How Would You Categorize This?

It usually happens in the evening, maybe when something triggered me: Fear of noises, every quiet noise feels like there is someone there, and not just anyone but someone specific. While I rationally know it can't be, I still feel that way. Severe anxiety and panic. In that moment I have unbearable emotions that someone hurt me. I can't deal with these emotions.
It just feels like he is there. I can't open the door because I fear he could be behind it.

Only lorazepam helps when it is fully there, but I need to find other ways.

It doesn't last just a short time, it can go on for hours.

Hypervigilance explains part of it, but not fully, not the feeling that he is specifically there.

(When it is over everything is fine again and I question whether I'm just making things up. Which makes it harder to talk about when I'm not in that state, because I'm ashamed that I could be overexaggerating. I also fear sounding crazy.)

I have a similar issue. My fear begins to increase in the evening and on in to the night. One explanation I have is circadian rhythms and my brain and nervous system processing the darkness. You are not crazy or over exaggerating. Processing fear takes time.

Yes, but the feeling that someone is there, especially a certain person sounds psychotic. I want to talk to my therapist about it but therapy just started. I'm not delusional in that moment, I know it can't be but the fear still is there.

I know I have ptsd. I have had irrational fears. I would not characterize mine as psychotic or dissociative but rather irrational. People in my past some who have passed away traunatized me emotionally or were just down right threatening. Those experiences are in my brain and nervous system forever but the events are over. I am always assessing myself for the fight flight fear fawn response and if it begins I know to not make a decision such as a major purchase beginning a new relationship etc- I have a list in my phone of situational vulnerabilities. I am always fact checking researching learning something using critical thinking. I understand what you are expressing though. I am glad you have a therapist. Have you researched dialectical behavior therapy rational emotive therapy cognitive behavior therapy?.

I used NLP for something very similar to this. Some elements of NeuroLinguistic Programming have been really helpful tools for me. This one I use is the double (or triple) dissociation tool). John Grinder has been a fabulous help to me along the way.


Richard Bandler also demonstrates something you may be interested in. Keep in mind there is some talk around sex in this next video - if you want to bypass it start the video at 4 minutes.

Best wishes to you in your healing.

I know how terrifying it can be when the fear lingers. We can let our memories take control of us or we can take control of them. Im not going to lie to you it might take years. But in time most of us learn that what seems like a disadvantage can be used as strength.

Everyone else doesn't walk down the street with our bad memories haunting us. Learning to smile and control our face when we are triggered. Sends most people to live in the mountains in solitude.

I see my abusers all the time. Not just in my head but physically they like to come around and make sure I'm not talking. I learned to push back. I stand my ground and dare them to step forward. You can let what they did to you control you. Or you can control it. You will learn it makes you stronger.

We carry what others can't comprehend. That empty void your afraid of is the possibility lingering. Don't be afraid We can try and think about something else but if you got CPTSD that might not be enough.

I've noticed Ice CUBES help rub it on your head neck and wherever you have exposed veins like joints. Under the arms. Sometimes I'll drop a cube in my underwear that works pretty well.

The instant temperature change helps at thinking about something else. Kinda shocks your nerves in the right way I'm sure a doctor could explain better I fix many things heads aren't one them. Probably not the healthiest suggestion but I've slept with a old framing hammer for years helps when I feel like I'm not alone. Knowing a would be attacker would be getting a broken bone.

Calmdown said:

Fear of noises, every quiet noise feels like there is someone there,

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Sometimes, it takes a while to place it, but usually there's a reason.

For me it's the same but it's indistinct voices. It got to be somewhat usual that the night nurses would plan their "assaults" to give me med's.

It still bothers me so bad my wife has to use earphones to listen to streaming shows upstairs because it just builds anxiety if she uses speakers.