Quitting Social Media

[Deleted member 1860]

This person from my church recently added me. I then realized he's a "friend collector" and posts every moment of his day on FB. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY well aware that the "friend" function on FB means....nothing. But, it is a bit disappointing to add someone and find out that they don't care about you and just want more followers. It just messes with me b/c I grew up before all this social media stuff. (FB didn't exist until I was 22 I think, so my definition of "friend" was already cemented in my mind at this point.)

I really need to get away from FB. Its nothing but crazy making.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Maybe it's just an age thing with me, but I don't like everyone knowing my business, or share my private life with the world.

I know that part of it probably is age. I, too, hate it when everyone knows everything about me. Maybe its a bit of paranoia, but at any moment, anyone can use anything you say/do against you if its posted online to one of your social media accounts.

I'm a bit shocked at how many people on FB post about going out of town on vacation. Uhm, I thought it was common knowledge to not tell anyone this sort of thing b/c it sets you up for being robbed? This PRE-DATES social media!!! I mean that's why we have timers on our lights, etc....Didn't these things come out in the 60's? I can see everything they do, every hour of the day, and I know exactly how far they are away from home. Maybe these people are too busy posting aaaaaaallllllll about themselves to read those social media safety tips that are posted periodically. SMH. (One of my FB "friends" I haven't seen or talked to since high school, so yes, this information is indeed getting posted to "strangers" essentially, not to mention the fact that privacy settings fail all the time.)

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I f*cking hate Facebook, seeing people I knew at school living out their successful happy lives all married with kids when I have F all? Seeing my abusers being treated with kindness and fairness by others when really they should be locked up? Gee, no thanks! I think just looking at that sh*t can cause psychological problems (well, I think it has for me) probably best avoiding it imho.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! I'm afraid in my young days the internet didn't exist at all. Any friend I made were real ones, no that I made a lot friends, as our upbringing was a bit different from the norm, as they say?

Some people can't understand the fact that we lived at all before the "Internet was born" yet these days, some folk can't live without it?

It wasn't until I was 52 before I went "on line" with my first desk top computer, I had heard folk talking about it, but it was a strange language to me. I've prided myself in keeping up with all the new technology, even though it was difficult at times.

 

[Chava]

it is a bit disappointing to add someone and find out that they don't care about you and just want more followers.

I've run into this too. A colleague who I don't see often enough to know well, but who works in my building, sent a friend request. So I accepted and thought it was nice she must have thought something of me or wanted to get to know me. But then at work when I tried to make eye contact and say hello she avoided it. WTH. I assume she's the type who's safer behind a screen, but it was easy to remember how f*cked up the FB concept of "friends" is.

 

[Chava]

@Gadgie a bunch of us grew up before the internet was born. I know there are benefits of all this info and connection, but it's super awkward to see young people sitting together, staring at their phones. That's a generation I do not understand. But even I can get sucked into mindless surfing in my own time (I don't do this when I'm with others...just rude).

 

[Tanishq]

Chava,

Facebook depends on what kind of you people have in it. If you have ignorant people, then that will bring you down. If you have understanding and really good kind hearted people you will be fine.

Sometimes I wonder why there is Facebook? :laugh: That's me. I think, if you want to make connections, why not choose real life? If you want to talk with someone why not pick up your phone and dial the number? Really I prefer old ways because I think that will keep me sane.

This forums, it will help you stay sane in tough times. Glad you are here.

 

[Chava]

if you want to make connections, why not choose real life?

Because I suck at it. Suck. Suck. Suck. But that's no excuse...

I did have an experience working with some somatic education people recently where I was a little more present in my own body, and noticed quickly how that made me also more "present" to others...like there was a response back. I have deep, deep patterns of being disembodied, not present to myself or others, even if we are close by...I always make myself distanced, if not invisible. It's hard to work on, but I absolutely know that's important and no online connection can make up for being in my body, being present to myself and "present" to others in real physical space/time.

Thank you @Tanishq ....I know it's a different kind of connection, but the forum is very helpful for not feeling completely alone through some of this.

 

[Friday]

I've had Facebook since it's inception (including losing it when I was not a registered university student any longer!). When it went public? I created a couple different accounts linked to different emails. Work for work people, family for family people, personal for friends, catch all for everyone else. LOL. They eventually catered to that preference by give you controls over who sees what posts. Voila Merge. ;)

How FB has evolved has been pretty fascinating to me... Because we've literally been creating the "rules" for what is socially acceptable as we've gone along. Pure democracy in action. Especially as different sub-cultures make up their own agreed upon rules.

I've loved it, the whole time.

I quit using it about 3 years ago.

Rabidly less connected, but I also ditched having a phone & email address at the same time. Those mattered far less, as most of the people I know IRL only use phones as old school calling cards (sending a text), unless you actually live with them, and email use is almost non-existent outside of work (where it's used constantly). FB is where all the planning and details happens, announcements are made for upcoming events, etc. About once a year (my personal version of Christmas cards!) I go on my page and go scroll through the past year for the people I care about & want to keep tabs on what they want publically known. That's it.

 

[Neverthesame]

Second go at writing this post. (Stupid phone refreshed the page, so much writing gone.) Now that I am not pissed off about it. Round two.

I had a Facebook once, probably still do. No idea how to find it again, nor do I feel the inclination to. I find it just too much, having to filter out all of the inane silly rubbish people post. I had enough when the automatic suggestion thing started trying to tell me I wanted to look at car crashes and medivac choppers. (The last thing in the world I want).

I have no doubt that you can turn all that crap off, I just can't be assed. I remember a now ex-girlfriend got mad at me once for not going into the Facebook page I had not used in years, just to change the little thing that says I am single. Yup.

I do have a twitter, but that is more for me to keep up with a few people, that often have insightful things to say about some current events. Though I seldom post anything there myself. I can't imagine why anyone would care about my opinions on pop culture or other topics that have nothing to do with me.

The fact is this site is where I do the majority of my speaking. I have probably said this before, but I don't say much when I am talking face to face with other people. At most, just small talk.

 

[Tanishq]

@Chava this paragraph is not directed you. I am aware you don't like facebook now. It's not directed you. I am trying to clear up something that might have been misinterpreted.

Sometimes I wonder why there is Facebook? :laugh: That's me. I think, if you want to make connections, why not choose real life? If you want to talk with someone why not pick up your phone and dial the number? Really I prefer old ways because I think that will keep me sane.

I am just expressing and responding about today's lifestyle and how it has affected on people. Another example, you see people skyping, but you never see them talking in real life. Talking in person is becoming absent gradually. It makes you think and wonder why it has become harder to talk with each other. I hope I am making sense here.

Chava, I am seeing you are trying to work this out social communication part. Take baby steps perhaps? :)

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Nowadays it's like the phone is an extension of themselves, as if it's glued to their hand or is an added body part. Whilst I am incredibly grateful to have found this site, nothing can compare to having a connection, face to face conversation with the real living breathing person right next to you. You can see them smile and their eyes light up when you make them laugh. They can hug you when you're sad, sometimes even know how you feel just by your body language and facial expressions. Nothing beats that :)