1. (((((
@Lionheart777 ))))) :hug:
2. Dear
@Recovery4Me , :hug::hug: oh no, no importance here, I only care for those dying or aging/ ill, sometimes I am there sometimes not, it's the practical care or presence, not more. Though I have had to co-jointly makes decisions to pull the plugs (so to speak :( :rolleyes: ) for family members, I was thinking more of the times that I didn't stop others (their deaths), & also took gambles - eg, do I run? Do I grab the knife? Do I fight back? Do I punch the driver in the car when he & I are on the highway? Do I give someone else the keys back? Do I hide? Do I risk sneaking across the room? Do I try to swim when I can't? , etc.
Maybe the pressure of the replays- the feelings of anxiety & urgency, & also the guilt when I didn't act, I wonder if that influences my decisions now. Or not.
Because I was thinking today about abuse, not sure if I could have anything done to me that would matter now. I suppose it would, but physically not in a healed way but more in a what does it matter way Idk. Think I would just think get it over with.
Then I was thinking maybe it's just recognizing the same kind of environments that trigger (not the proper use of the word, not a FB, not sure what other word to use) the feelings, even if the environments don't seem unsafe. Maybe it's picking up on the feelings that are the same that abuser's had. Or maybe not. :confused:
I do realize/ cut myself a bit of forgiveness re: the past, it's easy to leave when numb. But maybe numb = fear, too? Maybe I felt that past times? I can't remember.
Sorry that's 6 rambling thoughts.