Sexual Assault Is It Strange For A Mother To Ask A Child To Touch Her?

[Queen Boudica]

I don't know but if you are 14 I think you need to go to the school counsellor. I'm a bit concerned now I think about it in that we are talking to a child here so we shouldn't be commenting at all but if she thinks abuse go talk to school counsellor.

 

[bellaheart]

I don't know but if you are 14 I think you need to go to the school counsellor. I'm a bit concerned now I t...

hello, thank you for your reply. im not really confident to go to my school counselor. i had some bad experiences with them due to the fact that my friends have already told my counselors that i had suicidal tendencies (and i did not want them to tell anyone). they notified my parents and it made everything really complicated and i am really uncomfortable with talking to anyone about these problems. i'd rather stay anonymous; i hope you understand? i wish i can talk to my counselors without feeling so guilty and uncomfortable but i can't really bring myself to do it confidently. maybe i can email them anonymously? thanks again for your reply.

 

[bellaheart]

What do you mean by grope you? Did she grope you, or you wanted her to? The telling you that it is OK for h...

i didnt see this before, sorry! but my mother always was really touchy (is that the word?). i dont know if she did it because she wanted to show affection but i always caught her kissing me when i was pretending to sleep and she always murmured something (i cant clearly remember) but she groped my rear ? a lot. after incidents like that i decided that it felt somewhat good and i wanted her to do it, even though i thought it was weird for a mother to touch her child in that way

 

[bellaheart]

I think it's really difficult to say whether what happened was ok or not in a general sense because so m...

thanks so much for your reply; i really wish i could talk to someone in real life about this but i think i am too young to get a personal psychiatrist. i am 14 and my school counselors and i have had bad experiences with each other and i am too uncomfortable to talk to them. my friends spoke up about me having suicidal tendencies to them without my knowledge and my school notified my parents. i am worried that they will tell my parents again about my personal problems. i am too scared to talk to friends, relatives, anyone really. the only people i do feel okay with talking to is to people who have been through similar situations and i can really only find these people online, so i came here. thanks again for your reply!

 

[bellaheart]

It is rare in most cultures to continue to breastfeed to that sort of age (although I should add that I d...

hello , thank you for your reply! i have one sibling (who is older than me). i just thought it was weird for her to bring up a topic like that, especially when we were talking about a school friend? im just confused as to why my mother asked me to do that, and if i even consented to it.

 

[Queen Boudica]

If you go to the school counsellor and say you suspect abuse, that would have to be taken seriously. As for the previous incident. Your friends did right, they were concerned about you, they went to the counsellor and that is the counsellors job to notify parents that you are suicidal and your parents should sort out psychological help. So if they didn't the counsellor should be checking up on you. If you think abuse you always tell.

Also before you said you wanted your mother to grope you in bed. but now you say she was groping you by grabbing your buttocks and kissing you. So this is getting confusing. You need to go to a counsellor. This seems to be increasing in magnitude.

 

[bellaheart]

If you go to the school counsellor and say you suspect abuse, that would have to be taken seriously. As for...

thanks for your quick reply again; yes, i do understand that my friends were concerned about my well being and i know it is best to notify the guardians of a child who might be endangered. the thing is that my parents only were upset by the fact that i was suicidal and they told me that i dont have any right to feel 'sad'. i dont think they understand that many teenagers are depressed and they need help. after the incident, all my parents did was yell at me and they forgot this ever even happened (this happened a couple of months ago by the way.) my parents dont check up on how im feeling, really. they never even sought help for my well being. my school counselors called me again to ask if i was doing okay but i told them i was fine. i just think i am too afraid to get any help for myself and im too scared that my parents will keep hurting me because i tell them that i am not feeling well. i am afraid that if my counselors suspect any abuse then i will be the one to blame for breaking apart a family and i dont want to be responsible for that

 

[bellaheart]

If you go to the school counsellor and say you suspect abuse, that would have to be taken seriously. As for...

also for the groping thing; after the incident with the breastfeeding, i noticed that she was groping me. after that, i wanted her to continue. sorry for being so confusing!

 

[Queen Boudica]

Ok you need to tell the counsellor you are not fine. The counsellor did the right thing in the first instance by telling your parents. If your parents have not acted on your suicidality then that is negligence, bearing in mind the abuse you suspect, you need to go back to the counsellor or the Police or go to your GP.

If you end up suiciding that will break your family apart. I know you are afraid, is there a teacher you trust? Sounds like you have some good friends. This has to come out sounds like you have a whole load of issues going on at home and your family is already not functioning and you need help. and it is the counsellors job to make sure you get that help if your family won't. Last thing your family wants is a suicide, they don't understand this issue so they need to be explained by someone else how serious this is. A counsellor, GP, teacher.

 

[bellaheart]

Ok you need to tell the counsellor you are not fine. The counsellor did the right thing in the first instan...

i plan on telling them that i need some help, probably through email to be anonymous. i dont think i will call the police i think this is too forward for me. i think i will try to get some advice from my counselor. ive lived with my parents' ways for my entire life i can deal with this for a little longer. i am not so suicidal anymore, though. i still have thoughts about it, but i try not to act upon it. thank you very much for your advice; im going to email my counselor right now.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm with @Lizio on this one. You're a minor, which means parents, guardians or responsible authorities need to be aware of what's going on with you. I too am quite confused about what you're saying has happened with you, especially given you initially said you were v young (6/7 years old) when the breastfeeding thing happened and now you seem to be saying you were older and there are other issues.

Whatever is happening you need proper support from people in real life. I'm going to keep off this thread and others that you might post because I'm worried about you, your age and vulnerability. I can't do anything to help or keep you safe and you don't seem to be able/willing to get actual help so I'm going to bow out now. I wish you every good thing in finding a way forward.

 

[Queen Boudica]

See what you are saying is you have thoughts on it and try not to act on it, that is suicidal. What is your definition of suicidal, did you actually attempt? I'm more concerned about your immediate safety. Yes very good idea to go to your counsellor. Trust me if your family understood how many teenagers suicide but they don't get it, but the counsellor will. Put yourself first, by that you are also looking after your family. Do you trust your elder sister? Could she help act as a liason between you and your parents.

Other thing phone a suicide hotline and ask for advice. If you end up suiciding it will devastate your family. Sounds like a cultural issue that their attitude to parenting is ingrained in that way, but your sister may understand but whatever if they understand or not, you need to look after yourself and what you are saying is you really need help urgently.