1001 Ways To Appear Functional (even Though You're Not)

[Heather]

Making plans so your daughter can have friends over and have fun. All the while wishing you were dead.

 

[Friday]

<rueful laugh> Was reminded about this one last night.

Military Hair.

Sweaty Head

 

[Forgetful]

@FridayJones even though I'm female I still keep my hair short military style. Wash, towel dry and ready to go (nowhere).

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I blame the dog. She is so messy. Leaves piles of books every where and never thinks of putting any thing away. She does however clean her plate, more than I can say for me.

 

[Forgetful]

@Changeling I think I'm married to your dog. Lol

 

[Changing4Best]

I hate to cook, so I buy all the things that one can make in the micro or eat out of the package. Since I live alone, I eat out of a can and store it in the fridge in a freezer ziplock bag, eat a lot o lunch meat right out of the package, who feels like making a sandwich, really!?! Then I eat some crackers to go with it.

When I am doing better, then I make salads and use the nicest dressing made by Newman's Own. I like the Lite Italian best. I don't like sugar in my Italian dressing and Newman's was the ONLY one on the whole shelf that does not have it in it.

I sometimes actually boil some spaggetti and use sauce from the Food Pantry that I get for free there. I hate their spaggetti, so I buy some whole grain ones to go with my nature freak diet. The crackers are also whole grain too.

 

[Tinyflame]

This is a funny one I saw, how to sound functional ordering a specialty coffee (for 'those' days), (I would like to do this, just for fun): "I'd like a cafe mocha valium vodka latte please". . :x3:

Another useful one though, if you have calamine lotion, slap some on (especially on your nose lol) when company comes unannounced- "sorry I'd love to have you over but I'm painting.." ;) It really works. :tup: :p (not that I've done it.. ;) )

 

[Ronin]

In case you're lacking basics: Nope, I totally don't need that, I'm one of them alternative kids and this is my choice.

 

[Imafrayedknot]

Own a shit ton of beanies, can't judge you on your messy hair if they can't see it

 

[Changing4Best]

Does owning a bunch of beanie babies count. (your beanies reminded me of that @Imafrayedknot ) . I know that kids love these, but I am in my mid 60s. I think a lot of adults collect these little toys too, but I am not sure. All I know is that having them around comforts me. Some folks toss them around and catch them and toss them back and forth, but I just love to see them around my house. I don't really play with them, I just love to look at them and know that I have them and they are mine, etc. Is that crazy or something that makes me appear like a usual sort of person?

 

[stillstanding2]

Make the effort once a year to set a dental appointment far in advance. Then whenever someone invites you to do something, you can say you wish you could, but you have a dental appointment. Just cancel the current appointment when the dentist calls to remind you the week prior, and while your phone is in hand, call another dentist to set your next year's appointment. Takes only seconds

 

[ladee]

I have many caps. Some I color coordinate to my clothes to make it look like a have fashion sense.