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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
Thanks @Chimera, and to think I have had a crappy attitude the whole time... trying my best to not let it escape thru the pours of my skin , when I was setting, once again... in the bureaucratic crap... Have no patience for it... and I don't feel I am being true to myself....I hate the games we have to play, but also understand they can not, nor should they have to, deal with ALL of me....
 
1. All $hit that comes into my life was not reserved exclusively for me...sometimes I just pass through a $hit zone.:D
2. Anybody can look good when things go their way...PTSD allows a freaking template for resilience and rising above.
3. Sour grapes thoughts such as -"I hated where I am living at anyway." actually are comforting right now, with the 30 day notice.:tup:
4. Sometimes bullies win, but long term, I will win by not being around the bully.
5. I can feel empowered by being gracious, polite and not letting the LandLord see me sweat. (I saw her disappointment in me not breaking down.);) Marvelous...:joyful:
 
Insomnia sucks:depressed:
What is it with the nightmares, too?
Trying to decide what to eat this evening. Too tired to cook.
I'm struggling to communicate with one of my best friends right now, not entirely sure why.
I'm desperate for my long weekend off. Only 9 days to go and I'll have my first real holiday away from home in more than four years.
 
1: leaving the house is NOT on today's agenda.
2: brown sugar in the coffee? why haven't i thought of that before? sounds genius!
3: i keep forgetting brown rice takes much longer than basmati rice to cook.
4: if humans have the technology to put people in orbit on a space station around our planet, why can't my county embrace some technology and do skype therapy (or some such thing) for when folks are having a hard time?
5: i think i need to secede from The South: would that make me an ex-pat if i moved to, say, the pacific northwest?
 
-I'm grateful my son took a mental health day today, we're fishing on the dock.(no bites yet)
-I remembered my dream
-I'm broke but my son wants breakfast food, we're going out :)
-happy I can walk just fine and that I live in a town I can walk in.
-grateful that I've been able to hold onto my kids through all my stuff, they really keep me hopeful and directed.
 
1. I'm in the middle of prepping for an interview/presentation type thing for a job. I'm really excited about the job, which is...strange...I don't get genuinely excited very often.
2. I am trying to manage my expectations and excitement in case I don't get the job.
3. I'm finding the prep work difficult but know I have done much more difficult things much easier/quicker in the past. It makes me feel like my brain is turning to gloop. I'm trying to remind myself that it's because my concentration is shot to shit...and a challenge with concentration/focus doesn't' make me stoopid...
4. When will my back stop aching?
5. I've got my first therapy session in over a month tomorrow. A small part of me feels "yay" about that. But mostly I feel "ugh" - weirdly defensive and hostile about going. I wonder whether I'll tell her this when I see her tomorrow...
 

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