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I am trying to find out if this blow up is deserved. "Sorry I don't give a shit"? I'll go away for a few days and see if i want to come back. You can delete my account if you like. Maybe delete your post too before others see it.

Ok Ok, fine fine. I didn't mean to cause a major problem.

I agree that you should remove my ex's name and my ex fathers name. I didn't think it was possible anyone would recognize them by their first name, but it is fair. The lawyer and the judge, however, were acting in their professional capacity. These not confidential, personal or private...

I posted in /general forum a pretty horrific thing that happening Monday. I told some people at work what they needed to know to get the paperwork done and let them know it was okay to do the paperwork. I told my friend at work what was going on. My boss called me. He said my friend told him...

It is kind of hard to comprehend, but it is not so much the court. I don't do this, I do see others do this, so I don't understand it. My ex Dad is a power networker. We would go to the Club to these giant dinners. It was disconcerting to see people approach him with friendship and he would...

I have been working on detachment, letting go of the fear of what she might do, and that i will be okay no matter what. I also practice turning it over to God and letting him handle it. Or praying for his will and letting it go. I even made a "God Jar" one time. You write the problem and put it...

Oh, my god was that tough. I had two, survival guilt and control. My AA sponsor nailed me with a technique I often use now. What would your brother want? Would he want you to suffer like this? I let go of survival guilt, that I went on living and it wan't fair because he died. The control was...

I felt a lot like things weren't real. Like I would be in an AA meeting and I could touch the table in front me, but it wasn't really there. I thought this was the side effects of a defense mechanism, like denial or disassociation. That I made my trauma not real to cope, and then this took...

Ha ha ha, that is why it didn't work!

This is super tricky. People typically have strong emotions on these things. I think if you want to try discussion I am okay.

Ah man, someone pm'd me and I keep messing up the reply and it posts here.

Often in AA someone will say they hate a a particular sex. Someone hurt them in the past, typically a parent, and they have blamed the entire group. We tolerate their sexism as they work through it. Someone may have a series of bad relationships and blames that sex. We help them see it is their...

I thought I would share this because I think it is helpful. Evolution says our species evolved to a particular environment 200k years ago. Our reactions to threats, typically predators, which are the same for many animals. 1. Muscle tension in neck. This is called armoring, or keeping the bite...

The magic is in the story. If you make a movie about trauma, it is too real and painful, so you make it a cartoon. See "Waltzing with Bashir". A lot of Anime deal with trauma. Demon Slayer is an anime about losing your family and saving your remaining sister. It is about having the power to do...

I had a case worker in Rochester throughout my 6yrs in the mental health system. She helped me with SSD paperwork, taught me to clean and cook, took me to the food bank, piled us into the van for ice cream, and did counseling. When Stephanie would see me, she would always smile this giant smile...

Ok, it worked out. Really positive responses. I didn't think I could connect unless they knew and understood me. This couldn't be more awesome. For me, NARP is most effective, condensed program for my recovery. I have to take risks and trust for recovery. Often I need help from people I call...

This reads like a funny story, I see it that way. My sense of humor is a godsend that has kept me alive so many times. I was hiking a month ago and I got pressure in my chest. I hike too rigorously, I'm 60, and my body is likely hurt by trauma. I began to worry it was the onset of a heart...

I posted this in NARP. The Title is: "I'm afraid there is no room for me in your worldview". If this works out. It could mean a lot for people in this forum who feel misunderstood. There is even some humor. Asking for help in a forum so you can get help in another forum. Keep in mind I am...

My fear is NARP is like Al-Anon is in my home town. Upbeat, positive, hopeful and anyone can recover. Except what about me? Just a tiny bit worse and I would be a locked facility for life. My therapist used to tell me that when I complained. He deals with kids who were locked in closets for...

I am on another forum called Narcissistic Abuse Recovery or NARP. It is a program by someone in Australia. It works for helping with trauma. I know they are going to find out about me. There going to see my trauma is over the top severe. I let it slip about how my brother died when I was 13. I...

I have 2 years of an EE degree from San Jose State. I attended when I was 47. My classmates couldn't figure it out, they were all around 19yrs. But I had friends, and I listened to them. A young guy from Sir Lanka was desperate to get a degree to sponsor his brother (costs 10k), before he was...

When I got sober in AA, I stopped fighting my trauma. I immediately ended up in the mental hospital. I did not see that coming. I spent the next 6yrs in group homes, in and out of the mental hospital. At 4yrs, I told the group home counselor I was getting a job at Burger King. He said not too...

I have 32yrs in AA. When I got sober, I was in darkness. My world felt and looked like death. My sponsor (AA mentor) had a horrific trauma, he would often share at meetings. This was not a popular thing to do, but it was tolerated. When he would share his trauma, It would literally pull me out...

I'm just trying to make sense of my experience. I had a classic PTSD trauma, similar to a combat trauma. I also have a CPTSD trauma from child abuse. It feels like I don't fit perfectly into the NARP program and I can't find civilian PTSD groups. I then pursued the knowledge and treatment the VA...

When I was young, it was like someone crazy was walking behind me with a knife, and any minute he would kill me. I tried sleeping in the closet, under a blanket so I was unrecognizable, and I brought a knife (not violent, just trying anything). It didn't help at all. I used to imagine operating...