How Would You Feel About Your Therapist Working With Perpetrators?

[anonymous]

So my T mentioned yesterday that in the past she has worked with perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

I'm not sure how I feel about this at the moment but it does seem to have unsettled me.

Just wondering what other people's thoughts are on it.

 

[ssw]

Id say it shouldn't matter. Perps need help too, like us. I went to school to be a counselor and wanted to work with child abusers... I wanted to know why they worked that way, how they justified it and how it was okay to them..

But if she's a good counselor I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Casey_03]

Hmm to be honest, my brain would say she should still be professional and this shouldn't change anything ... but my gut would say this might have skewed her thinking somehow and she might be more forgiving than I'd want her to be. Ultimately, I think all that matters is how it makes you feel, not how it affects her. Your comfort is the main thing here. If it makes you uncomfortable, even if there is no objective reason why it should make you unsettled, it still does ... so there's no point in sticking around for the sake of political correctness.

 

[expectingbetter]

Child abusers are people too, and if somebody needs professional help, they are people who need it the most, they wouldn't have committed such things if they hadn't had real problems in their own heads.

So my opinion is that, if I were at your place, I would be satisfied that I have the opportunity to have such an open minded therapist who is strong enough and found herself competent enough to deal with some of the toughest challenges in therapeutic field.

I could only admire her and I would never question her moral qualities or any other quality bcs of knowing this fact. Not only she is brave enough to take such cases but she is self confident that much to share that fact with you.

I personally, only have a feeling of respect for your T, and I hope you will have similar one too after careful consideration of the fact you have recently got to known.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks.

I guess I'm just trying to make sense of my reaction to it as much as anything at the moment. The more rational, objective part of me can't find where the issue is, but at the same time, something about it has set off some kind of alarm :confused::rolleyes:

I'm pretty sure once I've sat with it a bit I'll land somewhere between

if she's a good counselor I wouldn't worry about it.

my brain would say she should still be professional and this shouldn't change anything ...

and

an open minded therapist who is strong enough and found herself competent enough to deal with some of the toughest challenges in therapeutic field

 

[Ice_Fire]

Hmm tough one. I know my current T has done workshops and things but she's never done 1:1 therapy with a perp. I can't decide if it'd bother me or not, I want to say it wouldn't because she's a professional and I know that blah blah. But I think my gut instinct would be "oh god no!" I would find it uncomfortable, but I don't think I'd have any idea as to what to do about it. The knowledge of a T I was having therapy with had sat there with someone just like the folks who hurt me would be unsettling. Mainly I think that is due to my own anger and feeling like those sick people don't deserve someone to sit there and listen to their excuses for why they did what they did. So I suppose it would make me wonder whether any anger I expressed towards a perp would be met by my T with "well you haven't heard their side of the story" or something. That of course, with a good T, would never happen. But I'd still wonder if they were thinking it.

 

[Anarchy]

Wot te guys wrote..
Sorry Casey, I'm counting you as a guy in there too.

Working with both perps and victims, probably helps a T who is strong enough to do it, to remain all the more balanced towards both sets of clients.

There's also the knotty question of what is meant by "abuser"?

I have a friend who, on the basis of solitary actions, was accused of being a risk to children. A highly skilled professional was able to clearly dispell that assumption, but not before considerable and ongoing damage had been done to my friend and their family by busybodying social workers and gossips.

Another friend recently took a course in preparation for applying for a license to sell alcohol. The guy teaching the course had been licensee for a pub/ hotel.
Twice,over a period of 18 months the cops had conducted sting (entrapment) operations, using 15 year old girls. Employees had served these girls alcohol. Despite the licensee ( according to the rules, it's a single person for each establishment, there can't be two people's names on the licence) not even being present, he received criminal convictions both times. The second time for " child abuse "!
The girls were made up and actually looked 25.

Those people were IMO completely wrongly accused ( and in the second case criminally convicted).

I think most of us know that there are abusers out there that the label has never been successfully stuck to. I'm guessing that the narc / psychopath ones will never see therapy,
But, even a T who refuses to work with known abusers is possibly going to end up working with ones that are not known.

 

[anonymous]

There's also the knotty question of what is meant by "abuser"?

For the purpose of this thread, I am talking about perpetrators where there is not the ambiguity you are describing.

The context of the conversation meant she was using perpetrator to mean someone abusing children in the same that I was.

 

[Anarchy]

Sorry Ice_Fire , we cross posted.
Adding you to list of guys

"Listening to sick/lame excuses" is an excellent point.
The crap that they use to twist their own minds into thinking that they were justified

Actually, it must be difficult to remain professional, and not gratuitously rub the perps noses in that crap, and rub in what sick idiots they were to come up with it as an excuse to hurt others.

 

[Biz]

Would it make a difference to you if those 'abusers' had also been victimized? Also, my previous therapist didn't specifically work with perps, but she worked with a lot of trauma and with many age groups including pre-teens. There's plenty of writing to say that young people with young brains do these actions compulsively due to their own abuse and lack of brain development; what if she were working with young perp/victims?

 

[anonymous]

So I suppose it would make me wonder whether any anger I expressed towards a perp would be met by my T with "well you haven't heard their side of the story" or something. That of course, with a good T, would never happen. But I'd still wonder if they were thinking it.

Yes. Although to be fair to my T, it tends to me finding ways to justify or excuse it and her trying to dispel the excuses, which is actually how the conversation yesterday came about!

 

[Ronin]

To me would matter what her stances are, and that she won't victim blame the victims or insist on bullshit like 'but perpetrators couldn't help themselves, they were in difficult circumstances themselves!'.

But that's my own issues with pedophiles speaking. I'm extremely intollerant of them / they aren't human in my eyes, or deserving of sympathy, pity, or whatever else I have for people in difficult circumstances.