Quitting Social Media

[Tanishq]

Nowadays it's like the phone is an extension of themselves, as if it's glued to their hand or is an added body part.

This made me laugh so hard. Thanks Cj77.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

:DThanks @Tanishq!

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Just to play devil's advocate for a moment -

I went dark on social media for a while. What I found was that I actually felt more isolated, as people didn't invite me out as much because I just wasn't on the list of people to click when they set up their facebook event. My good friends? We text and call and email each other. But the other social interactions, the sort where you might not know everyone and you might not be 100% comfortable, but it is a good chance to leave the apartment? All facebook.

Facebook also works on algorythms, so the more you post and the more you comment on things, the higher your posts show up in other people's feeds. Likewise, time of day matters - more people are on facebook 9-5 on Monday than are on a Sunday night. People may just not be seeing what you post.

But what has helped the social interaction stuff the most is using facebook to find local events I'll know people at (like art openings), because I can see the guest list, and then going. Because they are public events at set venues, there is no awkwardness of showing up at an event hosted by someone in their home. And then, once I'm there, I can "run into" people I know and have social interactions, often based on the work that is on the walls- which takes down the pressure to know what to say. But it is also incredibly easy to run away if I need to. It becomes a way to interact with people I don't know well enough to have coffee with, but know well enough that I can practice having a five minute conversation with. Just a thought.

Edited to add: the more I show up at these events, too, the easier it becomes. People are starting to recognize me. They are starting to want to talk to me. And sometimes, I end up getting included in activities like dinner or a drink after the event is over. AND, after a solid two years of forcing myself into these scenarios, I've actually had people start asking me if I'm going to be at events, because they say they want to see me.

I'm not trying to brag at success here, just share a story that might provide a glimmer of possibility. I never thought some years ago that I would be capable of connecting with people at all.

 

[Gadgie]

Isn't it funny in a weird kind if way, that we spend so much time on sites like FB, talking to people we don't even know, just taking what they have written on their profile page, as being truthful. Yet we don't even know the name of our neighbour next door, or the that little old lady who lives a few doors down?

When I was a youngster,( life time ago now) we knew all our neighbours, we respected our elders, did odd jobs for the older folk, swept the snow from their path in the winter, funny thing progress, isn't it?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hey if you find strength in FB, all the more power to you! Nobody invites me out, and the friends I do have on FB don't EVER want to get together. Yes, I've tried...they're too BUSY. Well no duh, like the whole world isn't fcking busy!?!? Translation.....you're good enough to be an online friend, but I don't want to know you in person! A big FU, don't you think? I'm in the process of blocking all these people. And cleaning up my feed so I don't see their crap. Sorry if I sound pissed, but everyone is ignoring me at the moment, and i probably cut off my own damn nose but oh well, I blocked them all b/c i don't feel like dealing with their "i'll only talk to you when I have nothing better to do" mantra which is more like the story of my life with everyone I know but oh well it is what it is, right? Right.

 

[Changing4Best]

A friend of mine says that Facebook is full of gossip, so she does not belong to it. That is what works best for her. She is a very private person, I have noticed, so that has something to do with her decision, I'm sure.

I have had to block one person, if I recall. I also have unfriended a few folks as well. One person I unfriended just kept putting all these photos of malnourished and beaten and injured dogs on there. It got to be sickening and she would post like 20 or more of these things each day! I just could not stomach all those gory details!

I belong to a weight loss group in town here and we have a group page as well, so we can stay in touch between meetings. I appreciate that and go to it most days. I stay in touch with my family by email mostly, but we all belong to facebook too, so it is nice to be in touch there as well.

I could live without facebook, I think, though there are things on it I would miss.

As to your problem about not getting any replies, can you call a few folks in town and ask them those questions about handimen, and so on? Maybe they did not see your notes on Facebook. Also, they may have had to get up and get their phonebook or something and simply have forgotten once they got offline.

Good luck with all this, I hope you find your handiman!