Steinberg Depersonalization Test

[Dommdy]

I got a 47. I'm not surprised. I have a therapist but she doesn't help me very much.

 

[Cbudlucky]

I have worse than everyone here. 65. Time to call my psychiatrist. I always just thought it was my personality though.

 

[laurainalameda]

Oh dear. I got 58. A bed better open up for me at my inpatient program soon :/

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@sun seeker I was wondering what section you posted your thread on how people think in? I can't find it and would like to read it. Thanks, cj

 

[Hope4Now]

54. And I think I answered fairly conservatively. Not surprising at all to me because after all the reading I've done about dissociation, I know I suffer from both depersonalization and derealization.

Both of these exist on a continuum though. Everyone has moments of both depersonalization and derealization. What the quiz doesn't quite get to (and even the SCID) is the quality of the experiences and the length of time they last.

Here's two examples for me...

• "normal" derealization: Fleeting moments of feeling like my current life is unreal...like something out of a film...then sort of a snap back into acknowledgement of where I am in the here and now. Like Oh, yeah, I'm x age and married and my kids are bigger than I am...
• "problematic" derealization: Sitting in my car for 20 minutes + watching these people (my family) raking leaves and thinking, "What a nice family they seem, etc." No emotions really. Just kind of watching like I'm on the outside of something looking in. And then eventually it gradually dawns on me who and where I am. Usually it takes something physical to snap me back...like I have to go to the bathroom, or one of "those people" comes over to the car and starts talking to me as if they know me. It is a profoundly disturbing experience. (edited upon reading...this is kind of depersonalization too...)

• "normal" depersonalization: more kind of like what @scout86 's therapist calls "thinking." When I am working on a project or giving a presentation or even participating in a conversation, and part of me is doing the activity, but another part of me is aware of what and how I am doing it and how others are receiving it. And this helps me shift/edit/change as needed. I am aware of the kind of dual consciousness that is happening, and how helpful it is.
• 
  
• "problematic" depersonalization: the ongoing sense that I live outside of my body. That the "real" me does not exist inside this body I have. And that there is more than one "real" me. My energy is not inside of me. It is different from "thinking." It is a life experience. And it is what makes me feel like an utter alien and makes it very hard to connect with other people, or emotional experience, or any sense of living reality as I now believe most people do. It never bothered me much for my whole life because I didn't know anything else, except for a few odd moments here and there when it felt different. But then last February, I started experiencing my life/self a little differently. Think I started to have the experience of "personalization." And it was quite wonderful. And now my work is to learn how to control this...to recognize when I am depersonalized and to use all the strategies I'm learning to re-personalize.

but a lot of that was "normal"; you need a *remembered, different* way to experience your reality to *know* you are doing some of this stuff.

^^^ YES!!! This is so true.

Thanks for this thread, @void ! I'm going to find the one on thinking next...

 

[sun seeker]

I was wondering what section you posted your thread on how people think in?

Here it is:
www.myptsd.com/c/threads/how-do-you-think.56730/

I didn't keep up with it myself. One of these days...

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks @sun seeker :)

 

[void]

54. And I think I answered fairly conservatively. Not surprising at all to me because after all the rea...

You are welcome, @Hope4Now !:hug:

As we can see from reading the others, this Test has given some individuals insight into an aspect of their psyche that they previously did not understand.
This pleases me :happy: and it is why I posted the thread.
The way forward always starts with self-awareness and insight.
:)

 

[ms spock]

YOUR SCORE IS 67

And I have improved dramatically.

 

[dnp]

I scored 48 but some of the questions were only partly true for me so I had to score them low.

For example, "I have purposely hurt or cut myself so that I could feel pain or that I am real." I have self-harmed a lot in my life but not to feel real.

Another one is "I have felt that my emotions are not in my control." I don't think I have any emotions so I said no to that one.

I was aware I had depersonalization issues but for a long time I didn't care. I even liked it as I felt it helped me function. But I'm starting to feel now that it's interfering with my healing.

 

[void]

I scored 48 but some of the questions were only partly true for me so I had to score them low.

For example,...

No emotions = emotional numbing(severe) which IS dissociation for sure
all humans are emotional and if they feel no emotion there is dissociation or some kind of repression present...ALWAYS
sadly, ik whereof i speak

all cutters dissociate....guaranteed
sadly, ik whereof i speak

"I was aware I had depersonalization issues but for a long time I didn't care. I even liked it as I felt it helped me function. But I'm starting to feel now that it's interfering with my healing."

I can relate.

This means you have been growing and are ready for more growth.
VERY good sign:tup:

Have you figured out why you engaged in self-harm?

 

[dnp]

Have you figured out why you engaged in self-harm?

Yes, one of my parents was psychotic, paranoid and had frequent, unpredictable rages. Both my parents were absolute believers in painful physical punishment. From my earliest memories I tried to befriend pain. I wanted to be comfortable with pain so I didn't crack mentally from the fear of it. When the threats of death and torture started, the feel of a knife against my skin made me feel like I had control over my own death. Again, it helped me cope with my fear.

After I grew up I sometimes had the urge to self-harm. I would make up stupid scenarios in my head for why I needed to be hurt. If I felt suicidal just feeling the knife on my skin would be enough and I didn't have to carry through with it.

VERY good sign

Thanks for the encouragement. It's good to know.