Sufferer And Supporter?

[Della]

@DaisySH, you have come to the right place sweetie. I myself being a supporter of PTSD along with other supporters and sufferers, we will help you get though the tough time that you are having right now. You are very much welcomed here. :hug:

 

[DaisySH]

@DaisySH, you have come to the right place sweetie. I myself being a supporter of PTSD...

I appreciate it.. I have felt so lost.. With no place in the world... This has made my trauma float to the surface and it has made me both numb but also I feel everything.. Thanks for the support!

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that both of you are pushing your own PTSD struggles away. He denies much and you hide it all away so that you can take care of him first. I think that relationships are tough under the best circumstances, but if you have two people who aren't working on improving themselves when they've got serious struggles, I'm afraid that the odds are stacked against you.

Please don't think that your PTSD is "less than" his because it's not. Traumas may differ, but everyone with the disorder struggles in some way. (Unless, of course, you're in complete remission.) I urge you to seek out treatment for your trauma. It breaks my heart to see you give up much of yourself for someone else who isn't all that concerned with healing himself.

I think that both of you can be happy together but it's going to take a lot of work on both sides.

 

[DaisySH]

Thank you Eve. I am working on that. I started couple's therapy and have spoken to that counselor for individual also.that has been such a hurtful part of my life that I tried to forget and suppress and has def affected me. I understand that now. Thank you for the insight! I appreciate it!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This has made my trauma float to the surface and it has made me both numb but also I feel everything.

Sucks f*cking ass buckets, i know the feeling, but on the other side of it not only will you feel a ton better than before it happened, you will see things more clearly. Taking one step at a time!

:hug:

 

[DaisySH]

Sucks f*cking ass buckets, i know the feeling, but on the other side of it not only will you f...

It's the harsh reality but definitely the truth. I truly appreciate all of your concerns and input. I have gotten more insight in the last two days than in the last decade... I will work on it and press on!

 

[Powder]

I think he is numbing out because he's not sure if he can handle your PTSD that is surfacing. He may be more afraid of being a failure with helping you than of being a bad husband. I forget the word for this, but it is basically that you fail on purpose so you don't have to find out if you will fail after giving it all you got. It's an ego defense.

From your description, he has a fragile ego and feels the need to keep up appearances at work and with the world. I feel sorry for him, as you do, because he is wasting a ton of energy in maintaining the mask and not feeding the soul.

But you have done the same. You both need to work on accepting the real over the course of time. You need to feel safe to do that. I think you cannot help each other with that since it's being mirrored back. I'd suggest separate therapy to strengthen yourselves. Meanwhile, talk with each other once a week only after doing a purely fun time. You need to just enjoy time together and stop worrying about the relationship. Talking should ensue only naturally and only after feeling fun and happy. Never to work on things. You are both putting too much pressure into that, overthinking something way too simple you want to be complicated.

I hope you find a way to walk that line. Sounds like its being tested. I hope you find a way.

 

[DaisySH]

I think he is numbing out because he's not sure if he can handle your PTSD that is surfacing. He may be more...

Thank you Muse. I think he is overwhelmed and thinks that cling it quits will make him his life stress-free... Although he goes to therapy he is not consistent and his PTSD is really bad.. Keeping appearances is def what he is doing... Everyone things he has no issues and that is definitely exhausting.. We are both working on separate and couple therapy. Right now out interaction is actually good.. We talk small talk and act like friends.. I'm just gonna let whatever be.. If we can both agree and try then great.. If not, well we will always be friends and I will work on my issues. Thanks for your input!