Glasswings

[KwanYingirl]

You and me both!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I also have gagging problems and choking and coughing problems when food goes down the wrong way. So I understand how you feel. Hang in there and i hope that you do a lot of self care today. Many hugs.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks @gizmo, I did manage to have a day of self care, I hope you can too :hug: :)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so much @Cj77 I plan on doing self care when I get home from therapy later on today. Hugs.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I have an appointment with a new psychotherapist tomorrow and I'm really anxious about it now.

I dreamt about my father last night. We were talking as if nothing had happened. It was summer and I felt okay. There was also a tiger cub and I was stroking it, then I woke up.

My mind is racing. I keep thinking, "why? Why did my mother do those things to me? How could she hurt me like that? Why???".

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'm not sure of the new therapist. She has an accent which sounds Russian and I found her rather difficult to understand. I don't know what to do now.

 

[Gadgie]

You will be surprised just how much you can communicate even if there is a language problem.

When I was working in Russia as a welding instructor, none of them could understand English,(or in my case, Scottish) yet, by sketching, signing and demonstrating, we managed it.

In fact, by the time I left, they could speak some English, and I learned a little bit of Russian.

 

[RavenGirl]

@Cj77 , I'm sorry to hear how your family had treated you. You deserve better. None of that was your fault, you were an innocent little child who didn't deserve that treatment. I'm glad you are doing a trauma diary as I think it will help you to begin to heal and be able to get rid of some of the baggage of your past. Hang in there, you are worth it! ! ;):hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks @Gadgie, I think it's more than just her accent, it doesn't seem a good "fit"...

Thank you @RavenGirl, there's a whole lot more but I can't manage to type it out here yet, I guess it takes time.. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

After much pondering, I phoned and asked for a different therapist. They will try to get me another one who I can understand easily, they said it's not a problem. Feeling relieved.

 

[RavenGirl]

@Cj77, advocating for ourselves is oh so important and one of the scariest things we will do. I'm proud of you for asking for what you needed.

there's a whole lot more but I can't manage to type it out here yet, I guess it takes time..

Take all the time you need. That's the great thing about this being your diary; you get to have control. ;):hug:

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks RavenGirl :hug:

I often feel like I'm in a prison. The way my life is right now is not the way I want it to be. I made many wrong choices and I don't know how to get back on to the right track for me. So far, no therapist has made any viable suggestion as to how I can make things right.

I desperately want to move forward now.