No One Knows I'm In Therapy - Therapist Wants Me To Tell

[shell]

@jandal I am a very private person and really struggle to open up to others and to accept support from others. My T is very concerned that during the 5 weeks she is away I have no support in place. Just this week when I was being sexually bullied at work I was unable to tell my husband, but able to say to him I needed support and a hug because I was struggling.

Sometimes we don't have to open up and reveal too much, just knowing others care about us is enough to make the difference to managing and not managing. Do what is best for you, but know that you are worthy of support.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

You have the right to set boundaries with your therapists and to say that you do not want to share it with someone else. She should respect your boundaries. You share if you want to and if you are ready.

 

[DarkSideOfTheSoul]

@jandal ...you have reached out here. IMHO, your T pushing you to do something you're not comfortable with, and may also isolate you from existing friendships (not everyone is comfy with, or knows how to respond to one with PTSD).
The fact that she keeps bringing this issue up, and taking valuable time away from discussing your other concerns, to me, doesn't sound right. As others have suggested here, there's ways for you to build your support system when you feel ready to, and in ways that may not alienate them from you. If it were me, I'd tell my T that I have a plan in place for building a support system..as others here have mentioned...and that she needn't worry or bring it up again, until such time as YOU feel it necessary.
I get how some T's want to bring us out of our comfort zone in order to move forward. Yet, when it comes to revealing trauma to others, that takes time and much vetting out who and what we share, in order to feel our secrets are safe with them. In some instances, that could end up biting you in the butt. Takes a lot of discernment who to open up with. That's why we seek help with a therapist, cuz they have a confidentiality agreement to stick by. Non-T's don't.
If your T feels she needs you to have more support in order for her to feel less burdened or whatever, then perhaps she's in the wrong biz.
I've opened up to what I deemed were friends at the time, only to have it get passed around as my being mentally unstable & a 'stay clear of her' attitude by the time it got to the end of the 'Chinese Telephone' line.
Sometimes we don't make good choices when clouded by PTSD, and have to do more work with a T to get to a point where our vetting skills are clearer.
I hope all goes well with your therapist, and you two can come to an understanding...even if it's a agree to disagree moment. Best.

 

[Neverthesame]

I don't see the harm in asking once or twice, but nagging you is kinda silly.

If your therapist is that about it, maybe you can ask her what alternatives there are? Like having crisis line phone numbers on you, should you need them.
Maybe she can provide some numbers of confidential outreach services to call when you are overly anxious but not severe enough to need emergency services.

I see what she's getting at but, pestering you is not a good way of doing this. Seems to only be eroding the therapist patient trust.

 

[Tinyflame]

Sometimes we don't make good choices when clouded by PTSD, and have to do more work with a T to get to a point where our vetting skills are clearer.

I think this is true. I didn't tell anyone intentionally other than one person (& that was supposed to be anonymous), & revealed stuff to try to live better/ more wholly, take responsibility for my fault, but I had to learn (I never knew) I'm in fact not obligated to disclose or have to answer truthfully (not that I have to lie, but I can disengage) from others' questions. It caused me awful stress & worry when such situations occurred. Not just a boundary issue but not knowing I was doing anything wrong to not disclose ('answer truthfully') & how to (what to say/ do) to accomplish that.

I think people have to really understand & want good things for you to 'get it' or be supportive.

 

[Rumors]

If jandal doesn't have a support system and her therapist thinks she may too unstable to delve deeper into therapy without having outside support, then therapy itself is stagnant and there isn't any forward motion. I think it is incredibly short sided to judge the therapist here when we don't know the whole story. As well, it isn't good advice on our part to not encourage jan dal to explore why the therapist feels like she needs support. The therapist isn't saying just to pick some random person because you have to tell. It sounds to me like the therapist is concerned that jandal doesn't have enough outside support to delve in to issues. An hour a week isn't much support if you have lots going on. I encourage jan dal to discuss the reasons why her therapist feels the importance or need of an outside support system and then discuss how it effects therapy moving forward.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

It's nobody's business whether you are in therapy or not. That is an odd request from a therapist. Sometimes, I wonder if these so-called "professionals" got their degrees straight out of the bottom of a cereal box.

 

[nessa3]

Hi

I've been in therapy for 6 months now, I have PTSD and experience anxiety on a day-to-day basis.

My...

I agree ,she wants you to get outside support. I didnt in person, but what helped is groups like this on line, and try to find a support group like Mending the Soul, or ACOA, you hear other people talk about their stories and you dont feel so alone....only share when you feel comfortable.