1001 Ways To Appear Functional (even Though You're Not)

[Heather]

Remaining calm....when you want to scream.

 

[Ronin]

Warn people ahead 'let's pretend we're on a tropical island' indeed isn't your relaxation scenario, instead one of 'Oh great we're juust getting started'.

Or, I'm one of those morose people who's afraaaid of shaarks don't mention them. And hope phobias you don't hold but people commonly do are a good enough excuse from participating.

 

[Heather]

Having to pick up your daughter from school in an hour and yes, I'll be there. but would much rather scream, rant, rage and get it all out!

Although there's so much don't know when I'd be done...a couple of months from now.

 

[Changing4Best]

The other night I set off the fire alarms in our building because I was cooking some bacon and it didn't even burn, just a touch of smoke rose from the pot. I was later told by the building manager that the Fire & Rescue folks would fine me if I kept setting it off because the alarm system calls them and tells them there is a fire and they bring their trucks and all to "put it out." I was told that I, however, did something "good" because the alarm system got tried out and the monitoring company called a city 100 miles from here to put out the fire! LOL... Needless to say, their mistake is now corrected and if and when someone sets of the alarm again (hopefully not from anything more than cooking, like me) it will call the correct fire company and they will come next time. No fire company came the other night thankfully, so I won't get fined.

Anyway, I got away with it this time, but now I have to figure out how to cook without setting the stupid thing off, or I will get a fine! This is not one of the ones that you can pull the battery out of or anything that simple, it is wired into the whole building in which there are 14 apartments!

I think I will only be microwaving from now on. Stove top cooking for me is too often an adventure in smoke for the new system and my budget to handle.

 

[jaccat]

@SheilaKathy I didn't tell you this, but when I was a student in halls some people were known to put socks over the alarms so they could smoke inside;).

 

[Ronin]

Outstanding mood days?

Sorry, my cell battery was out and recharger nowhere to be seen.

Oh you mean all the phones? Dog ate them. It doesn't matter I don't have a dog. How can you presume to know all the dogs I'm love-hate related to anyway? So as I was saying, my phone was out.

 

[stillstanding2]

Warn people ahead 'let's pretend we're on a tropical island' indeed isn't your relaxation scenario, instea...

Keep a mental catalogue of the phobias others have. If you simply have to break and run while burdened by one of those people, say something that obliquely reminds them of their phobia.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Have a high intensity shower when you are going somewhere after not showering for 2 weeks

 

[Heather]

Entertaining 4 (11 - 12 y/o) girls for 7 hours on hardly any sleep. I'm exhausted.

 

[stillstanding2]

Entertaining 4 (11 - 12 y/o) girls

Been there as a single dad. Brain-damaged by nail polish fumes from slumber parties, choked by the smoke from scorched popcorn. Deafened by the all-night Karaoke concerts. Skidded and sprained on the spills in the kitchen. Yet smiling kindly as the guests' parents thanked me for allowing them their own "date night". yeh...funkshunul...yeh...funkshunul...y...

 

[Always awake]

Walk at a slightly faster pace than those around you, unless it would paint a target on you, to convey you...

Ha ha ...I do this all the time. I speed walk through the office hoping Noone will bother me getting back to my desk.

 

[Heather]

Drag myself and get dressed (on no sleep). Get my daughter to school. Come back, DO THE DISHES. And maybe the laundry.

Looking and acting functional = priceless.