Tortured In California/possible Ptsd

[Chava]

So you had a physical but didn't mention your PTSD concerns or this harassment. That's what needs to happen. See a professional, preferably within mental health or upon referral from GP for your stress symptoms you are having right now and explain everything you can about where this is coming from (like you have here). Then that person will hopefully provide more direction or real-time support.

It is dangerous and unwise for anyone wit self diagnose or diagnose via Internet opinion. You could have PTSD, you could also be experiencing other things. You could be threatened and simply too dissociated to put it together or you could be suffering from a brain tumor.

It is especially concerning to me that for someone who writes for a living, thus knows how to communicate well in writing, has a whole forum of people confused by what you have written. It's not quite the typical writing of someone with the degree and skills you have - and I'm concerned it's atypical for you. It could be a sign of the very real stress you are under.

Really ditto everything @Justmehere said. All we can really tell you to do is go back to your doctor with these symptoms (not a regular physical), or see a mental health specialist for diagnosis. As a side note, my mother also broke through doors and split a door against my back when I tried to hold myself against it (she had previously busted out the latch plate and any part that would allow me to lock it). She was a dissociative rage machine. Are you in the same house where this happened, even if your dad is gone?

Ditto recording so you have more information to bring to others, whether police or mental health. It's odd that you originally posted they were coming from inside your house but are also faint. Maybe it is a type of flashback or a hallucination (slightly different and treatments would vary)...in any case, you need help and more evidence where you are at to establish first if these harassing voices are really happening in real-time. And you need real time help for your distress. Please seek out help where you are at for diagnosis and also direct support.

 

[Deleted member 30651]

Maybe they're confused because I don't fully understand the situation myself. Many of the phrases I was hearing didn't make sense to me at all logically ("they're raping," "please do something," "they'll kill," "you're banned," "you went against the mafia," "they tortured me," "I'm a sex trafficking," "it's a concentration," "This is Dachau"), and I was trying to make sense of them. I thought I might have been experiencing some symptoms of PTSD, but that's just a guess. I felt like I was harassed, if not tortured, but I'm not sure why or by whom.

I'm sitting outside on a white plastic chair on the deck, typing on my laptop right now, and I see just blue sky with no clouds, a lesser goldfinch perched in a fir tree, trucks and SUVs with tinted windows passing on the country road. Maybe some of the harassing comments came from people in the passing cars. I don't know.

It is especially concerning to me that for someone who writes for a living, thus knows how to communicate well in writing, has a whole forum of people confused by what you have written. It's not quite the typical writing of someone with the degree and skills you have - and I'm concerned it's atypical for you. It could be a sign of the very real stress you are under.

I'm glad you are reaching out online, but you also need some in person support.

 

[Kailani]

If this isn't the amazing group of caring people, I don't know what is. Please hang in there and take the advice!!!

 

[digger]

One of the things I haven't seen you answer yet, apologies if I've just missed it, is why you think the comments are being directed at you? If they're faint and hard to hear or make out clearly, and outside of the house, is it possible that it is people talking amongst themselves and not aimed at you, or is there some reason that you're sure you are the intended target, or subject, of the comments.

passing on the country road.

What sort of neighbourhood are you living in? Are there a lot of other houses and people around?

 

[Chava]

Maybe some of the harassing comments came from people in the passing cars.

People passing in cars are harassing you? Directed at you? But you can hear it from inside the house?

Please see a doctor and bring this all up (what if something is seriously wrong?) and then please let us know what happens with the doctor or professional so we can be more supportive. I gotta sign off this post because I don't think there is anything else I can say other than go see a doctor about this.

 

[Justmehere]

Maybe they're confused because I don't fully understand the situation myself.

No, it's not that. People describe experiences they don't understand all the time on these forums. It's your flow of ideas that is very humbled up.

If people are driving by in SVU's with tinted windows, yelling out (and they would scientifically have to be yelling or screaming for it to be heard over the sound of the SVU, let alone inside a house) and screaming out serious anti-semtic language, confessions that they are engaged in felony sex trafficking, doing drugs, raping, and turning a country neighborhood in California into Dachau, a major concentration camp... thats grounds to immediately call the police. Even if it's the neighbors or any other person nearby, or far away, this is seriously awful stuff happening and grounds to call the police.

You haven't. I think that is because you, like us, can't make sense of it. You know on some level that this is not sounding possible or logical.

If this is real, then there is some serious shit happening in your neighborhood. If it is a stress induced or brain tumor induced auditory hallucination, that's really serious too.

You got to get a doctor and a therapist to help you make sense of this. Today. Not in August, today. No delay. No excuses. You can't keep letting this go on and on. Based on what you describe, there is much reason for concern and there is no time for delay.

I'm sure your doctor has an on-call doctor. Please call them and tell them what you have shared with us here and they can help you take the next steps to stop these very serious experiences that are occurring.

 

[Deleted member 30651]

Right now I can hear, "Do the math," "Please don't tell me…" "How awful," "I'll sue you," "Are you homeless?" I don't know where it would be coming from.

I'll talk to the MD in August. That's really all I can do.

 

[Nam]

You can investigate. That's what I would do. I'd HAVE to know if it's in my head or not. And if it isn't, WHERE is it coming from and WHO is it directed at. Considering it is only happening at the house and not elsewhere...tells me it's the location. That doesn't mean it's not in your head because many hallucinations and memories can be brought up from environmental cues.

Find out more info.

 

[Justmehere]

I'll talk to the MD in August. That's really all I can do.

Respectfully, this statement is not true.

You can do more, but you are choosing not to.

Things are not at hopeless and helpless as you may feel right now.

 

[Deleted member 30651]

justmehere: It takes a while to get in to see the doctor. You can't just walk in the door.

Anyway, I can hear the harassment even now. It's Saturday. I'm at my parents' house. The comments I hear now include: "Do the math, nerd," "You're a working class nerd," "Please kill yourself," "Math," "I hate this place," "Kill yourself," "You're a f-ing grease monkey," "It's certainly a concentration," etc. It's especially unsettling because my parents were actually middle class (my mom was a teacher, and my dad was a doctor's son who worked for the government), not "working class." I'm college-educated and have a graduate degree.

 

[Chava]

I've actually gotten in to see a doctor for a couple hours after the phone call. If you talk to a receptionist and tell them what is happening, they could likely squeeze you in somewhere sooner.

No you can't just walk in to the scheduled clinic. But you can make a call. Or you can walk into the ER or walk-in clinic. You could do something about this now. Or tomorrow morning.

 

[joeylittle]

@skiestreeslakes, you've gotten a lot of solid advice out of this thread. Since you are not willing to engage with any of the advice offered, you were already counseled once to answer questions more directly, and are doing nothing but repeating content, you appear to be trolling the board and your content appears as spam, which we don't allow here.

This thread appears to have run it's course, and will be locked. Thanks to everyone who gave great advice.