How Do You Know When You're In Crisis?

[Glara]

Just curious, how long does a crisis last?

 

[Friday]

@Glara... I'm pretty sure that answer is different for everyone. For myself; minutes-hours-months.

 

[Hope4Now]

if the crisis is bad enough, you can be sectioned and have no say in your freedom anymore.

Oh yes. I learned this the hard way...

And you're very right. Get the help before you really need it. Kind of like bringing the right equipment on a wilderness trip. Except, this is the problem for me:

I know a crisis after the fact. Rarely in one. Mostly, I think, because I'm busy. It's only afterwards, once things have calmed down, that I'm able to look back and go "Oh. Well, that was bad, wasn't it?"

:laugh::cry::banghead::banghead::banghead:. This sounds like me. All is rather clear afterward.

Oh, yeah. My childhood? Hmmm. Just recently figured out that was a crisis. OH! Is that why I was cutting in high school? Who knew? :banghead::banghead::banghead:

Just curious, how long does a crisis last?

For me, minutes, hours, or days (although not always 24/7...thank you dissociation :) ). Trouble is when there is more crisis than not crisis...when the balance tips. It is hard for me to know, as Friday notes, until afterward. I look back now at my life and I think, "Oh...I was in crisis for years..." but somehow I just kept going until I couldn't keep going any more.

 

[desiderata310]

For me, minutes, hours, or days (although not always 24/7...thank you dissociation :) ). Trouble is when there is more crisis than not crisis...when the balance tips. It is hard for me to know, as Friday notes, until afterward. I look back now at my life and I think, "Oh...I was in crisis for years..." but somehow I just kept going until I couldn't keep going any more.

Umm.. actually I think that was what prompted my venture into therapy

 

[Hope4Now]

that was what prompted my venture into therapy

Yes, me too. After 18 months of tests for chronic pain, and a tsunami of totally bizarre mindbody symptoms when I started doing massage & energy work, a quite perceptive body worker suggested that perhaps it would be helpful if I consulted with a psychotherapist who specialized in trauma :wideeyed:. Not exactly the path I'd reckoned on traveling, but at least most of my life makes a lot more sense to me now! Sigh.

Somebody should start a thread on how we all found our way into psychotherapy. Maybe I will. Glad you got connected with support, @desiderata310.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

If you have to ask, then you're not in crisis my friend.

 

[Hope4Now]

If you have to ask, then you're not in crisis my friend.

I'm not so sure about this. I think this is really what I was asking...
"crisis" is often defined the way some people here define it...as being in imminent danger of ending one's life. To me, that is always what crisis has meant. So I wait and wait and wait for it to pass. Often it does. Sometimes, it does not. It depends on what kind of dissociation is going on.

When parts inside are warring with one another, and one is never quite sure what actually will happen next, and the chances of self-harm through risky behavior, or active destructiveness are unpredictable--isn't that a crisis? Or I suppose it would be considered an imminent crisis.

Crisis is one of those words like dissociation, maybe. It means so many different things.

I suppose the real question is, "Do I (and when) reach out for help?" That's still something I'm trying to figure out. Because for me it seems that crises--real actual ones--come on hard and fast and very unpredictably. They can then linger, or disappear...depending on what parts are up at any given time. THAT is why I struggle with all this. I do not want to be that needy person who is always whining. I would like to be able to take care of myself.

Sorry for the long response Imok. I suppose that your comment is what my own head says to me all the time. But I'm not sure it is trustworthy.

 

[scout86]

I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple of days. I guess it's one of those cases where the answer is different for different people.
For example, for me, these 2 statements can be mutually exclusive.

when you're in crisis, you KNOW it.

I define a crises when I think of ending my life.

The time I was the closest to really dying, it didn't seem like a crisis at all. Not to me anyway. And, there was no one I had a connection with, at the time, so there was no one to notice what and how I was thinking besides me. I wasn't aware of being depressed, I was just totally fascinated with wondering what it would be like to die, and wanted a way "out" and wondering what it would be like to find one. I experienced it as a kind of cold blooded curiosity that didn't seem like what I usually associate with "crisis". The prospect of "help" being available somewhere outside my own head never occurred to me either.

After? Yeah, then there might be a "Wow, that was a bit scary!" moment. During? During, for me, is really usually an "in the moment" kind of deal where I'm not analyzing things in a way that lets "crisis" register. Lesser, more "normal" crisis like "How am I going to pay the rent tomorrow, when it's due? and I have no money" are different.

I'm not so sure about this. I think this is really what I was asking...

I'm with you on this! I wish I had an answer on "help" and when to ask for it. I tend not to ask. I tend not to realize it's an option. On the rare occasions in the past when I did look for "help" it was nowhere to be found. This us one of the things I appreciate about this site though. There is so much insight at hand here and chances are, on any given day, SOMEONE will be having a good enough day to be able to help.

My thought is that you should ask for help when ever you think it would be useful. It's not likely, really, that someone who tends not to look for help will become too dependent. If it comes to that, I'm pretty sure someone will mention it. For that matter, when and who you ask for help, you could also ask them to tell you when you're getting to be a nuisance.

 

[Tinyflame]

To me 'in crisis' refers to the deterioration or 'crisis point' we are all mostly familiar with with ptsd, where the outcome will end (or not) in an irrevocable manner, there will be no turning back. Do I believe we can be unaware of how bad it is on some level? Absolutely, denial perhaps not the least of it. I agree with @FridayJones , after the fact it's obvious. (I don't acknowledge pain either, but when you faint from it it's harder to ignore for example).

"A" crisis to me is something I cannot bear during, or the fallout from. So my death is not a crisis, but being hospitalized losing my income & home & affecting another as well, well that I couldn't live with.

I do however think there are several ways & actions to be told directly & indirectly "Shut the F*ck Up". The bad thing about asking for help (though you hear it frequently advised) is that if there is nothing even acknowledged it is only invalidating & re-traumatizing to (re)-experience the hopelessness & helplessness & reinforcement of the fact that it's useless, (or 'you' yourself are), whether it be the obvious lack of care or concern of the other, or the lack of any importance of it or me to them (therefore in our minds it can't be a 'crisis', right?), or the message I am worthless or a 'nuisance' as @scout said. (After all, what is glaringly obvious & beyond triggering is that the common denominator of the experiences in childhood, then adulthood, is 'me'.) So the conclusion naturally follows (from the same experience), obviously 'it' is not a crisis, or something that should be considered one. Or simply 'matters' at all. Or that your basic existence as just a human being matters at all. So hey, nothing that impacts on yourself is really a crisis then.

However, I do think that if you have people that love or care for or support you @Hope4Now you should believe in that & take your concerns seriously.

Best wishes, xox. :hug: :hug:

 

[Deleted member 29899]

To me 'in crisis' means when I'm thinking to myself 'oh god I need help! Or - I'm going crazy! Or- I'm terrified, Or- suicidal.

 

[Friday]

@imok <grin> Different definitions! To me, that's ideation or struggling. Which is pretty par for course for me when I'm doing badly. When I'm in crisis is the moment I've committed and am acting, no longer fighting against it... Until self control returns.

ETA: I think part of it too, is that up until I'm in crisis? I'm able to manage myself. Maybe not well, but the capability is there. Once I'm off the rails? :rolleyes: Even if I were capable, I have absolutely no desire to. I'm done. Finis. Screw it. Slipped my leash & totally out of hand. It takes someone else. Not wanted, but needed. ((To date; That's one of my tells. As long as I may want help? I'm okay. Struggling, maybe, but okay. When I'd fight off help with a 2x4? :whistling: I'm already gone. It really would have to be imposed on me. Which I know, because I've never allowed that to happen. When I'm in crisis, the last thing I want is help. I'm busy doing the exact opposite.))

 

[Weemie]

crisis is lines. when i'm psychotic, when reality bends. when situations bend, when upheaval occurs. lost job, lost apartment, lost lives. loss, momentum. switching. harm. when you're hitting the ground running, when some guy's right across from you. when you can't stop to think, when your brain is switched on and you're amped up and feelings white out. when nihilism creeps in, the deep dark. stagnation. lukewarm water, dirty dishwater time. blurry days.