Sufferer 21 Year Old At University.

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Hi, i'm new here, just recently been diagnosed with PTSD by my therapist (as ive been putting off going to see one for several years and have just recently had the courage to go).

Here's my story:
I am 21 years old, at University studying Forensic Accounting which I absolutely love!

I was sexual abused from a young age, never told anyone as I've been too afraid to. I keep getting nightmares, panic attacks, vivid memories that feel so real it scares me its happening all over again. I'm scared of men and the thought of anything sexual makes me cry, although this is a confusing matter tbh.

I haven't been seeing my therapist for long as I've only recently just gotten the courage to go and I am very scared to talk to them, as well as anyone about this, but I feel like I should.

Erm, yeah.

Apart from that, I love to dance and write poetry x

 

[ms spock]

Welcome to the Forum SwordsMistress.

There are some really good people on here.

 

[WillyKat]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry that you're feeling so scared. That said, I'd like to congratulate you on two very courageous things you've done: starting therapy and posting here. Pat yourself on the back or have some chocolate or something because those really are big deals.

I hope too that your fear of men might diminish when you realize how many of us are here (me being one) and have gone through some of the same abuse you have. Granted, there are some important differences for women and men, particularly in daily life and recovery, but there are so many things that are the same.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Thank you WillyKat. I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through similar events in your life that I have. I can handle men when there are other woman around, or in a crowded place, just not on my own, or if there were just men, I don't quite know why that is.

Im glad to be on the forum, to meet people that have been through similar events and make new friends. Thank you =) x

 

[Tolkienian]

Welcome, SwordsMistress! I've only been here a few days myself, but the outpouring of support and understanding here is really wonderful. I'm really sorry you're experiencing this too, and I admire you for the scary steps you're taking to get better.

I also get triggered around groups of men and in sexual situations, but meeting some incredibly gentle men (and having a very gentle, understanding boyfriend) has been very helpful in the past few years. Not all men are icky. (Actually, one of my favorite Disney songs is the deleted song from Hercules that starts, "I always thought that men were slime, / And every guy I've met has proved me right...Until tonight." That's "I Can't Believe My Heart," just for citation purposes--I'm in University too.)

 

[WillyKat]

I have to say that even being a man, I have a hard time being with other men, especially alone.

 

[ms spock]

Nice chatting with you today Swords Mistress!

The Moderators tend to be very helpful in letting you know the rules via sending you an email and where to find stuff.

Post to the HelpDesk if you need assistance or read the rules on the Help Pages. Really clear and good.

The Mods do a lot of hard work so it is nice to treat them with respect and the occasional thank you.

This place is awesome in my opinion. I appreciate all the hard work that goes into make it function.

I hope you get as much out of it as I do.

 

[Seasounds]

Hi Swordsmistress, it is great to have you here! You are going through a lot. You are right, with the right therapist, talking is helpful. Be patient, follow your needs, trust your gut, and stay in touch. As I related to your story, I realized the power of community in my healing.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Hi Tolkeinian, nice to meet someone else here who is new =) It is so stressful, especially when there are deadlines going on and having to deal with this at the same time. I love Disney haha! good choice on film and song lol

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Hello again Ms Spock. It was lovely talking to you too! Thank you for making me feel welcomed here and helping me out with using the forums. Hope you are well.

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

Hi 21152, Thank you. I'm glad I'm on here as it makes me realise im not alone and not the only one. =)

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!:)