You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Ronin]

When your trust building & bonding themes of conversation are 'why I'm still better out of jail as those morons aren't worth my time, but why jail wouldn't stop me from doing what I want to do with my life'.

When you do six stages of grief in two hours and consider that a good thing because you might forget why you're grieving since arranging that funeral wasn't solely your responsibility and you don't plan on attending.

When you're happy for physical pain that's caused only by your dissociation and not anybody else's contribution.

 

[Anrish]

When you rather walk about five kilometers because you're too scared of the crowds in the sub.

 

[The Albatross]

You know you have PTSD when almost three decades away from rapes/sexual assaults... however noble the cause, you still can't bring yourself to participate in a non-anonymous survey.

 

[The Albatross]

Thanks Britt, I tried but my head just won't let me go "there". I think that's contributing to my down cycle. I still want to be better/more/improved than I really am I guess.

 

[Leah Morgan]

You leave it until the absolute last minute to fetch the kids from school to minimise the time you have to spend waiting in the playground with people to avoid yet another freak out

 

[The Albatross]

I can relate to postponing things/procrastinating til the press of "time" makes me kick it into high gear. I do that sometimes with my work shifts and may actually have to do that today. Like being/doing a pole vault.

 

[Friday]

... however noble the cause, you still can't bring yourself to participate in a non-anonymous survey.

I hereby dub you Charlize Alderidge, of Rancho Penasquitos California, age TBD. (May birthday, perhaps? Or July?)

Or if we'd like to go entirely fictitious... Perhaps Lily Rowan of Manhattan, New York? I've always sort of pictured you as a blonde :) I've even got an address on 35th street, smack dab in the middle of the Hudson River, for her.

 

[The Albatross]

Heh... funny. Fraud though is so "not my thing". Do it authentically or not at all I guess??? (Hoping there are bonus points for admitting foibles and being honest?)

 

[Friday]

LOL... I prefer to think of them as Legends. Or Nom de Plumes. ;) It's only fraud if intentionally deceiving someone will induce another person to act in a way that causes them harm.

Definite points for authenticity.

 

[Anrish]

When you get in panic because you begin to dissociate (lack of sleep, not enough food and water), but ordering something to eat or dring is also almost impossible because you cannot get the words out.

 

[Ronin]

You quit smoking for flashbacks and a month later, it's flashbacks that make you want to start all over again.

Your tendency to overcome the past by visualizing the future gets botched by not being able to think that far into the future.

Your itinerary on reactions doesn't work, either.

You really try to persuade yourself you hate everyone you lost, because love provokes so much wanting.

Nevermind, other coping mechanisms in place. We're writing an origins story, or: How I didn't exactly become a superhero, but at least sticked around and dreamt.

 

[Recovery4Me]

You know you have PTSD, when you are responsible for not only handling your flashback, but explaining it and saying, "No...it's ok. I do not need to go anywhere."