I Don't Get This Question

[ladee]

Even is a social setting she would be a turn off for me, much less in such an intimate situation as therapy... it is not YOU, it is HER... and we don't even care what her issues are. what we care about is that you felt the way you did and had to go home and sort this out on top of everything else you have going on.... There is a good therapist out there just waiting for you to find them. You deserve much better than you got today...
For me, I think sometimes we are given these situations to see how much we have grown and that when we follow our 'gut' we know we deserve better... !!! And you do.... please take care of yourself this evening.... sending lots of gentle hugs if you accept them.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it's a very good thing that you discovered early on that she's a not so good therapist for you. Sometimes it takes a number of tries before we find someone we can truly work with for some time. It can be hard to be between therapists, but hopefully you will find the right fit for you soon.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Salad she sounds utterly hopeless, maybe she's burnt out as they say. Can you get a different therapist, cause even just the thigh slap thing would enrage me!

 

[Ronin]

I tend to think of that range of questions as kindness and extended hand, honestly. <grin>
It's trusting me to think and to know my needs. It's also trusting me to communicate that with them, and that the found needs will have productive expression, and problems solution. That's heckuva lot trust, there, and trust tends to cheer me up.

 

[Deleted member 30956]

@Salad she sounds utterly hopeless, maybe she's burnt out as they say. Can you get a different therapist, cause even just the thigh slap thing would enrage me!

Yes...
I've been crying all night. So shaken up.
What a violent contrast between my sweet, gentle, loving ex-therapist.... and This...
This must be our fourth or fifth session. I guess it took me until now to notice these things.
Cj77, she is burned out probably, true. My ex-therapist was around my age. This one is the oldest I've ever had.
Hoping against hope, that tomorrow when I see her again, and request a different therapist (this is a therapy center), she won't try to use the analytical trick on me and try to make me the problem. Gritting my teeth..

 

[Ronin]

Salad, fingers crossed for you. It sounds very stressful. Any way you can get comfort and soothing prior to that meeting?

In the worst case scenario in it, you're among her colleagues at that place - that's good news: lot of people to report her to in case of abuse, quite directly, at one place.

 

[Deleted member 30956]

Salad, fingers crossed for you. It sounds very stressful. Any way you can get comfort and soothing prior t...

Oh, Cashew, thank you. :)
I don't think there was any abuse, though. I used "violent contrast" because that is what it feels like in my body... it's a poetic way of expressing myself.

 

[Ronin]

Oh, I see. I wasn't sure how to interpret this, from how badly you're feeling about it and was worried what all is going on, so I'm glad to hear it's 'just' not being a good fit together and not other things. In every case, wishing you smooth getting through tomorrow & finding a better suitable provider.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I wish you luck for tomorrow, just tell her she isn't a good fit for you, something like "I don't see myself being able to form a good working alliance with you, I feel unsafe talking with you". Something like that?

 

[Deleted member 31177]

Heck, I wouldn't EVEN go back to her, I would call the Receptionist and let them know you need to see a different therapist - one that has more experience with PTSD, and understands and has learned empathy and compassion - that you are literally unable to see this T anymore for your own peace of mind. Sorry I am just seeing this thread now. I've had so many "doozies" for therapists since I was 12 that I can't even go back to a therapist or Psychologist because of the trauma (very serious PTSD-type trauma with a few of them). I guess you've already gone back to the Therapist and I hope it went well and the T was respectful of your decision. I'd love to hear an update and I'm guessing the others that have been writing would too (not speaking for them, though). Myself, at THIS point, if she came at me and said (especially with a tone) "where did THAT come from?" oooooooh! I have SUCH a trigger with tone, I either would have burst out crying or I would have asked her why she was talking to me with that tone? Anyways, I really, really, really hope it went easy for you and you got a really helpful therapist.

I think they ask in the beginning sometimes "So what can we help you with today" (I hate that, too, especially after filling out the paperwork; why don't they READ the paperwork and THEY can start with an issue we wrote down?!) I believe they are trained in different ways to start a meeting and that is one of them. I've heard it so many times. I'm so sorry you've gone through all of this! <3

 

[Knak]

Why is it that some therapists, during the first couple of sessions with them, ask you "So how do you feel...

It makes me think they are clueless. Or they only saw people who could define their problem, which to me is not the depth I need.
My therapist suggested I write down 8 events that were traumatic or changed me. I was doing EMDR therapy.
I left for a break because I wasn't getting anywhere and getting worse going over what was hurting me at the time.
I finally know now that I need to reconcile the fact that I cannot leave the person who is presently destructive, my husband. I need to know it is not my fault and come to peace with that so I don't keep blaming myself for not doing what I know I should do - leave. So I will probably go back soon to do EMDR.
I hate talk therapy. It only reminds me of my pain that I have no relief from and then I get worse.

 

[FisHunter2015]

Why is it that some therapists, during the first couple of sessions with them, ask you "So how do you feel...

The truth is: There are several ways to begin. If you are uncomfortable with that question, then ask then what they mean by that question. normally when someone meets a new care giver, there is a period of discomfort in establishing rapport. And... we are at a different and higher tempo with our thoughts than the new care giver. lol try to afford them the chance to "catch up" to your speed of thoughts. You don't know each other from Adam. remember that they are learning you as you learn them. it's a new awkward relationship. Also, they come with their own level of skills. Some more or less than others. Give them a chance or don't. Good luck :-)