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1. :hug: @Junebug
2. :hug: @C j
3. :hug: @Recovery4Me
4. :hug: @expectingbetter
5. :hug: @TreeHugger (Mein Baumwürger! :D:D:D)
2. :hug: @C j
3. :hug: @Recovery4Me
4. :hug: @expectingbetter
5. :hug: @TreeHugger (Mein Baumwürger! :D:D:D)
1. I've decided. I think.
2. Except to say: but do you think it's possible that having had to make life or death decisions in the past- sometimes acting on them, but sometimes not reacting at all- brings the feeling it's more a necessity to choose and react (the process) without delay, more so than it matters even what is chosen?
2. Except to say: but do you think it's possible that having had to make life or death decisions in the past- sometimes acting on them, but sometimes not reacting at all- brings the feeling it's more a necessity to choose and react (the process) without delay, more so than it matters even what is chosen?
Recovery4Me
VIP Member
Wanted to hug you for the profession that you chose which bears so much responsibility, joy sometimes and heart ache others.
From what I have seen and what my friends (Drs., First Responders, Nurses, important professionals like you ect) have shared- many have underwent the same thoughts, in tears and doubt. One friend surgeon went to therapy to be able to get back into the Zen of the task at hand rather than freeze under the trauma weight of the past.
She once offered- finding forgiveness for herself and understanding she was human & imperfect (not God that knew all) was very important in order for her to continue. *I hope this helps. XxXxo0
Lionheart
Not Active
I am finally back online and wonder if anyone missed me?
I am so happy to be reconnecting with my friends.
My new doctor doesn't get it (PTSD)....what a putz!
Panic attacks really suck.
I am going to be just fine now.
I am so happy to be reconnecting with my friends.
My new doctor doesn't get it (PTSD)....what a putz!
Panic attacks really suck.
I am going to be just fine now.
1. ((((( @Lionheart777 ))))) :hug:
2. Dear @Recovery4Me , :hug::hug: oh no, no importance here, I only care for those dying or aging/ ill, sometimes I am there sometimes not, it's the practical care or presence, not more. Though I have had to co-jointly makes decisions to pull the plugs (so to speak :( :rolleyes: ) for family members, I was thinking more of the times that I didn't stop others (their deaths), & also took gambles - eg, do I run? Do I grab the knife? Do I fight back? Do I punch the driver in the car when he & I are on the highway? Do I give someone else the keys back? Do I hide? Do I risk sneaking across the room? Do I try to swim when I can't? , etc.
Maybe the pressure of the replays- the feelings of anxiety & urgency, & also the guilt when I didn't act, I wonder if that influences my decisions now. Or not.
Because I was thinking today about abuse, not sure if I could have anything done to me that would matter now. I suppose it would, but physically not in a healed way but more in a what does it matter way Idk. Think I would just think get it over with.
Then I was thinking maybe it's just recognizing the same kind of environments that trigger (not the proper use of the word, not a FB, not sure what other word to use) the feelings, even if the environments don't seem unsafe. Maybe it's picking up on the feelings that are the same that abuser's had. Or maybe not. :confused:
I do realize/ cut myself a bit of forgiveness re: the past, it's easy to leave when numb. But maybe numb = fear, too? Maybe I felt that past times? I can't remember.
Sorry that's 6 rambling thoughts.
2. Dear @Recovery4Me , :hug::hug: oh no, no importance here, I only care for those dying or aging/ ill, sometimes I am there sometimes not, it's the practical care or presence, not more. Though I have had to co-jointly makes decisions to pull the plugs (so to speak :( :rolleyes: ) for family members, I was thinking more of the times that I didn't stop others (their deaths), & also took gambles - eg, do I run? Do I grab the knife? Do I fight back? Do I punch the driver in the car when he & I are on the highway? Do I give someone else the keys back? Do I hide? Do I risk sneaking across the room? Do I try to swim when I can't? , etc.
Maybe the pressure of the replays- the feelings of anxiety & urgency, & also the guilt when I didn't act, I wonder if that influences my decisions now. Or not.
Because I was thinking today about abuse, not sure if I could have anything done to me that would matter now. I suppose it would, but physically not in a healed way but more in a what does it matter way Idk. Think I would just think get it over with.
Then I was thinking maybe it's just recognizing the same kind of environments that trigger (not the proper use of the word, not a FB, not sure what other word to use) the feelings, even if the environments don't seem unsafe. Maybe it's picking up on the feelings that are the same that abuser's had. Or maybe not. :confused:
I do realize/ cut myself a bit of forgiveness re: the past, it's easy to leave when numb. But maybe numb = fear, too? Maybe I felt that past times? I can't remember.
Sorry that's 6 rambling thoughts.
Recovery4Me
VIP Member
@Lionheart777 :hug: Yes we missed you!!!
Lionheart
Not Active
Awwww!!!! I have missed you all too!!!! :hug:'s
Eiy. Too tired. Deleted.
I came back to say,
1. I suppose it is a trigger.
2. Triggers can be managed.
3. It's good, if not foreign & makes me feel vulnerable, to try to think in new ways.
4. Hopefully I won't regret it. Oye. I suppose I'm not an optimist. :(
5. Sweet dreams to all. :hug:
I came back to say,
1. I suppose it is a trigger.
2. Triggers can be managed.
3. It's good, if not foreign & makes me feel vulnerable, to try to think in new ways.
4. Hopefully I won't regret it. Oye. I suppose I'm not an optimist. :(
5. Sweet dreams to all. :hug:
Last edited:
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