Overwhelm

[shimmerz]

I have been feeling overwhelmed for about 2 weeks now. I am moving. I have moving issues. I have home issues. I have 'living in someone else's home' issues. This is big for me.

I have been going insane cleaning. Angst about someone coming in and telling me it isn't clean enough. That I wrecked their place. I KNOW I am being neurotic. I don't know how to stop it. All the time that I am literally feeling like I am going mad because I am not 'cleaning well enough'. I know my head is screwed up but I have no idea what normal is.

Anyway, pre inspection was done today. It isn't so bad it appears. 80.00 for 'spot painting'. My SO has been telling me all the way along that I was too worried about it. Not to do what I was doing. He saw that I was completely overwhelming myself. And I was.

So I need to ask. Do any of you notice that it isn't so much the world that is overwhelming but instead that you are overwhelming yourselves? This was a real lesson for me. One that has me realize that I have no clue how to find a happy medium and not stress over stuff like this.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@shimmerz
Definitely can relate, I'm really sorry that you are going through all that, when you are doing much better than you think. You are setting high expectations for yourself and not realizing when you do enough, it seems. And yea, sometimes it can be the situation being normal, but after a lot fo high alert, it's hard to calm down. I understand.

Sending hugs if you accept, please, try to trust the people who tell you that you did enough work, that its clean enough and so on. And remember, it will pass, actually quite soon.

 

[Poofycat]

Do any of you notice that it isn't so much the world that is overwhelming but instead that you are overwhelming yourselves?

This. So much this. I've been working on this one for years, but it still takes someone else pointing it out for me to realize I'm doing it again. But at least I'm learning to listen and trust when someone tells me that now.

I don't clean anymore when I move. I ask the landlord how much they'll charge me if they need to have someone in to clean, and if it's reasonable I'll tell them that's how I would like to handle it. They usually charge for cleaning anyway, no matter how clean you leave it. Moving is stressful enough without dealing with things that others can do for a minimal fee.

 

[ghotiff]

it isn't so much the world that is overwhelming but instead that you are overwhelming yourselves?

Yes and no. I view it more that things that overwhelm me, don't overwhelm others. But I also try to remember that somethings overwhelm others but not me (eg some people struggle with heights, I don't). But yet, I do acknowledge that heights are more socially understandable to struggle with.

 

[barefoot]

I tend to agree with @ghotiff's stance above. It's a little less self-critical, I think. A little more self-compassionate :-)

But, phrasing aside - I do relate to the feelings you're describing. Overwhelm is tough to deal with. Wish I had some tips to share!

 

[ghotiff]

I just thought of something which to me is funny (like a joke).

With heights, the "worst" that can happen is that you fall and die.
With cleaning for moving, the worst that can happen is that you get in trouble.

I'm meant to think dying is worse, but I don't.

 

[shimmerz]

I'm meant to think dying is worse, but I don't.

lol. I so agree with this. Great share! Thank you!