Messages Or Meanings In Psychosomatics

[shimmerz]

Okay, I always feel guilty and horrible writing this stuff down because so many of you feel pain. I don't, I bypass the pain but my experience is that I 'freeze' where I feel pain. Like, the part of me that should feel pain just doesn't work. And I wonder sometimes, because I bypass the annoyance of pain and go right into freeze, whether that is something that is of value here. I have a hard time communicating this to people, because it is beyond the scope of even abnormal normal, but here it goes.

I suffer from betrayal trauma (yes, there is such a thing). It is still a theory, as far as I understand it, but my T-doc absolutely agrees that much of my trauma stems from betrayal. So Sun and I have been working on my 'back' issue. It just freezes up. Completely. And the picture I get of my back when in this state has been one of a knife. It is a vivid image and I have even had flashbacks with a knife in my back.

For lesser issues (usually when I am forced to move forward in life), my hip freezes and I can't walk. I literally have to force my emotions out of my hip, if that makes any sense at all to someone, and then I can walk again.

I am just wondering if anyone has had any type of inkling about this themselves. Is it possible to recognize the emotion that is perhaps caught up in a psychosomatic illness to relieve the problem?

 

[Chava]

My "freeze" stuff is immobilizing and whole-body. But I do experience stabbing pain in my back sometimes...my pain sensations are out of proportion in that area and I also feel it as separate from me, like I'm hauling around some dead or angry part that can't integrate into "me".

But also, I had a nightmare where a whole family was slaughtered (sorry, I'll spare details). I was on the outside trying not to watch. When I thought it was safe to look, like everyone was already dead. One of the people I thought who was sort of a non-participating bystander stabbed her daughter, a little girl (maybe 6 or 7), in the back. All horrid. Then I woke up.

Is it possible to recognize the emotion that is perhaps caught up in a psychosomatic illness to relieve the problem?

As for your question, I'm afraid I don't know. "Fear" would be obvious. But for me it feels like a mix of stuck self-protection and possibly dissociated or unmanageable mix of bad feelings. Sometimes I know there is sadness in there. Other times fear and fierce need to curl in and protect myself...whether guarding my vital parts or trying to close out the outer world or not be seen. So...everything???

(I think my current profile pic is just about perfect)

 

[ghotiff]

An aquantance showed me a book once which had a list of physical illnesses and their emotional cause. The one I remember was that a foot injury is fear of moving forward in your life. The theory was that if you could release the emotional block, the injury would heal. I personally believe that all physical health issues have some emotional component, but how much is very variable.

Im sorry I don't remember more, but maybe knowing that it exists might increase your chances of finding the information. I'll do some web searches and see what I can find.

 

[ghotiff]

This book sounds very similar. Lots of negative reviews though.

From a website.....
"Heal Your Body" by Louise Hay, from Hay House Publishing. Ms. Hay has created one if not the definitive source for emotional causes, their corresponding illness and a metaphysical affirmation.

 

[Chava]

@ghotiff maybe it was something like Louise Haye's work??

http://datingasociopath.com/2014/01...y-have-a-different-meaning-louise-hayes-work/

"Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions."

 

[Chava]

Whoa, yep...cross posted that @ghotiff !

 

[ms spock]

I think that, perhaps, Louise Hay is a bit simplistic. I don't think that every illness has the same meaning for everyone - it can be most individual - for instance for one person a foot injury could mean that they are not grounded in their body. There are much more sophisticated ways of working with this stuff that is more individualised, rather than putting another overlay on it. My 2 Cents, anyway. It might work for some people, we are all different to what clicks with us.

 

[greycrayon]

Yes. I am currently have alot of freezing episodes with the left side of my chest/upper arm which is emotional

 

[Chava]

I think that, perhaps, Louise Hay is a bit simplistic. I don't think that every illness has the same meaning for everyone

Me neither. It's just one point of perspective on the issue. I do relate to her explanation of back problems, along with Chinese medicine explanations, and a whole lot of other possibilities.

 

[shimmerz]

http://datingasociopath.com/2014/01...y-have-a-different-meaning-louise-hayes-work/

This looks like what I was looking for @Chava and @ghotiff. Thank you so much.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Reading Guardian UK article recently about Bill Cosby. Photo included were of several of the 40+ women in the attorneys office (Gloria Allred). Most of the women had their right arm raised with a hand covering, pressing into the heart. I find my self doing this sleep and awake. Protecting, containing, reliving, trying to hold together?

 

[Chava]

Protecting, containing, reliving, trying to hold together

Probably all of that. I find that rubbing or pressing against my sternum, or holding a stuffed animal close does all of this. Right there are your most vital parts: lungs and heart. Also, the vagus nerve travels down the middle there (responsible for body functions but also our ability to feel social connection and warmth, etc...the social engagement aspect goes offline when traumatized, re-experiencing trauma, or dissociated/shutdown). When I felt comfortable and not scared in therapy it felt like warm water was running down my center, behind my sternum (this is also a great point for using a tuning fork for calming because I notice it travels the path of that nerve, whereas other boney points of the body don't seem to do much).

So holding something to that area might stimulate feelings of comfort, protection, and connectedness (to self and other).