Flashbacks & Strange Behaviour During Therapy

[barefoot]

that way if it happens out of the therapy room infront of someone else ill have a vague idea of what may have happened.

Just to add, I don't think mine will happen to anywhere near that scale outside of therapy. Firstly, because I don't think anything outside a session would get me to that state. And secondly, I think the fact that it happened in some way shows how much I trust my therapist. So, although I hated her witnessing what I couldn't remember and I felt she'd seen too much and that makes me feel panicky...I think there was a part of me that knew I'd be safe there. Doing that somewhere out in public with random people (or even with people who care about me a lot but wouldn't have a clue what was going on/what they should do) – I think at a very deep level, something in my head would know that wasn't safe and would stop me going that deep...

I don't know... That's my feeling... Hopefully I won't be proved wrong on that! ;-)

 

[Chava]

I'm more of the space-out, blank out, go numb or limp, nearly faint variety. My therapist has held my feet to the floor or gently touched my hand. She keeps talking or asking simple questions, like what's happening or what I'm noticing. Takes a while to respond but I hear her, and just that helps too. I had another therapist who just stared and waited in silence in a long episode like this, so I really disconnected. She sent me to a hospital and I ended up on anti-psychotics. It was all unhelpful.

Sometimes have a blanket, a teddy bear, or a little instrument or peaceful sound-maker of some type is very helpful, especially if I'm having a rough time (often, but especially after hospital stuff). Anyway, doesn't sound abnormal for trauma stuff and glad your therapist can focus on helping you get grounded.

 

[Panda Bear]

she cant lock or pin me in a room as this would cause a re-traumatisation and really distress me.

Okay, I'm a bit frazzled tonight, but I'll try to answer you. And I'm just to tired to read all the other responses. As you stated above, no she can't and runs the risk of retraumatizing you.

One occasion, no...T would not let me leave till I calmed down. I was openly defiant, raging angry(totally out of my mind, mad) and he did get me calm and then let me go. But he assured me I could leave once I agreed to grounding a bit.

Multiple occasions, I would flip and pronounce that I was done and he would tell me no. He would wait patiently for me to get a hold of myself and come back to the conversation. This was/is after I had some grounding skills that I could access and would. Sometimes he had to start them, and I'd pick up the rest.

Door slamming.....happened a few times, most recently, 2-3wks ago. I am no longer allowed to slam the door....no more tantrums, the expectations have been risen. So don't be like me. But yes, on those incidents, he let me go. But I always had to face those outburst the following week. Stinks.

Anger is a quick dissociation for me, I can either fall privy to dissociation via a raging fit or when I get lost on retelling an event. It was something I did for months before T realized what I was doing. When he learned and then taught me to fight it, I started to access it via anger. Which is here I have trouble now.

Not sure this helps.

 

[Jen12]

'm more of the space-out, blank out, go numb or limp, nearly faint variety

hi,
Thank you for your reply to this thread. I normally react in the same way as you, i completly zone out. My therapist has struggled in previous weeks to ground me using all the normal groundind techniques she usually would. She mentioned the next week she was getting really worried at what to do if i didnt get grounded. Weve finally found the best grounder, my little dog who now accompanies me to every session.

Im not sure what trigger makes me react in a way inwhich ill move around, go in corners and try and escape. I think that'll have to be the next thing we look into.

She sent me to a hospital and I ended up on anti-psychotics. It was all unhelpful.

I honestly didnt know they could send a patient to hospital, it must have been so so scary! Did they send you to a medical or psych hospital?

 

[Jen12]

I don't think mine will happen to anywhere near that scale outside of therapy.

I hope it doesnt aswel, i can honestly say its trueky awful situation to be in.... It happened to me a couple of weeks ago whilst i was in medical hospital. The nurses faces were that of sheer shock, terror And bewillderment. They knew i had PTSD but didnt have a clue what it entailed.

 

[Jen12]

Okay, I'm a bit frazzled tonight, but I'll try to answer you. And I'm just to tired to read all the...

Thank you so much for your replies, even though your tired and frazzled, i really appreciate it. I hope it hasn't caused you any distress?

Your reply has been realt helpful! I dont react in anger, i tend to just demand to leave and will do anything to leave. If im not totally dissociated i tend to repeat the word 'home', but if im completely zoned out ill try ever door handle and window as a means to get out.
My therapist is really good and stays calm. She'll follow me around to make sure i dont get hurt, without visably blocking exits

 

[Panda Bear]

i tend to repeat the word 'home

Yes, this happens a lot for me. Repeating 'home' or 'can we be done'. So, I understand what you're saying. Those phrases are cues that I need some prompting and help starting a grounding exercise. When I use them, T will pause and help me get calmed down before things escalate.

Oh, and you didn't make things worse. Yesterday was was challenging, but good. Worked through a lot of information in therapy yesterday, so I was toast.

 

[Jen12]

Yes, this happens a lot for me. Repeating 'home' or 'can we be done'. So, I understand what you're s...

Ohhh im glad it didnt exacerbate things for you. Im pleased to heart you got to work through alot during your therapy session just make sure your kind to yourself over the next few days, you'll probaly be physically and mentally drained.

Thank you again for your helpful input on this thread, its helped me alot!

 

[deleted]

I have had an experience very similar to yours! :) I had a huge flashback in a session once that also ended up with me huddled in a corner (that's very common for me during panic attacks), crying and shaking like it was -8 degrees in there. My therapist said they had tried to help me through but I didn't respond to anything. It was really embarrassing for me and I understand exactly how you felt! It sounds like your therapist did a great job of supporting you through it! Don't feel bad about having this happen in session! It gives your therapist a lot of information to work with and she can find better ways to support you! Therapists have these things happen all the time! I think you are really brave to keep going back to therapy! It's definitely really hard after an episode like this. :) best wishes to you!

 

[Chava]

Great if your dog helps. Can you try sitting further away from your therapist? Or closer? Or change where you are sitting? Or notice any feelings before this happens? It's really helpful (though I know can take a while) to see if there are some triggers and slow down.

In response to question about my hospital trip: I went to a psych hospital in this case. I don't think I was forced to go but I also was homeless at that point, and in such a deep fog, that I just ended up there and when I got enough clarity said "what the f*ck am I doing here?" and checked myself out. But I think treatment centers and programs can be very helpful in some cases, and I've been in good places too (this was just not right at the time, but i'm not sure what would have been...I was pretty deep into my own oblivion).

 

[Jen12]

I have had an experience very similar to yours!

Thank you katie, its nice to know i does happen, and it wasnt me being strange. I was and still am absolutly mortified about it. My therapist is really really good during our sessions, im lucky to have the access to a hoghly qualified trauma therapist.

Im back at therapy today im dreading it! Im hoping i didnt say or do anything too embarrasing, or disclosed information i dont want people to know yet.

Thank you for tour supportive message i really appreciate it

 

[Jen12]

Great if your dog helps. Can you try sitting further away from your therapist? Or closer? Or change where...

My dog is amazing, my therapist joked and asked if he could go on the pay roll and work for her during all her sessions

Its funny you mention where i sit in relation to my therapust. Where still trying to get the right. I cant have people do sudden movements infront of me, touch me or be too close. So emdr with eye movements we decided against. So we started off with leg taps, but she was consious that because she was so close and in my personal space she's look away from me so it wasnt intimidating. But then i severly dissiciated, and she wasnt able to catch it beforehand as she couldnt see me. So were still trying to fund the best method.

Awww wow, id be petrified if i came too in a psych hospital! Isld be crawling the walls to try and find a route to escape. Psych hospitals are a real fear of mine