Supporter Spouse Of Ptsd Sufferer

[Monkey01]

Hi my husband has been diagnosed with PTSD two years ago and has been suffering probably most of the eight years we have been together. He has not carried on counselling and believes there is nothing wrong with him despite his self destructive behaviour which has resulted in affairs and ultimately looks like the end of our marriage as he has decided he would like to separate. Family and friends do their best but cannot understand the complexities of PTSD and think I am only making excuses for his behaviour which I am not. Just wondered if anyone else has been in the same situation x

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi and welcome to the forum x wen I read your post I kind of felt my husband would have posted something similar apart from the affairs which naturally I didn't have due to my fear of men and not trusting them . However we did separate as I was certainly self destructive , v v angry and almost destroyed everything I ever lived for. Two years on we are rebuilding our marriage however it hasn't been easy , my treatments , therapy , flashbacks , triggers and disassociating has made it v difficult for my husband. If I put myself in his shoes and if it was the other way round I'm not how I would cope as a supporter . I think anyone that's supports someone with CPTSD or Ptsd is amazing, not really sure what to advise except try and understand but obviously after 8 years it must be very difficult for you. Have you told him about this forum? It may help him to connect with other sufferers , I know I found it very useful and although my husband isn't on it I do read him posts time to time that relate to us. I will be definitely reading him your post. I'm sorry I can't be much more helpful , but am really eased your here as I'm confident someone will be able to give you some good advice x good luck and I hope things work out for you x

 

[Monkey01]

Hi and welcome to the forum x wen I read your post I kind of felt my husband would have posted...

Thank you so much for your kind words - just what I needed today. I feel like I am the only one who understands why he is acting the way he is but despite this also appreciate that he is still accountable for his actions and is not an excuse for his behaviour. It is just so sad to see him self destructing particularly as he believes there is nothing wrong with him anymore. I honestly believe proper therapy would help him but also realise he had to decide this for himself. It doesn't help that the person he has become attached to also suffers from bi polar and with a daughter being involved I have tried everything I possibly could to try and keep my family together. Now I feel like I have lost him completely and he just seems completely disassociated from all feelings and consequences of his actions.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hey don't give up , but if you feel e won't take any help there's not s lot u can do unfortunately. Unfortunately he's got to make that descision and it may be when he hits rock bottom like I did but don't feel guilty, you e fone your best . You should be very proud? It's very hard to be a supporter because it's so hard for you to understand what sufferers feel as we find it hard to open up and be honest. Sorry I probably sound very confusing but I'm speaking from my own personal views not of all sufferers.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Hello. Sorry about your situation. I hope it improves for you in the future.

 

[Monkey01]

Hello. Sorry about your situation. I hope it improves for you in the future.

Thank you. Really appreciate your post.

 

[Monkey01]

Hey don't give up , but if you feel e won't take any help there's not s lot u can do unfortunat...

Thank you. I know you are right and what you say makes complete sense. Whatever happens I need to concentrate more on myself and my daughter as we have been lost during this time and we can't continue to be taken down his path of self destruction any longer. I will always be there for him if he needs my support and we will just have to see what the future holds. Thanks again for replying to me x

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Your most welcome x anytime . Good look on your journey, and don't feel guilty ! X

 

[intothelight]

@Monkey01. Welcome!

The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and your daughter. Your husbands choices are his, and although they affect you and your family, it is something you have no control over. Make the choices now that are best for you.