Goodbye!

[lostforgottensoul]

Sometimes it is good just to step back and take a break. One of my PTSD symptoms is emotional overl...

Unfortantly, i dont feel safe here anymore. Maybe that will change but ince fhe wnd person said what that i "jack most every thread", thats kike saying my presense here is annoying and im not helpful; to me, and it made my wall go up. How can i feel like i can be vulerable again to people im scared will hurt me again?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Stop listening to members who think they're staff, or believe they have some claim here about who does what. If staff aren't saying it in a staff capacity, then post as you want.

I like you Anthony! I always have. Dont know why. But you made me smile when on lunch i was in the company bathroom balling my eyes out. :)

 

[Justmehere]

Time away wont make this go away so my only option is to permantly go away.

:hug: lostforgottensoul - there are other options.

These and a handful of things you have witty be here are very black and white statements. Lots of "all" and "must" and etc.

I encourage you to consider that there may be other options. There may be a middle path.

Some people have critical comments and you can choose to take them in, or run from them, or instead, discard what isn't helpful and focus on what is. Use the ignore button for what isn't helpful. This is a helpful skill for everyone to learn, not just here but everywhere in life. With a wide enough audience we are always going to run into people who don't agree, and unlike when we were enduring trauma, is ok now to ignore those who disagree. We don't have to get into a verbal fight with them or flight from the entire group. There can be a another path, another choice now.

No matter what part you choose, your life and your voice has value and I hope you hang on to this and keep reaching out for help in places you feel like you can, here or elsewhere.

 

[Justmehere]

I cross posted with you and read this post after I posted -

Maybe that will change but ince fhe wnd person said what that i "jack most every thread", thats kike saying my presense here is annoying and im not helpful; to me, and it made my wall go up.

Is "kike" is a typo? In the US, this word is typically a racial slur. If you meant to type this, that's rather hurtful. I get it that one person gave negative feedback that you are feeling really hurt about, but lashing out with such attacks on a whole group of people only multiplies the hurt - and is more distorted black and white thinking. (One person hurt me, so this whole group is bad.)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

your life and your voice has value

Wish i believed that. If i was messages and it said "hey you dont have to put so much info in your replies..." ok. Skmeone messaged me to ask if i would make more paragraphs instead of grouped up replies and i did. But being called a "tread hijacker" when i was just answering a question and i didnt even spark the convo, told i dont have attachment disorder because i cant remem er below 6 or 7 though my therapist say i might and then a second person in messages sticks up for the first saying i jack most threads but most dont want to say anything. Thats like saying you suck on here. Like how else am i to take that?

And saying "get over my rant" doesnt help either. I stuggle very much with seeing myself in any possible good light and "like everyone else" whom didnt deserve my past. Its not a "rant", i dont feel safe enough to even post a reply on any other thread let alone be vulernable enough to create more of this new odd feeling i have.

I dont know if time away will help but will need to try or to lurk.

And @joeylittle, when i said most have family or friends and most have their therpist's cell # and email, i didnt say all for a reason. Im sorry that you are without real life support too cuz it sucks!

Im finding it literally inpossible to unbrainwash myself without people countering it. Try bring convinced the sky isnt blue and maybe that will come close to what im trying to do.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is "kike" is a typo?

Yes, it was supposed to be "like". I dont even know what a "kike" is and im in the US. Im as far from racist as one gets

Actually, theres a lot of typos in there. Typing fast on a phone while at work. Sorry!

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Look. I said I'd bow out. But the fact is you privately messaged me, upset about how staff and others were "attacking" you and I got into exchanges trying to assure you that's not where people were coming from. When I eventually said something you didn't like, you have now yanked that private comment into public, where now the *same* people are slamming me as causing the problem. I feel extremely manipulated and have also apologized to you I feel more than enough for the way you heard my words (privately and publicly). I don't feel safe on this site either when I'm being cast as the bad guy for trying to be helpful (solicited help at that).

I hope my post here is on topic and relevant. Please stop. I can only bow out if you stop dragging me in. I'm in a triple bind regarding inviting staff into PM thread.

 

[Rumors]

I don't pay any attention to know if someone is hijacking a thread or not, but so what if you do? I have probably done the same thing several times. I am human and so are you. Don't let something that isn't a big deal keep you from getting the support you need AND deserve.

 

[Chava]

Stop listening to members who think they're staff

Not sure if that was a sideways jab at me, but when I'm not sure what i'm thinking I guess I know who I can ask. :whistling: I made it really clear I was stating my thoughts as an observer and participant in that thread but whatevs.

@lostforgottensoul sorry you're feeling beat up on. Nobody intended that. I saw that post as becoming a one-sided thread and you do have a lot to share (I understand that). I should have just left it at asking about creating a new post more specific to your connections, and a way to further explore the RAD or complex trauma and sex-only connection (which is not probably so uncommon). You would get MORE responses that way, vs it carry on as a conversation between only a couple posters. But it's really not a big deal and there aren't rules. And it's been hinted at that I shouldn't make suggestions. :meh:Hgpfph. There are lots of people who care and willing to share here...I also like how @Ms Spock has reached out to you here to relate and try to share perspective.

Sorry you're so upset. I hope you'll keep posting! I saw you responded again in that thread but I just got back from a few hours of work...will check back later.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I saw that post as becoming a one-sided thread

I, ME, I didnt make it that way. I posted an answer to a question in the OP, posted my part of that because thats all i can go off of. And you suggested that i post a diary, which doesnt help, or another thread; this suggesting that i didnt have a place there (which first isnt your call) but second, it got taken in another direction by someone else too. WTF am i the one thats blamed for the conversation that not just us two had but others had a part of too. Yes, i feel attacked.

I hope you'll keep posting!

Why if i hijack all the threads i post in?

Not really concerned with messaging w/ msspock right now about it. I am who i am, i ramble, i give info about my past so that peoole understand what im trying to convey. I did read the rules, this isnt against it so if this is something that upsets people then this isnt the place for me and im no longer feeling safe here anyway right now.

 

[Chava]

i was trying to give the person ANOTHER WAY TO LOOK AT IT, as thats what my therapist has me doing to my own way of thinking. I didnt blow anyone off, if someone told me, look at it this way, im gonna try if it helps and not if it doesnt but certianly not be offended as THEY WERE TRYING TO HELP

It's good advice.

 

[Fadeaway]

Please don't go, that's all I can say right now as I haven't read the whole thread, but I care about you and you need support. You are going through so much and I am sorry that someone made you feel this way. I have a feeling I know what they are referring to, but you are only sharing things from your experienced. I know share anecdotes about similar things I have been through when I see a post that is relative to something I have experienced.