Relationship 6months Since He Isolated, Now He's Shut Me Out

[Deleted member 27524]

So it's been awhile since my sufferer ( combat vet) last isolated. Last October through December just seemed to be a rough patch for him and he snapped right out of it after Christmas. Things have been amazing! Now last Thursday I noticed he was different. Friday we talked a little bit and Saturday we spoke 5 minutes and I told him he seemed down to which he said "Naa". I then told him if he wasn't happy with me anymore that it was okay he could tell me and he said "it's not you".."we both know how difficult I can be sometimes". That was it! Last I've heard from him. I am only assuming the memorial holiday may have something to do with it.

I hurt for him, I worry for him and I obviously miss him. I've been pretty strong so far but those little insecurities want to creep in my head and say "he's blowing you off". However he has expressed his loyalty to me just recently and without having to be pushed. The guy I know would never just disappear for good. He would never hurt me like that. He's just not a coward like that. So being 4 hours apart I just get to wait it out. I hurt worse for him than me. I texted him once Saturday saying simply "I miss you, I love you and when your ready to talk I'll be here" and once last night with this poem I found on a PTSD website. That's all I plan on bothering him until I hear from him. Guess I just needed to vent.
Here is the poem in case anyone would like to use.

BREATHE....You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.

 

[Sighs]

:hug:. This too shall pass.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Memorial Day and this whole weekend cannot be over soon enough... no disrespect to the fallen.

 

[lonelyeyes]

@Thunderstorm

That is a amazing poem! Thank you for sharing, I am just starting this roller coaster with a man I been dating. I am so confused right now as I have not heard from him for over a week. He has never gone this long without reaching out to me. We just had a amazing weekend before this??? I am not sure what triggered him into not talking to me.

 

[Deleted member 27524]

My baby was back this morning! Woke me up on his way to the firehouse! He said "I am sorry, I just got in a funk." "It's like I can't control it." I said "you don't owe me an apology." To which he replied "yes I do, I'm sorry you know me sometimes and I don't deserve someone like you." So we have talked all day and he's back to himself. I said " did you even think about me at all?" He said "of course I thought about you." I expressed to him my fear that one day he will leave and never come back and he said "I will never do that to you"...So today he is my giggly, silly, lovable guy again and I am so thankful he feels better.

 

[ihateusernames]

Memorial Day and this whole weekend cannot be over soon enough... no disrespect to the fallen.

Tell me about it. I am not a vet and haven't personally lost anybody in combat, but this weekend has been really BAD for me. I don't know what's going on. It gets under my skin every year. This year worse than any before. I can only imagine how it effects those with a more direct connection. :(

 

[Deleted member 27524]

So after that day at the firehouse and he was so sweet, he just kinda got quiet again. I know when he's just not himself after 2 1/2 years. So he's been quiet for 2 days not speaking and tonight I get an unexpected text telling me I have "became his best friend." Sighs.......

I'll admit I feel a little stupid because he hasn't isolated at all since we got super close for the last almost 7 months. So for these changes the last week of silence it has really shall I say caught me off guard emotionally.

 

[Deleted member 27524]

I guess after so long of it being GREAT, I dunno how to not taking being shut out personally is a better way to say it.

 

[Deleted member 27524]

I realize I keep posting on my own thread but it helps to just sort it out for myself. So today yet again my sufferer so withdrawn. Hardly speaking and just not himself towards me. He's been so "busy" the last 3 days! He has worked his ass off his entire life mostly as an adult and he always told me it's been his defense mechanism. We had a really great time last Thursday and boom that's when it all started. Hardly communicating to me. I can't even have a conversation with him. He keeps talking about work and yes I know people are busy but this behavior is out of our norm and I can't help but feeling that he's pushing me away by being "busy". He says he has pushed it away before, that it scares him, that he doesn't like being vulnerable and I feel like that's what he's doing. I'm sorry but it pisses me off! If I'm such a problem for him then I dunno why he burdens himself with me. I understand maybe I'm coming off a bit bitc*y, but I don't think I'm very rational right now. I suppose I'm just annoyed.