No therapist - waiting for the NHS to make up their mind whether to fund a specialist
No Case Worker - says he doesn't have the skills needed for my condition, so can only call him in crisis. I specifically asked for help before crisis point and was told no
No Social worker - funding cut
No support worker - funding cut
Even if I had any of these, the first time I had to complete an ESA form my previous GOOD care co-ordinator said " Oh, no, policy is taht we don't get involved until someone has been turned down and is appealing"
@Cashew @digger @Zara Lopez @Chimera The problem is only incidentally the actual process of completing the form. It is quite similar to an aspect of my old job, so reminds me how slow my brain is now. That is disheartening, but I can comprehend and comply with the requirements. For someone else it would be an interesting exercise in hoop jumping.
The problem is that it brings me face to face with how ill I actually am. Most of the time I can forget that, or maybe dissociate from it. When I am reminded that so many skills have dropped out, that I barely leave the house, often being afraid even to go into the garden it destroys me. Actually having to admit to someone that I stood in front of the hob with no idea how to turn it off, and in the end just walked away is devastating. Yet those are the details and examples I have to give, over and over in order to qualify.
I'm this wreck of a thing that isn't getting better. When I face that, I can see no reason why I should be allowed to exist.