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So this is a thing. You work consistently hard towards recovery. It's what you want. You want to confidently prove that no matter what you went through from your dysfunctional family, you will rise above and be successful. Then when you get there because you believed you could, you ruin it.

I grew up a Jehovah's Witness. Everyone else has grown up in a different belief system. Mine was therapeutic for me growing up because it seemed better than my insane family I grew up with. I followed this religion/cult to a tea because I truly thought it had something amazing to offer. It...

I grew up as a JW. I had some awesome ppl help me out and try their best to protect me from my parents(abusers) (I will mention, I now feel bad for my parents knowing one of them experienced abuse growing up. I really thought they had protected me from the consequences of abuse through trying to...

I'm still here. Um yay!!!... I'm gonna make this brief. I've been through WAY too much since leaving the security of the cult that I left. Plus, I went from chaste, virgin girl to crazy excult member and now I have no self respect. Anyone relate?!

I decided to rise above my abuse from a young age and was proud of it by becoming a very dedicated cult member. (a Jehovah's Witness). I was very dedicated and thought of I followed all of 'God's'/cult rules, I would be saved, etc. Obviously, it doesn't work that way. But for some reason, for...

I've had OCD since my late teens. It coincided with my diagnosis of PTSD although I was not diagnosed with OCD. I always kept that part hidden. Sexual fears and obtrusive thoughts are not something easy to talk about to anyone. Anyways, once I got baptised as a JW ( Jehovah's Witness), I don't...

I hope this post doesn't sound too bold or whatever because it's referencing spirituality. But I want to address where the source of our strength comes from. The struggle between believers and non-believers. The struggle between whether that strength came from us alone or with the help of "God'...

I had someone come into my life and be a friend for me when I was a teenager. She was a little over a decade older than me. I came from a really crappy, weird home life and she seemed to have all her shit together, always busy, perfect house etc so I wondered why she would want to be nice to me...

Growing up under stress as a child, you learn the cues, you become both aware of your surroundings and self aware. You can handle a lot of things at a time. You are good at making sure other's are feeling Ok. Ect. Then you become an adult and engage in self sabotaging behavior! But you used to...

I am finding EMDR to be so helpful in my healing process and to helping me understand my self sabotaging behaviors. Why and how? If done right, (and don't expect immediate results) and whith the right therapist whom you trust, EMDR can help you to release and express emotions. Often times...

Sometimes I feel like I am lying when I am telling my story. Sometimes I can't believe it happened. But it did. Sometimes I wonder if it is related to the fact that my dad called me a liar almost everyday of my life growing up from the time I was a little girl. Sometimes I feel guilty for things...

What helps motivate someone when they are totally down and out or when life throws them something awful? What really helps someone to be inspired once again and have hope? Any replies welcomed. Thanx And to clarify. I'm talking about what drives someone to love life again after they've perhaps...

We are all beautiful people who are going through so much hurt. Why? I don't know but I think it's unfair. We all deserve beautiful lives that are completely fullfilled emotionally, physically, sexually and spiritually. I believe there are ways we can heal and truly reconnect with ourselves so...

Ok. So you are living your life to the best of your ability despite obstacles and even enjoying the simple pleasures of life even despite abuse or maybe a different trauma. Then suddenly you find yourself turning your thoughts against yourself and engaging in self-destructive behaviors you never...

I feel overwhelmed and emotions are strong causing me tension and anxiety and fear. I am scared. I am tired. I want to wrap myself up in a blanket and hide myself from life and this world and people unless they are loving. I am having an extremely strong existential fear for this world. My...

I feel like I sound so desperate but don't mean to sound this way. I guess you can say I tried to use the cult to heal myself from anything wrong I aquired from growing up in a weird family but eventually discovered the cult was just as dysfunctional but it didn't seem like it was dysfunctional...

This os something I am noticing lacking in ppl's recovery. Some of us have such a strong resilience we can get through anything! But sometimes this resilience sucks so bad because we don't want to have to be strong and resilient all the time to get through everything. It means sometimes, we have...

So Ok. There are opinions out there from different sides and that's Ok. There is this one huge opinion amongst people that we are responsible for our own happiness and to an extent, I agree. Yes. But the other part of this opinion is an abuser hurts you very badly, in childhood or adulthood and...

When I was in the strict religious cult growing up and into my early 20s, the cult kinda shielded me from the rest of the world, like a superficial security blanket. While there was a lot of fear in the cult and a focus on armageddon there was also a focus on paradise earth where we would live...

Do you ever struggle with being ostracized for a variety of reasons and feel totally misunderstood and wish you could overcome this and get rid of the awful feelings of being rejected? I do for sure. And it sucks so bad! I am still working on overcoming this. I grew up in a weird family for...

Background info first: I've shared before. I grew up in a strict religion that some cult experts consider either a cult or high control group. I didn't like being part of it growing up because it separated me from family members, class mates, etc. But, I totally fell for all the religion's BS...

I notice I self sabotage sometimes, in small ways and big ways. And when does this happen? When I am starting to feel happy, calm, untriggered and a good place in life. When I have barely any problems and things are going good, I start to feel lonely. And I also start almost wanting the sad PTSD...

f*ck you! I hate you God!. This may be offensive to some and I am sorry. I don't want to interfere with anyone's faith. But this is how I feel right now with my former faith. It has caused a lot of pain and because of it, I have a sh#t ton of anger towards a God and the former strict religion I...

There are a variety of things that hold us back from truly healing and figuring out what it is, is essential. Fear, shame, lack of support or lack of validation, an addiction, untrustworthy people, etc. I personally found myself holding back my own recovery because I wanted someone to genuinely...

Anyone have issues with self sabotage? What about allowing toxic people finally get to you when you realise people that were supposedly care about you, aren't happy for you when you are healing PTSD symptoms and you finally more at peace with yourself and your life yet are tired of being strong...