Hi, I found MyPTSD today. I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment and wanted to connect with other people to hopefully change that.
I experienced a series of things growing up that I found it difficult to process. I haven't understood, as I was experiencing these things, that they were traumatic. They were just what happened.I blamed myself and I played it down.
From childhood I've struggled with high levels of fear/anxiety/nightmares. I didn't understand what these feelings were about, didn't know how to express them and so tried to cope alone.
I have had ongoing terror/panic attacks/hypervigilance/nightmares/been easily startled throughout adulthood.
A year ago I experienced the death of someone close to me. I started bereavement counselling and began trying to talk for the first time about my past experiences. But it feels as if I'm going insane. I am having constant fear/panic attacks, cannot focus or concentrate for very long. The symptoms of the physical illness are getting much worse due to the high levels of stress.
After telling the bereavement counsellor a little about my past experiences, I realised I needed to tell my doctor. He told me I had experienced childhood trauma that had led to physical collapse. I don't really know what the next steps are. The fear feels like it can't be contained so I joined this forum in the hope I might be able to share in a way that feels safe.
I havent formally been diagnosed with ptsd but am beginning to realise that the level of fear, and the way I'm repeatedly triggered into cycles of panic/foreboding are not what other people around me experience.
Thanks for reading this and for being here.
I experienced a series of things growing up that I found it difficult to process. I haven't understood, as I was experiencing these things, that they were traumatic. They were just what happened.I blamed myself and I played it down.
From childhood I've struggled with high levels of fear/anxiety/nightmares. I didn't understand what these feelings were about, didn't know how to express them and so tried to cope alone.
I have had ongoing terror/panic attacks/hypervigilance/nightmares/been easily startled throughout adulthood.
A year ago I experienced the death of someone close to me. I started bereavement counselling and began trying to talk for the first time about my past experiences. But it feels as if I'm going insane. I am having constant fear/panic attacks, cannot focus or concentrate for very long. The symptoms of the physical illness are getting much worse due to the high levels of stress.
After telling the bereavement counsellor a little about my past experiences, I realised I needed to tell my doctor. He told me I had experienced childhood trauma that had led to physical collapse. I don't really know what the next steps are. The fear feels like it can't be contained so I joined this forum in the hope I might be able to share in a way that feels safe.
I havent formally been diagnosed with ptsd but am beginning to realise that the level of fear, and the way I'm repeatedly triggered into cycles of panic/foreboding are not what other people around me experience.
Thanks for reading this and for being here.
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