Mother

[Bookoffee]

Sure you could say, in retrospect all is true and correct except it is more accurate to say that I do not have the ability at this time to deal well with nuanced communications and they are confusing to me so please tone them down or resist the urge to become over involved in my situation for mutual benefit.... or something like that?

I need to figure out if I want them in my life before I start conversation again. I cant handle always panicking wen there is a family event and I don't feel safe enough to leave my house, this is the response I will always have to face.

 

[scout86]

I need to figure out if I want them in my life before I start conversation again.

That, right there, is very important. Remember you don't HAVE to have them in your life. And, if they want to be in yours, you have every right to set up some guidelines and enforce them. My T used to say of my family, "I wish you could learn to see these people as just 'interesting'. " He always said it like... I don't know like maybe he hurt a little himself because the situation was what it was? I wish the same for you! Let them become merely interesting and they'll lose the power they have and seem to misuse.