glass half full
Silver Member
I stumbled on this site a couple of weeks ago- I was looking for any sort of insight or answers or guidance. And I found a lot of help here. I'm grateful for that. Even so, its still a tough row to hoe some days.
I connected with an OIF/OEF vet last year. Like so many others here, my experience was initially awesome man, awesome relationship. He was open about having PTSD, TBI and depression. In retrospect I believe he minimized, probably to himself as well as me. Things were great until out of the blue I get an email telling me he'd reconnected with someone from his past and although it was a difficult decision he had to wish me the best. After the initial shock, I found his explanation to be pretty unbelievable and told him so. He never denied it. Sometimes lack of denial is an admission.... Our Skype visits ended, but emails never stopped.
I should mention he was and still works in the middle east as a contractor, although has been home for several weeks. Since the "break-up" he's withdrawn for a week a couple of times, once for two weeks. Each time he just jumped back into a lapsed conversation and frankly was more flirty and fun.
Until a month ago. He had suggested resuming conversations/ visits via Skype, which I was happy to do. Then he failed to follow through. Classic stuff, I now know. Then in the midst of a fun conversation he simply stopped responding. Uh, classic again, I now know. I got a brief- very brief email earlier in the week- the first I've heard from him in four very long weeks.
I've let him know that I still love him and will do all I can to be here for him. Unlike so many others here, he's never told me that he doesn't deserve me or that I could do better. Nor has he tried to break it off again in any other way- he just goes dark.
So long way of saying that I have great empathy for what he has been through, while I know I will never understand. I also have great empathy for those who are pushed away- it is so hard. I know its nothing I did, but I also know there's nothing I can do to fix it.
His contract ends in June. Although he's not said so directly ( hell, he doesn't say anything!) I have hints that he's unlikely to extend for another year. I suppose this is creating a lot of stress and uncertainty for him, although I also believe that the living conditions in his current location very likely set him back at least a year or more in his healing process. There is no way the money is worth that cost, or pain.
I think I can hang in for another two months to see where he is and what happens next. Some days are harder than others. And on those days I can now look for support here.
Many thanks to all who share so generously from their own experience. Its appreciated.
I connected with an OIF/OEF vet last year. Like so many others here, my experience was initially awesome man, awesome relationship. He was open about having PTSD, TBI and depression. In retrospect I believe he minimized, probably to himself as well as me. Things were great until out of the blue I get an email telling me he'd reconnected with someone from his past and although it was a difficult decision he had to wish me the best. After the initial shock, I found his explanation to be pretty unbelievable and told him so. He never denied it. Sometimes lack of denial is an admission.... Our Skype visits ended, but emails never stopped.
I should mention he was and still works in the middle east as a contractor, although has been home for several weeks. Since the "break-up" he's withdrawn for a week a couple of times, once for two weeks. Each time he just jumped back into a lapsed conversation and frankly was more flirty and fun.
Until a month ago. He had suggested resuming conversations/ visits via Skype, which I was happy to do. Then he failed to follow through. Classic stuff, I now know. Then in the midst of a fun conversation he simply stopped responding. Uh, classic again, I now know. I got a brief- very brief email earlier in the week- the first I've heard from him in four very long weeks.
I've let him know that I still love him and will do all I can to be here for him. Unlike so many others here, he's never told me that he doesn't deserve me or that I could do better. Nor has he tried to break it off again in any other way- he just goes dark.
So long way of saying that I have great empathy for what he has been through, while I know I will never understand. I also have great empathy for those who are pushed away- it is so hard. I know its nothing I did, but I also know there's nothing I can do to fix it.
His contract ends in June. Although he's not said so directly ( hell, he doesn't say anything!) I have hints that he's unlikely to extend for another year. I suppose this is creating a lot of stress and uncertainty for him, although I also believe that the living conditions in his current location very likely set him back at least a year or more in his healing process. There is no way the money is worth that cost, or pain.
I think I can hang in for another two months to see where he is and what happens next. Some days are harder than others. And on those days I can now look for support here.
Many thanks to all who share so generously from their own experience. Its appreciated.
