriend picked up my kids and when it was time for them to bring them back, he told me on the phone that if I wanted them then I needed to come get them myself. So I petitioned the courts for custody and won full sole custody, visitation at my discretion. I gave him two years to get himself together and start helping me with our kids, he didn't want to give me money or buy his kids anything so I took him to court for child support and he was ordered to pay $50.00 a week for both kids! That was in 2007 and I just started getting a check this year!
He has verbally and physically abused my kids, at first I let them decide whether or not to see him (he had another child with his current gf and she is now seven) they wanted to go see everyone on his side but that meant having to see him too. For a few years, he was in and out of our lives, he would only call every couple of months wanting to see them. It's a constant battle with him, he loves his kids but treats them like garbage, he yells and screams, at everyone, harassing and threatening me and my boyfriend, who has never said one word to him! It has gotten so bad when my daughter was 13 she tried to commit suicide and was rushed to the hospital, she sliced her wrist really bad and she was committed for almost a week.
The biggest issue was her father and medical professionals told me not to allow them to go see him until he got help for himself. So for two years they didn't see him or anyone on his side, including their little sister. During that time, him, his gf and their daughter moved 12 hours away. He started to see a psychiatrist, he was taking medications and he finally got a job and his own place (he lived in his mother's basement for eight years, not working) I always kept in touch with his gf, I liked and trusted her with my kids. About five years ago, I found out that I have an autoimmune disease and it's turned my life upside down! I can no longer work, I'm sick all the time, it takes everything I have to take care of my family and house. this has affected everyone around me, especially my kids. So he was better and I was getting worse and after talking and working things out, we went to his new house and we let it all out, we discussed everything and made an agreement, I thought we were in a good place, especially him! He was completely different and saying things I never thought he would say, he seemed to be a new man, we both decided to leave it all in the past and move forward in a positive way. For instance, instead of having screaming matches, we would talk calmly, agree to disagree and compromise. My kids, their entire lives, only wanted to have a dad, one that was loving, understanding and supportive. My daughter was so desperate for that that she decided to move in with him and his gf and her little sister.
I allowed it, she was 15 and we thought he was better and his gf assured me she would be ok. A couple of months after she moved in, he decided to move back to where they lived before (which is only four hours away from me) that is when he went back to his old self. Recently, I had to go get my daughter because he beat her in her face, punched her in the nose and busted it. Now that she is home and safe, she has told me stories that makes my blood boil and had I know, she would have came home a long time ago. Now he is back to calling me and leaving nasty messages, threatening to call cps and this and that, calling me names, screaming and cursing at me. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! ! I already have serious issues with anxiety and panic disorder, I walk around all the time with a huge knot in my stomach!
I have all these health issues, I'm trying to raise my kids (which I have been doing since day one, 16 years and he has done nothing to help but he has done his best to make things worse for us) There have been many times when I could have taken legal measures against him, and probably should have, but I thought it would just make things worse, I didn't want to add more fuel to the fire. At this point I'm done with him, I don't want to ever see or talk to him again and neither do my kids. What should I do to get him to leave us alone? before he takes us back to chaos or before one of us winds back up in the hospital! I'm done letting him get away with treating us like dirt and disrupting our lives? my kids have come to the conclusion that they are better off without him in their lives, they came to that on their own because of him and how he treats them, not because I poisoned their minds against him, which is what he likes to say.I want this to end, we can't take his crap anymore, actually I should have put a stop to it a long time ago! if you were me, what would you do?
I grew up in a house where there was domestic violence and I didn't want to put my kids through that. Their father got arrested for selling crack cocaine to an undercover police officer and pled guilty and received 10 years, no parole or probation. He went to prison a month after my son turned one and somehow managed to get out when my son was in kindergarten and it's been nothing but hell since! Shortly after he got out of prison I moved an hour away. He would ask to see our kids for a weekend and I would allow it but I had never went to the courts for custody and one weekend him and his girlfriend picked up my kids and when it was time for them to bring them back, he told me on the phone that if I wanted them then I needed to come get them myself. So I petitioned the courts for custody and won full sole custody, visitation at my discretion. I gave him two years to get himself together and start helping me with our kids, he didn't want to give me money or buy his kids anything so I took him to court for child support and he was ordered to pay $50.00 a week for both kids! That was in 2007 and I just started getting a check this year!
He has verbally and physically abused my kids, at first I let them decide whether or not to see him (he had another child with his current gf and she is now seven) they wanted to go see everyone on his side but that meant having to see him too. For a few years, he was in and out of our lives, he would only call every couple of months wanting to see them. It's a constant battle with him, he loves his kids but treats them like garbage, he yells and screams, at everyone, harassing and threatening me and my boyfriend, who has never said one word to him! It has gotten so bad when my daughter was 13 she tried to commit suicide and was rushed to the hospital, she sliced her wrist really bad and she was committed for almost a week.
The biggest issue was her father and medical professionals told me not to allow them to go see him until he got help for himself. So for two years they didn't see him or anyone on his side, including their little sister. During that time, him, his gf and their daughter moved 12 hours away. He started to see a psychiatrist, he was taking medications and he finally got a job and his own place (he lived in his mother's basement for eight years, not working) I always kept in touch with his gf, I liked and trusted her with my kids. About five years ago, I found out that I have an autoimmune disease and it's turned my life upside down! I can no longer work, I'm sick all the time, it takes everything I have to take care of my family and house. this has affected everyone around me, especially my kids. So he was better and I was getting worse and after talking and working things out, we went to his new house and we let it all out, we discussed everything and made an agreement, I thought we were in a good place, especially him! He was completely different and saying things I never thought he would say, he seemed to be a new man, we both decided to leave it all in the past and move forward in a positive way. For instance, instead of having screaming matches, we would talk calmly, agree to disagree and compromise. My kids, their entire lives, only wanted to have a dad, one that was loving, understanding and supportive. My daughter was so desperate for that that she decided to move in with him and his gf and her little sister.
I allowed it, she was 15 and we thought he was better and his gf assured me she would be ok. A couple of months after she moved in, he decided to move back to where they lived before (which is only four hours away from me) that is when he went back to his old self. Recently, I had to go get my daughter because he beat her in her face, punched her in the nose and busted it. Now that she is home and safe, she has told me stories that makes my blood boil and had I know, she would have came home a long time ago. Now he is back to calling me and leaving nasty messages, threatening to call cps and this and that, calling me names, screaming and cursing at me. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! ! I already have serious issues with anxiety and panic disorder, I walk around all the time with a huge knot in my stomach!
I have all these health issues, I'm trying to raise my kids (which I have been doing since day one, 16 years and he has done nothing to help but he has done his best to make things worse for us) There have been many times when I could have taken legal measures against him, and probably should have, but I thought it would just make things worse, I didn't want to add more fuel to the fire. At this point I'm done with him, I don't want to ever see or talk to him again and neither do my kids. What should I do to get him to leave us alone? before he takes us back to chaos or before one of us winds back up in the hospital! I'm done letting him get away with treating us like dirt and disrupting our lives? my kids have come to the conclusion that they are better off without him in their lives, they came to that on their own because of him and how he treats them, not because I poisoned their minds against him, which is what he likes to say.I want this to end, we can't take his crap anymore, actually I should have put a stop to it a long time ago! if you were me, what would you do?
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