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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1. I should NOT be afraid of one missed call from a friend, but I am :sorry:
2. I should not be afraid because my therapist won't be here for just 8 days, and I am :blackeye:
3. I should look forward to spring like I used to long time ago, I am still trying though :ninja:
4. I need to try to solve the issues which are stopping me from switching to having a smartphone
5. I need to be kind to myself plus occupy myself for next 8 days. Scared though.
 
Sometimes the perks of working in retail are great. I got my holiday suitcase for silly money.
Delayed stress reactions are :inpain:. Woke with stinking headache that painkillers don't touch.
PPI adverts are soo boring.
What to have for dinner when you're not hungry?
How the hell am I going to explain Sunday to T?:O_o:
 
@expectingbetter try not to should yourself. You feel what you feel. It's ok

1) I am not real.. hmmm... can we say dissociation? Right now not feeling real is ok, but it's probably not a place I should stay
2) I need to get moving. Things to do and then work. That part of dissociation is weird because I'm so not functional or ok, but I will be at work. Adds to the not real feeling. I remember showing up to work the day after ODing. I coudln't stand straight. I couldn't stop shaking and yet, there I was talking to customers and doing my job like my body wasn't super sick and I hadn't just tried to kill myself. Total out of body experience. I kept waiting for someone to notice had bad I was. When the customers weren't there I was leaning on the counter because I felt like I couldn't stand and then someone would walk in and I'd pry myself off the counter, smile and stand mostly straight. After about 2/3rds of the day, I finally told my manager I was sick. I don't remember driving home (or there for that matter).
3) I still need to get going. I really don't want to give the pup a bath. Maybe I'll go smell her and see if she's less stinky. If I do give her a bath, I need to get the house warmer first
4) keep drifting in and out. taking forever to write 5 thoughts. maybe this is the day we actually don't manage to click into functional mode
5) what was I doing? huh... wow, it's several hours later. I wonder if ever figured out what I was doing and that's why I wandered off
 
Learning my healthy limits feels so damn limiting some days.

Music, sweet music.

Everything is energy and can and will be returned just as it's sent....which is always hard to remember until it comes back around....spend wisely.

Processed crap creates even more of a process to have to undo the process created to ease the burdens of the initial process....hahahahaha....silly f'n humans.

Watching my favorite breeze surfers ride the waves of the strong winds makes me wish I could join them.
 
My new chicks are very cute and fitting in well with the original 2.
I don't want any roosters since they will have to go.
My last one attacked me so badly I nearly had to kill him to get him off me.
He is gone now.
He would sneak up on me and attack, causing me to be highly triggered. Asshole.
 

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