12-step programs and cptsd/have you been harmed by 12 step programs?

[Deleted member 8714]

Usually aggressive, perverted men who take advantage of vulnerable woman.

My husband and I had to quit seeing a therapist ages and ages ago because the guy was preying on vulnerable women in anonymous meetings. We couldn't stand to see what was going on, so we quit both the therapist and all anonymous meetings.

 

[Margaret Victoria]

My husband and I had to quit seeing a therapist ages and ages ago because the guy was preying on vuln...

Wow, I understand that. I knew a horrific heroin addict/alcoholic who became a therapist. He once told me that he cannot endure being alone with his thoughts, so he always has tv, radio, etc. to distract him. He married a young woman about 20 years his junior, and just got more and more toxic as he got more and more sober!

 

[FragileGlass]

I have always viewed AA with the understanding that it’s one method in a line of potential assistance available. Kind of like prescription medication. Penicillin works for some, it can hurt others. But there are alternative options.

I have seen the program work successfully for many, I have seen it cause far worse problem for others. Especially those who have heightened emotional vulnerabilities or instabilities. I watched my ex wife transform from admitting her alcoholism and wanting help to becoming a flawless super human, very judgemental of others. She forgot some steps along the way. She was manipulated into this overpowering unstoppable behaviour that became critical of everyone around her.

I was proud she attempted to get help. However AA destroyed whatever was left of our marriage because I could never get around the AA wall that became her new moral compass.

 

[Mach123]

I have always viewed AA with the understanding that it’s one method in a line of potential assis...

Church can be like this sadly. I have a whole thing about this, I believe in God you know, I'm not ashamed to say it but, I became light hearted about it? IDK how to explain it? People go to church and start trying to be good but you can't, so you become a legalist, which is what you described. Or, put another way, if you start to measure yourself against the "law" (whatever law) you see how you measure up, then, you naturally look around at the other people, and see how they measure up. So now it's a fu*king competition. That's not "getting better." It's not "being a Christian." It's the exact opposite. Then they come up to you and they're like "I want to have a little talk with you about your behaviour." Excuse me? So as you can imagine, I don't belong to many (any) groups. Lol

 

[FragileGlass]

It got bad enough that I preferred the drunk over the self tooting perfection she became. There were days I’d pray to my higher power that she fell into the bottle just for a change of pace. While I am never one to willingly assist someone to fall. I can assure you I had dreams of me driving to the liquor store to buy many bottles and leave them around the house for her to find like an Easter Egg hunt. She may have been a bad alcoholic. However the drunk version of her still had some semblance of sanity. LoL

 

[Mach123]

It got bad enough that I preferred the drunk over the self tooting perfection she became. There we...

Ok I'm laughing my ass off on this one. Thank you so much.

 

[Marvel545]

I have been going to GA for 6 years on & off.

In my first month there I got ripped off by a guy who took my money, promised me books & went back gambling.

I still attend a weekly meeting, but I have zero intention of doing the steps.

It helps with my gambling, but that is it. There are cliques within meetings & some people there clearly need more help than the rooms can give them.

I don't believe that anonymous programs work for trauma as I've found them to focus on self blame, which isn't good!

The meeting I go to is good. There is no pressure to do the steps & most of the guys have been in recovery a while.

 

[Lamename01234]

Yes I was molested by my Alateen facilitator. I understand it helps some people but I am terrified of it.