Taking It Personal

[shimmerz]

It is true. I hadn't thought so much about the age difference, but that does play a role for me as well. I prefer the 'static' posting as opposed to the 'dynamic' chat. I hope you are able to use the posting feature here ladee.

 

[ladee]

Thank you so much @shimmerz for the validation, that I was not being petty and judgmental..... which I didn't feel I was,but happy to know I am not the only one.. I am 65 and tho I find chat a good distraction sometimes.... I just need to do what I did here and write it out like I did.... I DO feel I am being heard.... and that is some amazing validation... very kind and supportive comments.... that are greatly appreciated.... just sooooo sensitive right now, and oh how I hate feeling so vulnerable.....

 

[Weemie]

Hey, Ladee, any time I'm in chat I'll be happy to shoot the breeze with ya! Welcome to the forums. :hug:

 

[AmISane]

I saw your line "still owning what is mine" and "taking responsibility for my feelings". I have read a few thing where sufferers of CPTSD should take responsibility. I think that is a bit like punishing ourselves for what happened to us in the past. I think that's a very modern conservative view and seems to be opposite to what I have read in psychology books and it goes against what I understand of society and sociology.its like blaming the sick for being ill.

What happened in the past was not our fault, we had no control over it. It has coloured our past and present and made us into what we are now. We were let down by everybody around us, you will not find one single person who will apologise for that. We struggle through this alone. Should we really have to take responsibility for the way we react to situations? Absolutely not! It's NOT YOUR FAULT. We are the product our experiences.

As a survivor of extreme mind altering trauma you have the right to rant, show your frustration and say what you think. That is healthy, having to apologise is not. We should all stop doing that. If the path to getting better is to vent and rage that is what we will do.

Be proud that you are a survivor, you have been through a lot.

 

[Knak]

When I first got here, still new, I felt welcomed and was reading a lot, learning things.. now it seems wh...

I just watched a trauma video that said that people who were traumatised/neglected in the past will react to a situation that others who were able to develop self-support earlier in life don't react to.
In other words it's a trigger of past trauma, which we all suffer with PTSD.
I am so used to being ignored I deliberately don't look for feedback, but am pleased when I get it. Sometimes I wonder if what I said was off base.
I mostly post what I've learned to be true for me that relates to a thread, so don't look for validation that what I said was true.
I overcame feeling invisible in public discussions because I practically yell when I talk so people have to hear me. Otherwise I'm sure they would talk over me and ignore me.
I am fastidious about editing my posts so they are clear and I can spend hours on a few paragraphs, so I'm not so healthy in time management.

 

[ladee]

@AmISane....... maybe years ago, eons ago, when I was first getting started on this journey of healing, that is how I felt.... I have grown, and healed a lot.. what I was saying about 'owning' it.... is that I got in my 'rejection place' and reacted from there, instead of doing other things I know to do now, to breathe, ground, rethink.....
I absolutely hold my abusers accountable, for the the things they did and said... but in order for me to move on, I had to understand that I also have choices that I did not have then.....Many choices to empower myself and not stay in the place of rage and anger.. It took a long time, so I absolutely understand where you are coming from.....I know those feelings and expressed them quite loudly and often....
This is what has worked for me to get healthier and be a part of the human society... tho on many days I still isolate, but today it is a choice... because humans make me tired.
So you scream and tell it like it is and was.... you deserve that, to tell it like it was.... and hold those accountable that have hurt you so bad..... I did, and you can to.... it was worth it..... thank you for your reply, it did help me to see your pain and I am grateful for that..
I wish you a journey of healing. and I am so glad you are here...

 

[ladee]

@Knak, absolutely I was triggered.... and do I ever get being 'invisible' and 'not heard'. I know now, looking back on that episode, that is why I posted in the forums..... I was NOT going to let it slide , it was the way I felt.... and my feelings are worth a lot today, to be heard is important....but it was good also to get the support and feedback I did, it helped me get to a place of owning it.... to me, otherwise I am still giving THEM the power to make me look hysterical and dramatic..... so thank you for your post.... and you are very articulate.... I got everything you said and relate on many levels....And I get the 'yelling' too, I will still do that..... I think that is what I was doing on my first post... YELLING.... but this is a different atmosphere here, we get support and suggestions.... the only one I didn't like was the first one, 'try not to blow it out of proportion' (I may not have that quote verbatim)..... but I ignored that one.... that sounded too much like stuff I have been told my whole life.... I have feelings, they are important, and someone will hear me.... and someone will say, hey, I hear ya !!! And I hear YOU !!! thanks again for your reply.:)

 

[RavenGirl]

@ladee , I think we want to be heard because we were silenced when we were little. That's only normal. I remember saying, "why won't Anyone listen to me, why don't I matter?!" So with that being said, "I hear you, what you have to say matters." :happy: :tup::hug:

 

[ladee]

Backatcha @RavenGirl...... and love the hugs.... always appreciate hugs... and LOVE your new tat by the way..... it's a beauty....:hug:

 

[RavenGirl]

Thanks @ladee . :D

 

[dnp]

I think I accidentally joined the chat one day and didn't realize until I saw my name in the chat box, and couldn't figure out how to leave it. I tend to be "away from keyboard" most of the time, which is the main reason I don't chat. I finally logged out of the website to get myself out of the chat. I'm not sure how long I was sitting in there and not realizing it.

 

[dnp]

Hmm okay, I keep getting put back in the chat. I can't figure out how to leave.