A Question.

[Chimera]

So much of it, forever, afraid that if I start talking I will be drowned in the flood of memories and flashbacks. Hate feeling helpless, hate it so much.
And that makes so much sense doesn't it..

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Yes @Chimera it makes total sense. When we start on the opening of our own internal Pandora's Box we cause an earthquake to erupt within ourselves which is why this forum over and above all other forums on the Internet is so crucial for a sufferer to engage with.

We need the support on offer here or it is like drowning without a life preserver, we simply will drown if we try and battle the waves alone.

We need as sufferers to reach out for that hand of kindness and understanding, here, **take my hand and I will hold onto you until you are strong enough to swim against the tide, lean on me and I will keep you afloat!. Trust in my touch and be assured that I mean you no harm, I am here for YOU today.**

 

[Chimera]

I am still here.
For this moment that is the best I've got to offer myself.
I need to find a therapist.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Theraphy helps a lot.

The beginning will be hell. I was completely chaotic for 2 years after the memories came back, but now I'm more stable. Medications and theraphy.

I've had about 3 years of theraphy. Btw, as you are in America, where the healthcare is a bit of a problem, do you have any solution for paying the theraphy? There are a lot of threads around the forums about finding theraphists and sliding scale payments and all that stuff I don't need to bother with :hug:

 

[7Cs]

I just lost 3 minutes of writing grrrrr.

To be brief, I was "triggered" therefore sought support here but then found others experiences leading to ptsd as well as their experiences dealing with symptoms of ptsd were also triggering. Sometimes things hit too close to home and when they do we react fight, flight, freeze (and some will say fawn).

I think moderating is better than completely stepping way.

:)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Take on the amount that you can... You know how for example someone can take hundreds of thing when taking them one on one, but if it stacks, not doable anymore :hug:

@7Cs
Happened to me a few times also, but for like, 30 minutes of writing to an hour :P Madness

 

[Chimera]

I know this is going to be awful, it's the reason I never "finished" before. I think it may be the magnitude of my experience, to me. I can't even look at it without slamming shut the doors to my herstory. I have also minimized so much of it..the truth..well, it's a different story.
Yes, payment is a concern. The county I live in does have mental health facilities, sliding scale..Monday morning I will follow-up there.

I really want my freedom back, I am willing to fight for it, tooth and nail this time.

Thanks, all of you who are talking with me and others like me.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

What matter the most is that you are willing to get better, because on can only change when they themselves want to...

I learned this the hard way... Unfortunately

I hope that you find something that works. This place is a sort of exposure theraphy, and it helps a lot with peer advice :)

 

[Sideways]

I'm new here, & in hospital with nothing but time on my hands & I'm gonna start by saying there isn't a shadow of a doubt that this place is helping me - it's helping bust throught that mindset that I'm alone & I can't get through this, it's too hard. Because this site is chock full of evidence that actually, I'm not alone, and people really donget through stuff just like my junk.

That said, there's still areas I'm not ready to even visit, & at times, I need to turn my phone off, walk away, and just let myself cry. Compliments & messages of support from other members can be especially hard to deal with for me.

it can be tough reading through stuff on this site, and I have to pace myself. But even though it's hard, doesn't mean it's not helpful. You're not alone, even when it comes to the thoughts about how confronting this site can be. Take it easy.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! I found the site to be very helpful for me as well, in fact it's done wonders for my confidence, I think it's because everyone on this site understands what we are all going through.

I've found this site to be a great help for me, in fact it's been the only support for me since my therapy was stopped a few years ago.

 

[Chimera]

Thank you both, all. It helps to know there are others who understand, as sad as that is..it matters.

 

[Chimera]

I just lost 3 minutes of writing grrrrr.

To be brief, I was "triggered" therefore sought support here but t...

..and some will say fawn..
There's that.