How do you handle overthinking to the point that it's driving you and everyone else crazy?

hello jory lea. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i noticed you made another post, but decided to respond to this one because it is more focused. i find that tackling my quirks one at a time heightens the odds of actual change.

jorylea said:

Or is it only me?

Click to expand...

is it rude of me to thank you for the grin this brought me? or is that chagrin? at 71, i have grown a comfort zone with letting my freak flag fly, but intrusive thought such as you describe here remain a plague to live with. i have a psych toolbox bigger than texas stuffed with tools for managing them but still often wonder if a frontal lobotomy would be the best solution.

one of my more effective tools for managing them is sharing/venting them within my therapy support network. a post such as this very post is a fine example of how i accomplish that. how 'bout it? did making this post ease the intrusive thoughts a bit?

so or no, welcome aboard. keep venting. your answers are in there. listening. . .

Not intended to trivialize or harm this, just some reflections based upon how I very imperfectly cope...

Worse in previous years whereby it was almost like time travel where I'd pick up some moment in time where the dynamic was off between myself and another or group of those seemingly allied against me. Boom - I'd return to a situation far from favorable to me, whereas I'd switch out responses tending towards the angrier and less inhibited, trying if you will to flip the balance of power in my favor for sharp memories of what wasn't said or done in my defense. I hate myself at such times (i.e. in the thrall of rage others are pains to make sense of), and so soon and once begun I tend to free associate and bounce between memories of inadequacy, enduring what was far from pleasant, being teased and marginalized much to the amusement of some people that are virtual ghosts as I write. Dysregulated to such extent, days might be lost until I exhausted myself and 'forgot'. Continually fearful of the next blast of horrendous traumatic recall though, whereas I cat nap given deep sleep only brings with it nightmares...

Others would relate the same, whereas it does seem a worthwhile practice to journal and record in one place the absolute worst of it complete with working up solid evidence consistent with explaining to oneself what was warped about a certain power dynamic then in play, what factors worsened and deepened the experience of shame, etc. I guess what I'm suggesting is carving in stone memories of what was inflicted upon you and what was learned even as the larger world might remain ignorant of that which transpired. To not 'write it down' is in a manner of speaking, waiting for sharp recall to be triggered consistent with experiencing the underlying outrage as fresh and undiscovered. Possessing an evolving textual 'master record' of sorts allows memory to slip in a certain fashion, whereas reading past notes of my own (uncomfortably at times) confirms important details will slip away regardless - even as we'd imagine that our heads, our memories of loss are static for the seemingly continual experience of despair and despondency.

Although it's not a recourse available to all (i.e. not a huge fan of self-help/trauma exploration/growth titles I), for myself nonfiction reading does avail the possibility of interrupting free association in a depressive vein to the extent of my trusting the writer/researcher to 'call the shots' in relation to the topic and topics under discussion. They are in control of what's described, across however many chapters and at what pace - while at times it's all I can do to press forward with a title given I may be at pains to focus on very little else. This is not to claim that triggers and unpleasant associations will not be encountered - far from it really, but knowing that others can calmly unfold an argument in print versus the miserable private experience of bouncing from one time travel experience of hell to the next without cease is saying something.

This last bit might be a little much to strictly promise, but for decades of reading certain interrelated and overlapping topics, I know I've been challenged to substantially reconsider what it means to overthink apart and away from conceptions of admittedly dysregulated traumatic recall. People will find themselves surrounded by unpalatable and underwhelming company (snobbish though that might sound and read), while registering dissatisfaction in the presence of such may not strictly qualify as overthinking if others aren't really burning the calories to strictly compete. In short, detachment from the crowd sometimes affords its own peace.

For me I noticed that I haven’t been experiencing it as much as I did. I have also noticed that I no longer need sleep meds which I had to take or not sleep for the past 30 years. I have also noticed I am forgetting to take my anxiety medication fairly regularly. I take that as a good sign. I believe I am making progress but it is the old onion thing, I am now aware of a bunch of other stuff I need to work on. But progress is being made.

It takes a lot of work.

Understanding that we are in control of our thoughts. It's not the other way around, even though it feels like it so so much.

Thought stopping can help. Saying "no I will not think about this now". Takes a lot of practice.

Working on the "why" can help. Understanding that it feels familiar so we go with it. Understanding that it is driven by a need for control when we haven't had control. Working on all those drivers can help.

And then working with the body and the sensations. What helps to calm you?

The only way things change is if we actively do something to make it change. And it takes a lot of practice. But it can change.